Of course I'm okay with that, I welcome it! It helps me be aware of my mistakes, therefore giving me the information I need to correct/improve things. 

For the comments: thank you! I wanted to do a better job of that this time around, since I didn't give much of a view into what Ghent's adoptive parents are like. I'm glad you like Mr. Prescott! I like him too. And, yeah. Stress-free day? I don't think so. :P

For the suggestions: Wow, this has opened my eyes. I never knew when it was appropriate to add a break, I just figured I would do it as an easy way to end a scene. I'm awful, I know. xD Thank you so much for explaining that, and adding examples too. I'll be sure to keep this in mind when I do long posts that require breaks.

For the transition from dream to reality, that's awesome! I can see how that would make the scene stronger, and easier to read. I'll keep that in mind, too. I haven't written for dreams in ages either, so this will help me for when I do that again. 

Ah, my old nemesis...the passive voice. I catch myself doing that ALL the time, and I'm not sure why. Thank you, one hundred times, for explaining and giving me examples of other options. I do see the difference, for sure. Now I can't wait to put your advice into practice! 

And..."that". Guilty as charged! "That" and "Then"...I don't know why I use those so much. I'm going to try to improve on all of this, thank you so much for taking the time to give me constructive criticism, and writing tips/examples. It makes the challenge of writing a little easier. As always, if you catch me doing any of this, or making other mistakes, let me know! I can't tell you how much I've learned from you. :D

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