[@SleepingSilence] 
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Ah, I need to clarify that when I said how I would write things wasn't meant as 'you have to edit this' kind of critique. I just wanted to show how I would have done it, since you used that piece to compare our writing too. And I wanted to show what didn't work for me because you asked if I felt that your part gave more vivid and interesting image than mine did. I didn't mean it to come across as critique with the suggestion to edit your story. 
I did say I admired your eloquence in the story, but some parts were perhaps a bit too smart.

I do think you should look at that paragraph about the paranoia. Maybe I was able to see the meaning of it, but I had to read it several times and I still have a hard time fully grasping the sentence starting with Paranoia. 

[quote]I sort of figured that would be the explanation. Though did you find the story mundane? Like a conversation you'd have with the misses about how'd your day went at work. Is that the style you wanted your story to go? 

Did you feel that your fairy tale story was satisfying? Or did you write it intentionally anti-climatic and unrewarding for a purpose? I don't mean to ask that in any particular way, but that seems to be what you're expressing. And I just wanted clarity...

You usually want to enthrall a reader in some way. Where do you think your story had it's greatest strengths?[/quote]

I did put this ending intentionally after contemplating several endings. Mundane isn't the word I would have picked myself, but basically yes, I wanted a simple story, one that could be told in a casual environment.  I didn't aim for an adult fairytale with drama and plot-twists, I wanted a folktale-like story with simple lessons like 'preparation is important' or 'life is filled with obstacles'. A story that could be enjoyed by adults who like folktales or silly stories, or children.
Since the prompt was to describe the scenery, something I know I need to practice more, I decided to submit a story that is only about scenery, no dialogue, no plot-twists, no character-building. Just 5 people going on a quest and one by one they have to drop out for simple reasons. I figured that it could be a more original approach to the normal storytelling where dialogue is an important aspect. 
The counting down, that's an element you mainly find in children's stories. Maybe I read too many of those books before writing this story XD
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[@BrokenPromise]

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[quote]There were some phrases that didn't flow very well. As an example,  “Mosquito’s saw in them an easy meal” could be changed to to “The mosquitoes saw an easy meal.” You also didn't use the plural form of  mosquitoes in that particular example. There weren't a lot of errors, but with it being so short, they become that much more critical.

As a joke you might tell a group of friends, I think it did its job. As a contest entry, it felt very low effort. The descriptions were brief. the fishermen had no real character to speak of. You get the idea. Those fisherman could have had a lot of interesting conversations about their scenery, but not a single word of dialog is spoken. Not to the reader, anyway.[/quote]

Thank you for your review.

I'll see about fixing the flow of the story.
I see I wrote Mosquito’s, that had to be Mosquitos, that's true. Also, when I looked it up on the internet it said both mosquitos and mosquitoes is acceptable to use, although the spellchecker of Chrome seems to think only mosquitoes is correct. Do you know if it's correct to use both or are they regional spellings?

I can see this story being told someone in the bar and then their friends laughing at the stupidity of the fisherman. Maybe it's something that could be told by a bard too.  
For the contest I aimed for a folktale/fairytale-like story, where I wanted to show both the scenery and a literary consistency by having all the fisherman fail the quest for non-lethal reasons, counting them down in the same way. And for those who want there's even morals to be found, although they're simple. 
So for this idea the lack of dialogue was intentional, as was the lack of characterisation. I wanted a certain simplicity here and give that folktale feel, but I understand it feels like low effort and I'm not certain how this story rates in the folktale category. 

I'll make sure to make something more substantial for the next prompt :) 
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