[center][img]http://txt-dynamic.cdn.1001fonts.net/txt/dHRmLjMyLjA1NjYzZC5VMkZyWVcxdmRHOGdWR0ZrWVhsdmMyaHAuMAAA/kamikaze.regular.png[/img][/center]
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[center][color=gray]Time: 1 month prior graduation
Location: Tadayoshi's house[/color][/center]
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[i][color=556B2F]Today is going to be an important date,[/color][/i] Tadayoshi thinks before inserting his hand into a glove. The sound of the medical gloves stretches and contracts contradicted to the sound of the rain seeping through the cracks in the walls. Rain, for the inhabitants of Amegakure, is not something to be amazed to. They are used to the fact of being cold all days and how the humid would make the clothes to never stay dry. And for Tadayoshi, rain is just an ordinary friend. It is something that had never ceased to declare its existence in his life. It is everywhere, literally. From the cracks on the wall to the molds at the hallways, the rain feed them. But rain is not the only inhabitant in this house.

Outside, not far from his home, there lays a small ecosystem that Tadayoshi had recently made for his test subjects. Inside, 15 pairs of rats had been given a narrow area of a 300-meter square. They were strong, relatively quicker than its peers in the sewers, and have a much darker skin tone. But more specifically, their fast breeding rate is what makes them ended up here. 

 When the rain begins to pick up its tempo, Tadayoshi could hear the squirming sound coming from the rats' den. The image of 30 or more rats all in one place, climbing on top of each others' back might be a horrific image for those with a weak heart. But today subject is not about how visitors might be scared to their death by the messiness of the place nor how this house is falling apart. Today, Tadayoshi will attempt to take another being’s life. 

Now, the idea of taking another’s life is not something that Tadayoshi felt alien from. After all, training in ninja school means earning prospect in others’ lives and safety. But to think he would have to do it so soon, one more month until graduation is insane. Personally, Tadayoshi is afraid of death which reaches its heights after his mother died. To him, death is all that he stands against. The idea of nullifying all identities and utter destruction of one’s existence should only belong in a scaredy book for children. But death is real. And because of that, one of his greatest nightmares is always deal with death. 

Here he is, standing under the luminescent lamp, hands placed on his heart as he tries to calm himself but prove to be a futile act. His eyes lock on the beings that are secured on the medical table, whose body is struggling to break free from the chains. Its muscle tensed. Its disorganized breathing patterns. Its tail whipped everywhere it can. [i][color=556B2F]” It is futile,”[/color][/i] Tadayoshi whispered to the rat before placing his hand over its spine while the other hand moved the medical knife into proper position. 

Before the rat's eyesight was taken away, all it could see is dead. It muscle tensed. Its heart beats become even faster, racing like a young and wild horse on an open plain, quickly distributing blood across its body. And with each action the boy take, a loud and clear noise of the chain smashing against the metal table, its deathbed, echoes through the fallen house. Like a war drum, its belly rises and falls in a short tempo of quick and sudden rhythm. [i][color=gray]Break it, and I will be free[/color][/i] is all it could think of as its eyes follow sharply with every moves that the boy made. [i][color=gray]Faster[/color][/i], it thinks. [i][color=gray]Faster[/color][/i].

Capturing the mouse reactions to his touch, Tadayoshi begins to fear what he is about to do. It is not death that he is facing. Not the natural death that he is dealing with. No, he is witnessing an intentional death. Worse, he is committing it. The fact that he himself is accompanied by death begins pulling out his empathy for the mammalian. For this being, whose soul is trembling as it is chained to the table, he must be nothing more than a monster. An incarnation of death. The ender of happiness. The period to the present and the beginning of a sea of memories. The one that puts an end to its bored existence. In a sense, Tadayoshi wondered to himself, is he a god?

The idea of wielding such power frightened him, causing him to hesitate about what he might do. And doing what it must, empathy begins to kick in mind as Tadayoshi starts to give himself reasons for not to follow this path. [i][color=556B2F]Maybe I could do it tomorrow. Maybe I should ask the teachers for aid before doing this. Maybe I should release it. Maybe it also has a son to take care of. Maybe, it has a home to return to. Maybe, it has a wife. Maybe it has a twin, waiting for it to return home. Maybe, they are just outside the gate, waiting for his shadow to cast upon them and say that “there is no demon under their beds.” Maybe, his wife is sitting at a table with hot meals ready for him. For all one knows, it is worth to be released. [/color][/i]

Tadayoshi glanced at the rat on the table, who has not stopped its attempted in breaking free from the chains. [i][color=556B2F]Free…[/color][/i], Tadayoshi thinks longingly as he still tries to grasp the idea of dying for freedom. And that struggle for survival brings softness in his heart. 

Reaching for the shackle, Tadayoshi eyes came to a stop as he meets his mother picture. She was there when he is sad. She was there when he is happy. She was there, witnessing her son grow. Doesn’t he want her back? Did he want the memory to continue? Didn't his vow to bring her back mean to him something back then? Then, for what reasons cause him to flinch?

Struggling for what to do next, a sense of anger and confusion begins to appear in the boy’s mind as he looks for clues. The open note, the wet ink, the glimmering knife, all was prepared for this day. The subject had been secured. And there will be no consequence if he conducts his research on it. The being is unable to display any specific emotions. It does not even count as a conscious being for Christ’s sake. But still, something inside Tadayoshi held him back. 

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Tadayoshi didn’t know how long he had stood there, staring at the rat while placing the knife on its neck. But he didn't slice it open. Instead, he was hoping it would die on its own so that he would not feel so guilty in doing so. But against his expectation, the mammalian before him proves its impressive vitality. It has been too tired for this, after maybe half an hour or more of struggling to break free. But still, the rat shows no sign of giving up despite the shackle had carved some gaping wounds into its carpal bones. [i][color=556B2F]I shouldn’t have tied it so tight[/color][/i], Tadayoshi thinks as his body begins to slump against the wooden pillar. This noise. This stress. This builds up emotion in his chest. More than ever, Tadayoshi thinks he needs a rest. And so, as his eyes begin to close, the boy tiredly murmured to himself before falling asleep with a small sense of guilt in his mind. 

[i][color=556B2F]“I will do it tomorrow.”[/color][/i]

[hider= Summary] 
Tadayoshi planned to take a rat's life but failed to do so. 
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