[center][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/180527/3d6f9cc34743e18594f866723f06dd2c.png[/img] [img]https://i.imgur.com/eKRLILs.png?1[/img] [img]https://i.imgur.com/NrW2gDy.gif[/img][img]https://i.imgur.com/5gUcsh9.gif[/img] [img]https://i.imgur.com/9wc6wfc.gif[/img][img]https://i.imgur.com/Qgmddyv.gif[/img] [img]https://i.imgur.com/iiDCV5o.png?1[/img] [color=slategray][sub][@Universorum] [@Lovely Complex] Starring: [color=309b75][b]Damian “Chocolate Milk” O’Connor[/b][/color] and [color=6175ff][b]Joy “Oh Crap Auntie’s Gonna Kill Me” Darling[/b][/color] Featuring: [color=008967][b]Bartimaeus “Little Dude” Snyder[/b][/color], [color=40f45f][b]Amity “That’s Mrs. Snyder to You” Snyder[/b][/color], and [color=008b8b][b]Jericho “I’m Drunk” Snyder[/b][/color] Location: The Snyder Mansion[/sub][/color] [/center] [indent]Even before they’d driven all the way up the winding driveway, Damian had thoughts about Joy’s uncle’s house. It looked like something [url=https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/marvelcinematicuniverse/images/1/1e/Tony_Stark%27s_Mansion.png/revision/latest?cb=20141129010344]out of a fucking movie[/url], built into seaside cliffs and overlooking the city of Malibu. The second they had crossed the gate at the bottom of the hill it was like the game had changed. Now, on either side of them, were small parks, groves of trees, and even little gardens. There was a massive sandbox here, and a pool with a trampoline to jump into it there — in the light projected from the poles on either side of the driveway, Damian could have sworn he saw a rollercoaster in the distance. He glanced over at Joy, [color=309b75][b]“he [i]lives[/i] here? You’re not just driving us up to some weird hotel, right? Because this is wild. How much did this property cost, anyway? It seems like your aunt and uncle own this whole hill...”[/b][/color] And the truth was… they did. Joy would know the story, that almost 15 years ago. The hill they were driving on was once luxurious residential area, from head to toe, until Jericho had decided that he wanted it. With the help of his wife, and a small loan from his uncle, Jericho and Amity Snyder bought the whole fucking hill (the goddamn madmen), tore down all the houses, built their mega mansion, and then Jericho had spent most of his life since just adding whatever he felt like to it. It was his playground; the house, the land, even the beach down below the cliffs. In a lot of ways, and the media had said it a million times before, Jericho was just a kid trapped in an adult’s body. [color=309b75][b]“I can see why you wanted to come here though, it’s friggin’ awesome. Hey, you’re doing really well, by the way. You’re a natural, maybe your mom and dad will buy you a car for your sixteenth, huh? Then you drive me around sometimes.”[/b][/color] [color=6175ff][b]“You really think so?”[/b][/color] Joy briefly glanced over to Damian, before bringing her eyes back on the road. This was [i]a little[/i] nerve-wrecking, nothing like the speed racer games. She forgot how long of a drive it would be, but at least she was getting the experience she needed. A car for her sixteenth birthday, huh? She wondered what her mom and dad would get her. Would she be able to customize it? [color=6175ff][b]“Oh, and yeah, they do own this whole hill. Fun fact, but this use to be a neighborhood, but when Uncle wants something, he gets it, and both him and his wife have [i]a lot[/i] of money. Getting the things they want is never a problem.”[/b][/color] Slowly, she pulled up in front of the garage. Putting the car on park, Joy turned the ignition off, pulled the keys out, and offered them to her boyfriend, [color=6175ff][b]“You ready? I don’t know how much exploring we can do, but I’m sure just entering it you’ll jizz in your pants.”[/b][/color] Joy teasingly chuckled after her last statement. Damian took the key and slid it into his pocket, though he didn’t look over at Joy until after looking forward, toward the house they were about to enter. Even from in front of the garage, Damian noticed a bit of an oddity: it seemed all the lights were off. It was a little late, he figured, but it wasn’t like [i]that[/i] late, was it? He shrugged his shoulders, before looking over at bae. [color=309b75][b]“Yeah, you did fine. You could do a bit better with the turns, but that’s okay. People get better with practice and you didn’t do anything glaringly terrifying.”[/b][/color] He hopped out of the car and leaned on the roof of it as Joy got out, adding, [color=309b75][b]“hey, I didn’t want to tell you this while we were on the road, but like… that whole trip was kind of illegal. You got a permit, but the licensed driver has to be over 21 for a permit driver to drive… I figured if I told you, you might stress and like, drive us off the cliff.”[/b][/color] What the fuck? Joy looked at him like she couldn’t believe he allowed her to drive. Sure, she kind of demandingly asked, but he could’ve refused! She was a good girl. Tainting her bad record would not be good for her! Okay, lately, she has been tainting her record a little… with spending time with Damian and doing [i]things[/i]. Unspeakable things. Naughty things. With him. Even so! She didn’t want to do anything [i]illegal[/i]. All the singing he did got her caught up in the moment, forgetting about the laws of the world. Joy didn’t even take in all his constructive criticism because she was still baffled over the fact that he didn’t tell her to stop driving! With that, Damian turned his attention to the house, [color=309b75][b]“is it as cool inside, as it looks outside?”[/b][/color] Damian asked, walking up to the front door and putting his hand on the knob. He turned it carefully, cautiously… and found that it was totally unlocked. Weird. He shook his head and looked over at Joy, before he threw open the door. Little did Damian O’Connor know, this would be the biggest mistake of his night. Possibly, of his life. For in the living room, on one of the couches, there was a blanket cocoon. And inside that blanket cocoon, was the woman of the house, and her son, who Damian knew as ‘lil boss.’ Both of them were asleep, and they had only gotten to sleep but thirty minutes ago. After the door opened, this was no longer the case. [color=008967][b]“Is Daddy home?”[/b][/color] Damian had woken the sleeping child. Hell hath no fury like a mother being woken after spending two hours getting her child in the mood to sleep. Most days, Amity Snyder was a [i]pleasant[/i] woman. Absolutely lovely, welcoming, and full of positive energy. Right now, though? This very moment. Shooting her head up, her unruly hair draping down, there was no need to do much to her hair on a day off, Amie let out a light grumble before gently hushing her son, [color=40f45f][b]“Daddy isn’t here yet, lovebug.”[/b][/color] [color=008967][b]“Somebody is here! Maybe it’s an X-Man! Let’s go, lets gooooo,”[/b][/color] came the reply from her son. She already knew her fate for the night, so rather than try to get him to sleep, she simply unraveled the cocoon, grabbed him, resting him on her hip, and shuffled her way to her late visitors, looking like a goddamn gremlin. Her every thought was on high definition. On top of not getting rest herself, which was [i]never[/i] a good thing, Amie had to live with a husband that had insomnia and a son that would surely take after his father sooner rather than later. The mother of the household wore black shorts, that displayed her nice, slender legs, and a loose merchandise tank of her husband’s professional video game team: RD. No bra. After walking into the home, lights immediately turned on, letting him see the home in all its glory. While normal people eyes may have looked around and appreciated the crystalware, or the white tile floor that was so shiny you could see yourself in it, or maybe the massive spiral staircase… Damian’s eyes instead found their way to what looked like a drinking fountain in the wall, accompanied by a shorter one. Damian looked over at Joy, [color=309b75][b]“Is that a water fountain?!”[/b][/color] He asked, walking over to it, when he realized that the button was also a dial, which had different colors on it. Damian turned the dial, to blue (his favorite color) before he hit the button. Instead of water, some blue fluid came out, and Damian cautiously leaned forward, tasting it with his tongue. IT WAS JUICE. [color=309b75][b]“[i]WHAT[/i]?!”[/b][/color] Damian’s mind was blown. And so was his volume control. Clearing her throat, Joy realized her grave mistake. [color=6175ff][b]“Eh-heh… hi, auntie.”[/b][/color] [color=40f45f][b]“Joy, out of everyone, I would’ve assumed you knew better.”[/b][/color] Amity was [i]not[/i] happy. Actually, she was cranky. Extremely cranky. [color=40f45f][b]“HEY, did I say you can have some of my husband’s juice?”[/b][/color] The mother snapped. If she wasn’t as tired, she’d be more than happy to offer JJ’s juice, but right now, when she was on very little sleep. Fuck that shit. [color=6175ff][b]“Auntie, I can explain!”[/b][/color] Joy nervously played with her fingers. [color=6175ff][b]“You see, Uncle said we, as in me and my boyfriend —”[/b][/color] [color=40f45f][b]“Boyfriend?”[/b][/color] Dully, Amie blinked at Damian, surveying him. Who the fuck was this kid and why was he dating precious Joy? [color=6175ff][b]“Yeah! Boyfriend. Well, Uncle JJ said we can come whenever!”[/b][/color] Amity’s attention went back to the young nerd, who had no idea what she was doing. Her aunt’s face read: oh he did, did he? There was a moment of silence, Joy couldn’t help but gulp uneasily. [color=008967][b]“It’s Joy! And Joy’s friend!”[/b][/color] The little guy was squirming in Amie’s hands now, ready to get down from her arms so he could PLAY. Damian winced a bit as Amie reacted a little [i]strongly[/i] to his drinking from the fountain, but he quickly straightened up to his full height from the fountain. This was just an upset mother, this was something he could handle, for sure. [color=309b75][b]“Did we wake you up? I am so sorry!”[/b][/color] He said, frowning in apology, [color=309b75][b]“I think I just got a little excited with how beautiful your home is, I really am sorry…”[/b][/color] He shook his head and stepped forward, holding a hand out to her. [color=309b75][b]“I’m Damian O’Connor, Joy’s, well, I’m her boyfriend. You might know my parents? Melody and Bryant.”[/b][/color] As Damian spoke, the little guy looked up at his mother. [color=008967][b]“Mommmyyyyyy, I want to play. With themmmmm.”[/b][/color] [color=309b75][b]“Amie — it is Amie, right? I think I’ve seen you and your husband on TV before! — how about this? Well, first off I just want to reiterate, I really am sorry we woke you up like that. That’s my fault, I should have been thinking about that… Anyway, what if Joy and I take the little dude from you, and you can go lay down in bed and get back to sleep? I promise I’ll have him back asleep in no more than thirty minutes. We can work everything else out in the morning.”[/b][/color] There was an unsettling moment of silence, minus the squirmy child in the mother’s arms. The O’Connor’s…. the O’Connors… familiar names, but why on Earth could she not put a face to the name? Granted, she did just woke up and her family knew far too many famous people. Bouncing her child in her arms, not yet ready to let him go, Amity corrected him, [color=40f45f][b]“Call me Mrs. Snyder until I am more familiar with you.”[/b][/color] As unwelcoming as she was being, she didn’t dislike the kid. He had to have some challenge in the family, though, rather than be instantly loved by [i]everyone[/i]. [color=40f45f][b]“Does Jude know? That you two are dating.”[/b][/color] Whoop, there it is. Joy’s mouth was dry. She wanted to say something, that would undoubtedly be a lie, but no words could come out of her lips. This was the night she’d die. Lying led to funerals and her auntie’s gaze, which was unusual for her, was putting chills up Joy’s spine. Damian decided to step in, figuring that Joy needed his help more. Besides, Damian was good at talking. [color=309b75][b]“Understood.”[/b][/color] Despite Amie’s outward unwelcomeness, Damian didn’t seem to be thrown off, or even slightly fazed. [color=309b75][b]“Jude doesn’t know yet. To be honest? We haven’t exactly had time to talk to her, [i]or[/i] Ender. There’s a lot going on at school right now, and I think I’m sort of dealing with the biggest bit of emotional turmoil I’ve ever had in my life. Joy’s helping me steady-up a bit, then I plan to talk to them. It goes both ways, though, my parents don’t know either… I think the only ones who know are you and your husband actually, Mrs. Snyder.”[/b][/color] Damian paused for a second, before pressing on, swinging the conversation away from the lie — which he’d done a pretty good job of covering up all things considered — and to something else, [color=309b75][b]“speaking of, where is your husband anyway?”[/b][/color] [color=008967][b]“Put me downnnnn.”[/b][/color] After taking in everything this boy had to say, Amity sighed in defeat and put her son down, [color=40f45f][b]“Getting drunk with the boys.”[/b][/color] Once her son was free, she brought herself upright and crossed her arms, [color=40f45f][b]“I should check on him.”[/b][/color] Sidetracking from the conversation, she called out, [color=40f45f][b]“Phillip, can I have coffee, please?”[/b][/color] If she was up for the rest of the night, might as well have caffeine. [color=dd6e61][b]“If you would please find your way to the kitchen, Miss, you’d find that coffee was put on when you were woken up unceremoniously by this scoundrel and young Joy.”[/b][/color] [color=309b75][b]“...I’m sorry, scoundrel?”[/b][/color] [color=dd6e61][b]“Correct. I meant what I said.”[/b][/color] [color=6175ff][b]“Phillip was the first Assistant ever made, therefore the most advanced, with intelligence to match his maker.”[/b][/color] Joy explained. [color=40f45f][b]“With just as much sarcasm and judgement too.”[/b][/color] Amie laughed. [color=40f45f][b]“Thankies, Phillip.”[/b][/color] A small glimpse of ‘happy Amie’ could be seen now that coffee was ready for her. Bringing her attention back to the kids, she nodded to herself, [color=40f45f][b]“I like your offer, boy. Put my child back to sleep and you’ll earn kudo points from me. For now, I’m going to get coffee.”[/b][/color] ...boy? Sheesh, this woman was one tough nut to crack. Rather than focus on that, though, he turned his attention to Ty. [color=309b75][b]“Do you wanna play with me again?”[/b][/color] He asked, kneeling down in front of him. The boy nodded excitedly, and Damian looked over at Joy over his shoulder, gesturing for her to come to him with his finger. [color=309b75][b]“I promise we’ll play nicely, Mrs. Snyder.”[/b][/color] [color=008967][b]“Nobody else has to call her that!”[/b][/color] [color=309b75][b]“Only slightly surprised, little dude.”[/b][/color] ...Amity watched as Joy followed Damian’s lead and her son questioned her antics. Of course he didn’t understand what she was doing, BUT, it had to be done. [color=40f45f][b]“No promises, just do.”[/b][/color] With that, Amie allowed her son to play with her intruders and irritatedly went to the kitchen, [color=40f45f][b]“Phillip, tell Lydia to postpone the press conference until Monday and then can you please, please, pretty please call my husband?”[/b][/color] [color=dd6e61][b]“Of course.”[/b][/color] The Assistant responded, while Damian looked at Joy. [color=309b75][b]“Okay, I have some things I need. I need a blanket — softer better — a TV with Netflix, three big pillows, and some chocolate milk. Preferably whole milk. I don’t know where anything is in this house.”[/b][/color] Damian explained, and the little guy smiled happily, pulling at Damian’s arm. [color=008967][b]“I know where a TV is! I watch Netflix a lot!”[/b][/color] He said, before Damian shrugged and stood up, following after him. While the boys went on the move, Joy looked back at her aunt who was heading toward the kitchen. Stopping her quickly, she gave her aunt sound words, [color=6175ff][b]“I know this is weird, and I’m sorry, but I can assure you, Damian is a good man. I’ll tell mommy tomorrow, you can bet on it. And... I’ll show you, you have nothing to worry about.”[/b][/color] [color=40f45f][b]“It’s not you I’m worried about.”[/b][/color] Amity gave Joy a reassuring smile, ruffling her niece’s newish red hair, before dismissing her, [color=40f45f][b]“My son wants you too. Go.”[/b][/color] Nodding to her aunt, Joy turned on her heel and ran off to the room the boys were heading to. Wait, Damian needs milk. She turned around and followed her aunt into the kitchen. In the kitchen, there were a few brief rings of a dial tone, before a voice spoke out. [color=008b8b][b]“Amie? Kitty?”[/b][/color] It was JJ, and he sounded out of it, at least. [color=008b8b][b]“I’m drunk. It’s loud here and I want to go home now. Come get me. Ty’s niece showed up in Ryan’s helicopter, and she’s drunk and ugly crying. I hate it. I thought I was done with crying teenage girls?”[/b][/color] [color=40f45f][b]“Okay, yeah, I’ll pick you up and you, Jericho, can explain to me why you’re opening our house to the whole goddamn world!”[/b][/color] Dramatic, but got her point across. Sorta. While Amity was on the phone, Joy quietly and awkwardly retrieved chocolate milk… the faster she went, the sooner she can be with Damian again. [color=008b8b][b]“...let me think.”[/b][/color] As it normally did, it only took JJ about half a second to think. [color=008b8b][b]“Joy and Joy’s boyfriend. I told Joy that they can come here anytime they want, and we won’t ask any questions. I said this because I love her and I want her to be safe and at least somewhere I know she won’t get in trouble or hurt, because she’s a teenager, and I remember when [i]we[/i] were teenagers and we were awful people. I know her mom and dad and I don’t want to bail Ender out of a murder charge —”[/b][/color] [color=40f45f][b]“WITHOUT TELLING YOUR WIFE?!”[/b][/color] Okay, this is where Joy left. Cranky Amie was not a fun Amie. Before she left, she placed the chocolate milk down, grabbed Amie’s mug, and put it near the raging woman, before making her exit. NOPE. [color=008b8b][b]“Usually we just agree on things? I didn’t expect them to just randomly show up in the middle of the night! I’m sorry, Amie, I should have said something. Don’t worry, I’ll give them a backdoor key.”[/b][/color] Grabbing her mug, she took a sip in it, mmmm, coffee, before pushing her anger aside, [color=40f45f][b]“I’m coming now. I’m just going to throw shoes on.”[/b][/color] Which meant she was going out with hardly any clothes on, eh, she didn’t care. She was tired and had to pick up her man. [color=008b8b][b]“Hot.”[/b][/color] Reaching the room, Joy slowly opened the door to get a glimpse of Damian and Lil’ Boss. Damian and the little guy were currently in the middle of what appeared to be vicious combat, with Damian on his stomach and Tyty on top of him, currently holding him in a headlock; though it wasn’t done very well, or locked in very tight. To his credit, though, Damian looked like his very lifeforce was being drained out of him, and Tyty was winning this battle. Unlike last time, where she joined in cheering, Joy took a seat on the guest’s bed, placed the milk on the nightstand, and observed quietly, with a faint smile on her face. What she didn’t realize was that face read that she was in love. In love with Damian O’Connor. [color=309b75][b]“Ya got me this time!”[/b][/color] Damian said, and the little boy giggled on his back. He quickly broke out of the hold and flipped onto his back, grabbing the boy and holding him up in the air as if he were going to bench press the little boy, though he paused when he saw Joy there. [color=309b75][b]“Oh! We have a visitor. And remember, honorably one on one combat can only be conducted when nobody else is there.”[/b][/color] Damian explained, as he sat the little guy down on the ground. Ty twisted his head to look at Joy, and waved. [color=008967][b]“Your man is very fun.”[/b][/color] [color=6175ff][b]“Too fun.”[/b][/color] Joy teased and then reached for the remote (preferring the old fashioned manual way of finding something to watch). [color=6175ff][b]“Okay, Lil’ Boss, whacha’ want to watch?”[/b][/color] [color=008967][b]“Dames says we should watch How to Train Your Dragon! Whoaaaaaaaaaaa!”[/b][/color] He said, as Damian scooped him up into the air, making a rocket ship noise as he put the little guy down on the bed, laying him down on his stomach. [color=008967][b]“Fun!”[/b][/color] [color=6175ff][b]“I’m surprised he doesn’t babysit.”[/b][/color] Joy looked at the television, typing the movie in the search bar with the remote, [color=6175ff][b]“You’re pretty good at this.”[/b][/color] Her tone softened, but her attention stood on the screen. It was so easy to categorize Damian into a one dimensional character, but really, he was good at a lot of things. He wasn’t just another jock. There was more to him than what he showed at face value. It was unfortunate the Weekend Warrior saw him as a cock tease and nothing more. [color=309b75][b]“I like kids! What can I say?”[/b][/color] Damian smiled at Joy, and kissed her on the cheek before he grabbed the chocolate milk and indicated for the little guy to sit back up. After he did so, Damian handed him the milk, and he drank it up, wiping his mouth. Damian put the glass away, and then laid down on his stomach on the bed, facing toward the TV, with Tyty laying down beside him shortly after. [color=309b75][b]“Can someone turn the light off?”[/b][/color] And then lights went off. [color=309b75][b]“This place is nutty…”[/b][/color] Following suit, Joy too laid on her stomach, the little dude in between her and Damian. [color=6175ff][b]“Yeah, it’s great, isn’t it?”[/b][/color] She smiled at her boyfriend and then added one last thing before bringing her eyes back to the screen, [color=6175ff][b]“Maybe I’ll give you a tour in the morning.”[/b][/color] [/indent]