[h3][center]Everlasting Pain[/center][/h3]
[hr]

[i]4th Day of Last Seed - Early Night[/i]

The Huntress made her way through the streets of Solitude. She told Do’Karth that she needed to finish running errands after their quiet picnic on the cliffs above the harbor. She had a letter to send to Liliana, a short update on events, wishing her sister and Lodjolf the best of health, and inquiring after the child she carried. The sun had sunk low past the horizon, already the last remaining light had started to slip away, while the black veil of the night crept across the eastern horizon. 

She replenished her supplies with what little coin she had left, stocking up on a health potion, and cure poison potion, the rest went to food. Mostly dried jerky, bread, and honeyed treats. Sevine took to the path through Solitude’s graveyard, noticing the abundance of nightshade blooming. She paused here for a moment to revel in the silence of this holy place. For a second, Sevine thought her eyes played tricks on her. She could have sworn she saw a shadow moving along the stone wall. Naturally, she held her breath, eyes narrowed into slits as she tried to focus on the figament. 

“Leif?” She couldn’t believe it. There he was, leaning against the wall with a bottle of wine clutched in one hand. He was a pitiful sight. The moonlight stole him from the shadows, the most forlorn look etched across his face as he lifted his gaze to meet hers. He turned at once to avoid addressing her, but she couldn’t help it. Even though he acted like an ignorant bastard, and was quite thick in the head, she still felt a kinship for him.

Sevine closed the distance between them, catching up to him in a few short strides. 

“What do you want?” When he spoke, Sevine could tell that he wasn’t drunk, but his words were thick with anguish. As if a knife had been driven through his heart.

“I… We need to talk. About everything.” She started. What could she say?

“There is [i]nothing[/i] to talk about.” He shirked away from her outstretched hand. 

“Please.” It was that word, that single solitary word that made Leif lock eyes with her. This had been the first time since the beating by Do’Karth that he had looked her in the eyes. Gods be damned. Gazing into her pine needle green eyes brought a searing hot pain in his chest. He loved her. He always would. But the scorn she brought upon him that day ached like a freshly healed wound.

Sevine had his attention for now, and so she took his unoccupied hand in her own, pulling on it so that they could sit with their backs against the wall. Leif sank like a sack of flour being dragged across sand. When they were seated, Sevine bowed her head, searching for the right words to say.

“I’m sorry, Leif. I truly am. I never meant to cause you so much pain. I thought you knew… I didn’t understand how you felt… I feel as if I should have gone about this entire situation in a better way.” As she spoke, her words like music in his ears, Leif said not a word, but listened in dutiful silence. The wine bottle in his hand was unopened. For the past few days, drinking had lost its appeal as he struggled to move past the incident back in Dawnstar. Work kept his mind off it, and when he wasn’t working is when his thoughts took hold.

“I brought this on myself, Sevine.” He said, she had yet to speak again, he knew she was having trouble finding the right words to say.

“I was an idiot. I thought I could make you love me. And I didn’t respect that Do’Karth,” he pronounced the Khajiit’s name without venom, “and you had formed a special bond.”

Silence filled the air between them as they entered into a thoughtful reflection.

“I really do love him… I know it seems unconventional, but I do not care what others call me. You know me best of all. Do you remember what my father told me?” Sevine sighed as her father’s words echoed through her head.

“Mara gives us love in our time of need.” Leif answered, she spoke highly of her father, always had, and kept a level head with her beliefs in the Goddess of love. 

“Mara gave him to me, Leif. She gave me Do’Karth in my time of need. When this burden in my heart could not be quieted…” she ran a hand through her hair, “I never wanted this Name. And I regret everything I’ve done to earn it.”

“That officer almost killed you Sevine.” Leif returned his voice no higher than a whisper. He never thought he would have the chance to sit beside her again and talk, it felt strange. A welcoming feeling, but bittersweet. 

“Well he didn’t, thanks to you. But [i]I[/i] killed him in cold-blood. Murdered him for revenge. There is no honor in that.”

“That is the nature of war. Killing one another. Murder.” 

“No. Not like that. Not by killing a defenseless man in the midst of taking a shit in the woods.”

“So what of it?” Leif asked, unsure why Sevine told him this.

“...if I had never killed that man, I wouldn’t be known as [i]The Huntress[/i]. People would not call out to me in the streets. I would just be another Nord woman… would you have loved me then?” She instantly regretted the words, wishing she could take them back. Why had she asked him that? Her heart beat fast, she thought she would faint. Leif shifted towards her, his calloused hand gripped her chin, turning her face to look him in the eye. She shivered at the touch of his rugged hand against her smooth cheek. It felt foreign, though familiar. 

‘[i]Is he going to kiss me?[/i]’, she wondered, thinking of what Do’Karth would say, or how he would react. Would he hate her for confronting Leif? Would he feel relief that Leif had come to terms with their relationship? Would he feel jealousy.

“I would have loved you still, as I do now. Your heart is full of goodness, warmth and kindness. You are fierce, proud, and wise beyond your years. I could learn a thing or two from you.” His hand fell away, though his gaze remained firm.

“Can I ask… why?” Leif needed to know, it was the only question that he needed an answer for.

“Why what?” Confusion crossed her features.

“Why Do’Karth?” His question caused her to draw away, her back resting against the cold stone slabs.

“One day, when you become Leif the Noble, or Leif the Bard, the excitement of your Name will wear away, just like a winter that lasts too long. You will wish it to end, to see the next spring, to begin anew. When I told Do’Karth of how I earned my name… he did not judge me. Nor I him. He did not see me as a woman of fame, but as an equal. He is gentle, patient, and a soul that is pure of heart. Do’Karth… is everything I’ve wanted. I want you to understand Leif, for I feel this is all my fault… I never took your advances seriously. I thought you were jesting. We were friends, and you openly pursued other women. How could I have taken your words to heart, when your actions dictated otherwise? It is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It looks like a sheep, walks like a sheep, but it does not smell like a sheep. For that I am sorry.”

Leif knew what she spoke to be true, and while it hurt to hear, part of him felt as if a weight had been lifted. He knew that his actions had betrayed his words, though why he thought she wouldn’t mind his other pursuits made him feel equally terrible. He almost didn’t hear her next question.

“Can you forgive me?” 

“What is there to forgive?” He sighed, his shoulders sagged.

“Forgive me for this miscommunication. Let us make amends. Let this scar heal. I understand if you cannot, maybe in time, but I never meant to hurt you.” He could smell her scent, lavender, her favorite flower, the delicate scent of the ocean lingered on her skin, and honey. He wanted nothing more to wrap her up in his arms and carry her far away from this war. Far from the Kamals, to retreat into the mountains, and live out the rest of their days together. But that idea was far from reality, and he needed to face that.

She rose to her feet, perhaps it was wrong to ask him to forgive her, she stooped to collect her things when he rose to stand beside her. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her right against his chest. Sevine didn’t resist. Leif needed to heal his heart. 

“I have to let you go. You belong to him, and he belongs to you. My heart of hearts breaks when I see you with him, but time will mend this.” He cupped her face in between his hands, searching her eyes for anything that would give him a hint at what to do next. Leif pulled her back against him, his arms enveloping her in an embrace that he would not forget. He turned his face into her neck, where he breathed deep, fighting through the hard lump forming in his throat. And then, he planted a kiss upon her cheek. A soft, tender kiss. 

“I wish you all the happiness in the world.” His words cracked as he stepped away, taking in the sight of this beloved fiery haired woman, before turning around altogether and slipping away into the shadows.