[@Stormflyx]

So far, the sheet is really good! You could already tell a lot about Ashna from the personality section alone (I liked the tattoo bits especially, the Steed tattoo being reminiscent of how people tattoo horoscope signs on them in real life), and the drunken lip tattoo really gives off the vibe of someone who is impulsive and living in the moment, even if a number of those are presumably drunk. 

How did her mother die? It wasn’t mentioned, I assume she died in the Great War, but it seems kind of sudden that she died and the entire family packed up and moved to High Rock. What prompted the move there instead of to another city in Hammerfell? I could see them leaving when the war was happening, but this sounds like it was after the war ended they made the move. Likewise, the decision to move to Skyrim after its Civil War seems like it would be a hard choice because the economy would still be in shambles after its own costly, town destroying war and harsh climate, as well as the Stormcloak victory might have led to discrimination from the nationalists. I’m wondering why they didn’t stick with Varnhur, you’d think after losing most of the family, they wouldn’t want to split up any more than they had. Especially since later you mentioned that the Colossus bandits moved between Skyrim, Cyrodiil, and High Rock, what if they were caught by them in High Rock when out of town? It still allows for the tragedy of losing her family and gives Atha a clear destination of where he’s going, back to Varnhur.

When the bandits took Ashna and Ahth, why did they take him up on his bargain? They obviously didn’t have qualms killing youth, so why would they spare him instead of killing him? It’s something I think would serve better if he simply abandoned her and escaped, or to spare upsetting Ashna, they decided to let him go because they don’t kill (sort of ) kids. Maybe age him down a bit?

I kind of feel like you’ve given her a bit big of a family to start killing/ writing off in the span of consecutive and short paragraphs, it kind of robs any emotional weight you might have had if they just perish without there being any development or characteristics assigned to any of them. Her father is great for the purposes of a bio, but most of her siblings don’t really have any insight into them before being written off. Maybe just give her a couple of siblings and flesh them out a bit so we can understand their relationship with Ashna a bit better, and help emphasize their motivations a bit better. There’s no need to get overly detailed or spend a lot of time on it, but enough to have these early stages in her life have a bit more weight and clarity to them would be great. 

One thing I would like to see emphasized a bit more and given some more development is how she went from having no training and fitness to speak of to being handed an axe and being an untouchable monster against other bandits. You should probably have her get trained by Bjogar and the other bandits, and then be given the opportunity to prove herself in practice duels. It makes it seem like he just tossed her into the fighting pits unprepared and she was able to best people who were bigger, stronger, and way more experienced than she was. Maybe she earned a couple injuries here and grew into a capable fighter through trial and error by proving to be a really capable fighter. Maybe her brothers or father taught her how to fight and forced her to exercise at a young age due to the fears of the war coming to their doorstep?

Why did the bandits go into Shimmermist Cave at all? That seems like a huge risk to take, especially since there presumably wasn’t any plundering goals in mind;  Falmer aren’t exactly known for their luxury goods. Perhaps the Stormcloaks routed the bandits and they were forced to take refuge? Just give some context why they’d be forced to be going in the Elder Scrolls equivalent of going through the Mines of Moria. 

8 years is a long time to be a bandit leader, there has to be some sort of story that came out of that time period. What led her to growing disillusioned with them? Why did they cross provinces, what feats did they accomplish? Did she learn or refine skills? While I can appreciate her wanting to leave that life behind, there’s no really any indication that she’d want to immediately join a mercenary company, since it’s kind of the opposite of a “free” life that is alluded to in the ending sentence. 

There’s a lot to like with the premise of the character, hopefully none of this was disheartening! Most of what I mentioned can be easily elaborated on and fleshed out to give a bit more meat and weight to the major parts of her life, and a few of my suggestions weren’t about anything being bad, but hopefully some suggestions for how to make them work in the context of what you’re going for. I really like the concept of having this little orphan girl becoming a bandit leader, and she’s got a lot of great bits and pieces I just really want to see elaborated on. An example of how you can help flesh her out is how she acquired her fears; there’s a separate story there that would be great in the bio. We never hear about her run ins with Frost Spiders or how she came to being unable to swim and prone to seasickness, which could easily be included in the first parts about her family’s shipbuilding business.

“Ashna wears a medium style armour - despite the fact that she would be better served wearing heavier armour.” < This seems a bit contradictory to her fast fighting style, why would she think heavy armour would do her better? She’s definitely built more like a skirmisher than a warrior.

I would also recommend giving her throwing axes as well as her war axe, as if she throws her weapon, she’s disarmed save for the dagger, which doesn’t compliment a shield very well. 

So far, it’s a pretty nifty start! Nothing here seems overly problematic and I definitely have a good grasp of what you’re going for. Just flesh it out a bit and tidy up the sections I mentioned and I think it’ll be tip-top shape.