Solae was stiff in Rene's arms; he could feel the tension in her shoulders as she struggled to keep her composure and conviction. As he had looked down at her, telling her it was his choice to come with her, she had stared at his chest for fear of meeting his eyes. Nobles had a reputation of having an iron mind. Once they set themselves on a course of action nothing save the Empress herself could convince them to alter their path. This was perhaps true for Solae in some scenarios, but Rene's voice and gaze was a weapon wielded unknowingly. 

His words were arrows to the heart. He joked, he dropped his voice from a yell to a gentle tone, and he appealed to her rational nature, but she knew he was hurt. Solae reminded herself that injuring him now was justified by saving him from the pain that the future inevitably held for them. She consoled herself with the fact that he was only insisting on protecting her because he felt a responsibility due to their connection, but it would fade if she could create distance. It was when he gingerly touched her chin, raising it upwards so that she could no longer avert his gaze, that she crumbled.

Tears formed in the corners of her eyes and slid down her cheeks. Rene brushed them away with his fingertips as concern edged his features. He had not meant to make her cry and it caused him distress to see her react this way. To see him care about her only made her more desperate to draw away. Solae took a few steps backwards until she hit a wall. The room was too small to get all that far away from her lover.

"You have to let me go, Rene. I am not as kind or selfless as you think I am. If you continue to hold my hand I won't have the strength to let you leave..." her voice cracked with emotion and then grew quiet. "You already saved my life, so let me protect you from myself, and from the nobility. You have to know if we're found you won't be able to escape the courts. Besides, the rebels won't kill me. I'll promise you to survive whatever they put me through."

And Solae would survive but not intact. She could be wed, impregnated, scarred, and psychologically damaged beyond all repair if and when the Empire liberated New Concordia from the leaders of the coup. She could not guarantee her state of being but that she would do all in her power not to die in the most literal sense. As long as her genetic code was necessary for communication arrays she would not be killed; and even then the Gids could find use for a pretty woman beyond their war. Genetic manipulation ensured a long life, ageing with grace and minimal negative effects, and retaining as much of her beauty as technology could allow. If Selene and Alyosha's parents were any indication her hair would turn white and wrinkles would be sparse. Enslavement for decades was not unfathomable.

"You know what I'm telling you is the truth. I'll be a Marquise unless I renounce it, and even then if I am rescued the Empress may reinstate it against my will. Rene, I can't subject you to that, not knowing..." she trailed off. Specifically naming the murder accusation was a step too far. "It's better this way, while I still can," she murmured to herself. It was obvious to Rene she was not talking to him so much as she was trying to convince herself.