Brendon sometimes wondered in passing how the hell they were still like [i]this-[/i] ‘this’ being overly, ridiculously affectionate and mutually obsessed, the kind of relationship that seemed to be in its first few months, like a too-good-to-be-true honeymoon period, and Brendon, when he thought about it, kind of supposed it was. When they had first started dating, it was in ilvermorny- Brendon was trying to shake off the resounding, heavy impact of strict, bigoted religious parenting, and the subsequent internal homophobia that still crept up on him now and then, though he didn’t mention it. Ryan, on the other hand, was still going through a perpetual rough patch with his dad. This was about the time that they both declared their hatred for alcohol and alcoholics, not knowing that Brendon would be in the same position just a few years down the line and that one of his closest friends would also have the illness. The first years of their relationship were awkward and adolescent, though they had a bond strong enough that meant when Brendon had to move to the UK, it hit them both hard. Ryan stopped eating and became something of a ghost, and Brendon turned to the one thing he knew that people used to try and feel better; the same thing he’d sworn off in support of his first boyfriend.

After that, the main problem was obviously Brendon suffering from alcoholism, but with a little help from Joey he managed to get into recovery after a lot of coaxing. That’s where they were now- Brendon was struggling on, really, but he didn’t tend to talk about it if he didn’t have to. He liked it when Ryan didn’t have to come home and have that angry-sad-disappointed expression on his face, or worse, when Ryan’s face was completely blank. So it was the first unhindered chapter in their relationship, so they could be easily affectionate and never got bored of eachother and the place they’d always rather be was together, at home. This was almost the reason Brendon felt compelled to look nice (not compelled, really, he just wanted to), and why he spent just under an hour trying to preen himself into presentability. It worked, obviously, because when a newly returned Ryan finished kissing him... [i]Mission accomplished.[/i]

Brendon smiled, holding onto his boyfriend carefully because he was almost scared he’d push them both over, and kissed him again on the jaw, moving a hand to interlace his fingers carelessly with Ryan’s. He was about to suggest moving, but before he could say anything, Ryan actually lifted him into the counter and all Brendon could do was blink, wrapping his legs around Ryan’s waist with a grin once he’d recovered, though he still looked enamoured, inhaling sharply. [i]Two days.[/i] [b]”Two days too many,”[/b] He commented, raising an eyebrow, then biting down on his bottom lip to stop himself saying some things he had in his head that were way too dramatic considering the situation. [i]Imagine if I left for a week! You’d forget what I look like.[/i] Brendon scoffed immediately, tilting his head and studying his boyfriends face, trying not to focus too long on the eyes or he’d never look away. [b]”You better not leave for a week.”[/b]

[i]I should’ve stayed home.[/i] Brendon nodded vigourously, in full agreement- the past two days had been boring, and lonely, and Brendon would never get that time back. He hadn’t even seen Ryan on his birthday, technically. That sucked. [b]”You’re right. Think of all the things we could have done with that time.”[/b] That was an open-ended statement, and with Ryan in his current tipsy state, he wondered whether he’d get anything out of him regarding that. [i]No offense to everyone else’s plans, but. I much prefer you.[/i] Then they were kissing again, and Brendon tasted faint traces of whiskey again. He kind of pulled him as close as possible with his legs and reached up to move a hand into his curly hair, curling it around his fingers and then pulling just hard enough so Ryan could feel it.

They broke apart and Brendon reluctantly let go of his hair, just watched Ryan’s expression change intelligently. [i]Um.[/i] Brendon tried not to laugh. [i]So, you can't wear this if I ever have to, like, focus on something. Just letting you know in advance.[/i] He watched Ryan play with the hem, wondering what was going through his mind and deciding he’d find out. [b]"Maybe I’ll wear it especially on days you have to focus on something. A challenging element.”[/b] He paused. [b]”Hey, what are you thinkin’ about? Like, me, obviously, but specifically. I’m curious.”[/b] That was a baited question, really, but when Ryan told him he was gorgeous, he forgot all about that and melted a little where he sat, moving a hand to the back of his neck and coaxing him in again.