My vote goes to [@Vocab]'s "Nomen." I enjoyed the piece's creativity and intriguing writing style, and I think that the narrator—in being a bit harder to follow—was quite entertaining.

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The narrator seems to be intentionally choppy, but at the same time, some sentences can definitely be less choppy or interrupt the flow less. For one, the narrator knows how to use contractions, yet sometimes decides not to use them. For example:

[quote=@Vocab]
I try and write, but it is hard.
[/quote]
"It is" can simply be "it's" here, and it would smooth out a lot better in my head (so this might just be a nitpicky thing on my end, haha). If the narrator, being some sort of AI or machine-like learner, didn't use contractions at all, I'd understand the contraction omissions, but the narrator does use contractions, so—apart from some contraction omissions for dramatic effect or emphasis—I feel that flow could be improved by including more contractions.

Another thing is grammatical errors. Now, since the narrator would probably make errors too, given their learning style, all grammatical errors can probably be blamed on the writing style. Still, though, they interrupt the flow of the story, and I feel that excluding them—except, again, when they're needed for effect or emphasis—might prove better for readability and flow. Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

[quote=@Vocab]The people wasn’t happy[/quote]
I get that the narrator hasn't been exposed to words like "water" or "sun," but "wasn't" is an odd choice that seems unintentional. (This might just be an error, so pardon this particular example, but I maintain my point.) As another reviewer brought up, spellcheck would definitely help you cut these down, though this particular piece would be a headache even with spellcheck on account of the many intentional grammatical errors.

Also, I think I read in one of your posts that you rushed the end, but discovering the origin of the piece's title, "Nomen," was a tad disappointing. The last line fits, given the narrator, but, man, I was hoping it was the name of the person the narrator killed or something to the same effect. 

And that's about it. Loved the idea, neat story, and hope to read another at the next contest!

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