[CENTER][h1][color=00FF7F][b]Ryan Mendoza[/b][/color][/h1][/center][hr][INDENT][sup][COLOR=SILVER]Tuesday, August 21[SUP]st[/SUP], 2018 - 02:28pm | The 'Loft'[/COLOR][/sup][/INDENT]

Ryan didn't really consider speaking up further. A few people in the class had roughly the same idea as her, a few seemed... well, [i]really[/i] cynical, to say the least. So, she pulled the notebook - it [i]wasn't[/i] a diary, as she found herself constantly insisting - from her pocket, deciding to try and get a few thoughts together before they got some kind of explanation as to what they were doing here.

Normally she'd just have let her mind wander, and she considered it briefly before shaking her head.

[color=00ff7f][i]Nope. Not worth it.[/i][/color] Not if they were going to be having a discussion. It was important to keep her thoughts collected and maintain her composure, not waste her time worrying about the inevitable lapses in judgement that came with daydreaming. Frankly, it seemed better to just keep her head down, and for two, well--

Yeah, [i]definitely[/i] not worth it. They wouldn't listen to what she had to say either way. So being quiet was the best use of her energy. 

She wondered if there'd be time to catch Mr. Lehrer after class. It wasn't as if she knew any more about what 'Social Conscience' was supposed to be than anyone else in here did, and she had studies to plan. The class hadn't replaced anything too vital, and she was confident enough that she could do some extra revision to get an idea of the material she was missing. Maybe. Couldn't afford to let things slip here, because one thing led to another and it was already so tough to keep it up.

The disruption to her schedule wasn't really appreciated, but at least there were perks that came with the exclusive class. Perks that seemed generous considering that, for lack of a nicer way to put it, the students chosen left her thinking it wouldn't be too academically rigorous. A mixed bag, and one with very few things in common. The list, as far as her best guess, pretty much started and ended with "attends Mathers Memorial".

Deciding to ponder that question some other time, Ryan sighed and looked down towards her notebook.

[hider=Ryan's Diary]

[indent][i]Day one. Here we go again.

School hasn't changed much. It's good sometimes, and sucks other times. I'll probably write more details down eventually, but not here in class. People sometimes read over your shoulder, you know? And, well, that's just so much of a bother to deal with. Managed to find somewhere quiet to study during breaks, so at least things are pretty figured out on that front. My classes were easy; but I read ahead over the holiday, so it'd have surprised me if they weren't.

I wish people wouldn't be disruptive all the time, though. Like, it makes it difficult to focus when they're always so distracting. Sometimes I think I'd be better off just studying on my own, but you've got to keep up appearances. Participation, right?

Don't think I'm gonna go home right away today. Mom's gonna start asking the usual questions again, and I really don't feel like making up stories. Sure, I could admit I don't really talk to anyone, but then she'd get all worried, and I'd have to explain why it makes me so uncomfortable. I mean, it's pretty obvious that I've just got my priorities, but she'd worry anyway. She worries a lot, and it took me a while to figure that one out myself, so I dunno if she'd believe me. It's kinda funny, really; all the complex stuff from class is fine, but figuring out something as simple as that was tough for me. Guess it's hard to self-reflect, though.

Hard to believe I worried there might be something w--[/i][/indent][/hider]

[hr][INDENT][sup][COLOR=SILVER]Tuesday, August 21[SUP]st[/SUP], 2018 - 02:45pm | The 'Loft'[/COLOR][/sup][/INDENT]
Ryan abruptly slammed her book shut as Mr. Lehrer started to speak again, which slightly ruined the impression that she'd just been taking notes for class. She made up for it of course, dutifully paying attention to the teacher's comments. 

It was good to know her answer had been at least somewhat right, though, and she allowed herself a small smile at that. Morality, choice, and existentialism. Seemed like she'd been fairly on the money with her guessing as to what the class was centred around. Which also meant she'd definitely have to ask for study materials, of course. When working with concepts this abstract, it was generally much easier to just ask than try and figure it out by yourself. 

The explanation of the class was admittedly a little unsatisfying, the idea of 'potential' seeming nebulous at best, but she didn't voice that complaint. Frankly, she had very little idea what made her stand out as having potential to change anything; she'd be the last person to bother shaking things up. If people wanted to change the world, that was good for them and in some cases admirable, but Ryan was hardly strong-willed or passionate enough to even approach that kind of challenge.

Putting those concerns aside for now, they were faced with a task, specifically group work. Which unfortunately meant she'd really have to give her classmates the time of day, a prospect that made her more nervous than any number of grandiose future plans, not that she cared to admit that. It would be fine, though. So long as she didn't let her priorities slip too much in the process. Too much, of course, meaning any amount at all.

Picking groups, though... considering she'd deliberately not been paying much attention to the others, she couldn't really make an educated decision there outside of maybe 'try not to provoke anyone that can make your life miserable', and taking the initiative wasn't exactly her forte. For a moment, she raised her head, hoping to ask someone nearby, but the words caught in her throat and she sank into her seat, silently stewing in anxiety instead.

At least she'd only have to wait five minutes.