[@Burning Kitty] The personality is a non personality. I don’t know who she is as a person. [quote]A true tactician and firm believer in the teachings of her father. She was also very reverent of her father. She planned her missions carefully and patiently, considering every angle to ensure the best chance of success. If necessary she would adopt jump into the situation without carefully and patiently planning her missions, when this was necessary she survived because she was very good at thinking on her feet.[/quote] True tactician, how? What are her father’s teaching? “Perception is reality” “An eye for an eye” Second sentences sounds more like a summary of her actions or what she does. She was very good at thinking on her feet? She isn’t now? This needs another lookout and needs to have more meat on its bones. [quote]Skills: Blending, Eavesdropping, Freerunning, Interrogation, Lockpicking, Social Stealth, Swimming, Whistling[/quote] Skills are to be relatively non combat related, if they tie somehow into the mundane parts of their life, then you need to write in how. Like I put Viorel is a tactical thinker, but how it affects him in the mundane parts of his life. These skills need defining, because even they have limitations to their function. This is a list. [quote]Hobbies: cats[/quote] What does this even mean? Is she a vet technician when not working for SYNBAD? Is she a cat breeder? Is she a crazy cat lady collector? Does she train cats? [quote]Weapons: Throwing knives, dual gauntlets with built in brass knuckles and hidden blades, kukri Equipment: smoke bombs, each gauntlet has a rope launcher Fighting Style: Stealth elimination: the killing of a target without drawing attention of anyone who could pose a threat[/quote] Another list, but no explanation in how she uses it. And that fighting style makes absolutely no sense. I noticed the Baritsu. But Stealth Elimination? That is the vaguest explanation of a fighting style. How? What methods and techniques and the limitations? Etc. [quote] Ability Information: Name of Ability: Assassin’s Dogma Class: Psychic Character Theme: Stealth Ability Capabilities & Qualities: Assassin’s vision: able to instinctively sense how people and objects relate to them, which manifests as a colored glow, much like an aura. Red indicates enemies or spilled blood, blue indicates allies, white indicates sources of information or hiding spots, and gold indicates targets or objects of interest. Invisibility Healing Strengths of Ability: Assassin’s vision: grows more powerful with use. She can mark targets and see them through walls. Invisibility: activated automatically Healing: activated automatically Weaknesses & Limitations of Ability: Assassin’s Vision: it is not infallible, if someone presents as a friend completely hiding their true intentions they will not have a red aura. Cannot run while in use, if they run it turns off. Invisibility: Only works when crouched and still and takes a few moments, automatically becomes visible when bumped into or when in motion Healing: it takes time and only when not physically engaged in life or death scenarios.[/quote] This whole thing doesn’t relate to a Tier 5. Tier 3 or 4 more than likely and I’d go with Tier 3 to be perfectly honest with you. Invisibility and Healing would need some rework. How much time does Healing take a minute? What level of healing are we talking here? Major or minor wounds? What about severe wounds how would they affect her? You cannot just write down a sentence and expect this to be considered clearly defined for abilities. Invisibility “works when crouched” sounds a bit silly like a video game and I’ll be honest it can be reworked that she has chameleon like skin and can sort of change her skin to the environment around here, but out in the open she cannot go invisible. I don’t make invisibility interesting because right now, it’s not. The only part of the abilities that I find actually clever and interesting is the Assassin eye and the ability to mark her targets with a psychic aura she can only see. I also said that powers are to be specialized into a branch. So how does Invisibility and Healing relate to the assassin eye? This is not a world where a New Breed is Superman and gets super strength and Xray vision and frost breath and heat ray vision. Their mutations are specifically specialized in a focus or area that fits their theme. [quote] Biography Quote: there is no quote Reputation: non-existent Theme Song: there is no theme song[/quote] I get where you’re trying to go with this. But the biography comes off hokey and nonsensical. Quotes are still required and so is a theme song. I don’t mind the non existent reputation as much, but the other two things are needed. What this character needs is a breakdown and some flesh to their character. They need to be plausible, breathable and more focused. I’ll be honest with some of the skills you could cut them down to about half. I don’t do power play. I ask for this level of detail so that way if someone explodes someone’s leg off, you can’t say “my leg heals” like magic.