[@kalanggam]:

[hider]
[u]Overview[/u]: Startin' off by saying - the angst is palpable. Not that this is entirely a bad thing! Just figured I'd point that out before anyone else does :lol
ANYWAY, before I get carried away, let's delve into this:
In [u]General[/u], there are a couple tweaks that can be made in terms of punctuation, but other than those I have no grievances. Well done!
In [u]Personal[/u], motives are good, internal conflict is... fancifully worded, but exquisitely stated. Only question I have is, why work with the Dusthawks, whose primary goals are the acquisition of money, and not just the Resistance, which falls more in-line with Gal's motives?
In [u]Vocational[/u], consider shortening the occupation to just "messenger" or "underling" -- not that I think he isn't capable, but we've already amassed a good number of potential spies for the crew and I don't want to oversaturate the market. In his list of talents, where does the "smooth talking" trait stem from? From what I can tell in his bio, he appears to be too beside himself to be exceptionally well-spoken, and his "looks" will often warrant aggression from those with a distaste for half-breeds. This isn't so much a critique as just an observation, but the "gunslinger" trait feels like it could very well be split into two different traits, one based on his combat abilities and another on his handiness thanks to his father bringing him those complex toys when he was younger. The flaws are, *cough* flawless, as far as I'm concerned, though if you feel like you need to make any edits there, do so; same for equipment.
[u]Supplemental[/u] quirks are nice, so no grievances there. The next hider contains all of my discrepancies for the bio.
[hider=bio review]
While the bullet points here are mostly assorted in a general sense, I try to align them in some chronological fashion so you can see what I'm specifically pointing out as you read this alongside the biography. Also, a vast majority of these points will be questions that aren't so much for you to answer directly, but try and employ back into the writing.

- Perhaps detail what "Agoras" and "Cerad" mean - the elfen language is mostly extinct, for sure, and as such carry little meaning in modern life, but I'm not opposed to you coming up with definitions if you would be so eager
- How would you define Gal being "smarter than the average resident of Gray District"? Street-smarts go a long way down here, more-so than book-smarts -- be more explicit on this point
- Whaever became of his father's proposed "valuable asset" in Gal, by bringing him those curios? This seems to be a point that isn't much discussed outside of the bio save for his knack for collecting "random knick-knacks"
- Though not overly prominent, I found a couple incomplete sentences/phrases in his adolescent section -- wouldn't hurt just to go through everything and make sure to tidy up these spots
- The disownment was swift and sudden -- not bad, though it certainly felt a bit odd from a man who had worked so tirelessly to provide for this child before
- "Galinai became a drifter, [b]caught between [u]Shenuls[/u][/b]" -- not a major issue, tho consider revising into the literal "Upper and Lower Shenul"; having a plural-esque form of the section's name just didn't jive with me for whatever reason :P
- Again, why join the Dusthawks, and not the Lexian Resistance? This feels like a critical distinction, particularly with his motivation against the establishment. The Resistance would be all-too-eager to have another join their ranks, whereas the Dusthawks are more particular to see if Gal would have the Gall :D
[/hider]
I'm sure you'll be able to take all that and work with it swimmingly. Let me know if any assistance is needed, and I'll be happy to oblige!
[/hider]

[@Zverda]:

[hider]
[u]Overview[/u]: As you know, this will be an assessment of the entirety of her CS, outside of the bio. As such, I may be obligated to draw from the bio to better assess her talents, flaws, etc, but beyond that this should be pretty short.
In [u]General[/u], the "prefering to wear her wear down" sentence is incomplete, and there are a couple punctuation errors here. Make sure to have her appearance be more about her appearance, and less about her personality, but otherwise this section looks good.
The [u]Personal[/u] section reads as "Bersonal"? A bit odd there. Prime motive is a bit lengthy, see if you can shorten this down a bit. Also, it's difficult to accurately assess the accessory motive unless changes won't be made as drastically there. Internal conflict sounds good, just got some typo issues going on.
[u]Vocational[/u] reads 'Bocational' - are you joshin' me? Meanwhile, barring the comments made on her sister, "disguise" has some punctuation/hyphenization issues goin' on that could be looked at. "Acumen" and "social engineering" feel a bit wordy, so making them more concise would be good. Similarly, her flaws have some punctuation issues, as well as redundencies that could be cleared up. I don't think you iterate she hates politics enough (sarcasm), so you honestly don't need to harp on this point after it has been stated in numerous other spots. Also, be sure to maintain some formality in the writing here, as calling out to the reader and making exclamations really breaks the reading. Also, the "a bit too good" trait feels tacked on, and a bit unrealistic for someone so well-skilled at disguise.
Having a personal automaton is iffy. You'd have to clearly state what it looks like, how it functions, etc, and only then would I be able to tell you whether its a yay or nay. So for now, nay on that. Again with the formality, try and veer away from expletives in the equipment section.
[u]Supplemental[/u] looks like "Gupplemental" -- don't worry, I know exactly where that issue stems from since I've used this font before. Quirks are... Quirky? What's up with the human anatomy tidbit?

Overall, that's what I took away without delving into the Bio at all. I'm sure there'll be another assessment once you get the bio re-did, and I look forward to it!
[/hider]