It was different trying to act normal as ever when Brendon was looking right at him, so when he turned, Ryan lost his confidence, shrinking a little against the pillow scrunched behind him. [i]Well, there’s a first time for everything, right?[/i] Ryan's face remained the same but he could tell Brendon's smile wasn't anything close to genuine, all the self-assuredness in his features unreal. The longer Brendon looked the less welcome he felt - weird to think, because last night it was like all Brendon wanted was for him to stay around, and Ryan had been the one who wanted desperately to go. Not that he particularly wanted to be here now, although maybe if the circumstances were different and he'd woken up to kisses or any affection... it was a little dumb, but he'd just been thrown for a loop waking up to cold air and a sense of having done something very wrong.

It wasn't just the fact that he worked for Brendon, but even if they had no such reservations between each other he knew he still would've felt a little like the world was ending. Bizarrely, it was in this situation, where his feelings should probably have been dwindling, that he was only just coming to realize exactly how strong he felt about Brendon. It was unreasonable, really, because Brendon never actively gave him a reason to be this involved, and he even discouraged closeness beyond a point. Ryan wasn't usually so... susceptible. To avoid showing it out he just nodded absently at Brendon's words, knowing he should probably get moving but still not wanting to go. Ideally he'd be allowed to spend just a little time with him, coax everything back to normalcy after a very spontaneous night - if it was as spontaneous as it seemed, anyway - and maybe establish what exactly Brendon thought of everything. Was he going to be sick of Ryan after this, or neutral, or grow to like him in the same way...? Ryan wished for the latter, but Brendon kind of tossing him aside sounded more likely, just based on what he'd seen from him in the past.

He was twirling the sheets between his fingers uncertainly when Brendon spoke again, breaking the silence that ensued while he considered Ryan. Maybe that'd been his cue to go and he just missed it. Whatever - Ryan resolved to stretch this out as long as he could. [i]Anyway, morning. You slept late.[/i] Ryan's lips parted, hesitant, and then his clothes landed strewn out beside him. He felt pretty cheap, initial sense of unwelcomeness completely renewed. [b]"Morning,"[/b] he responded in a voice quieter than he'd used before, eyes stuck to the sheets he still had curled in his hands. He raised his head again, leaning back against the headboard to level his gaze with Brendon's. [b]"You could've, too. Come back, it's not like you have anything to do."[/b] He grinned with not a lot of confidence, a hand held out to present the empty space beside him. It wasn't that likely he'd take up the offer, or if he did oblige it'd be for a second at most, but. Ryan may as well just confirm what exactly the nature of their relationship was now.

Brendon met his eyes for once and Ryan did his best to hold it, sort of a deer caught in headlights more than anything else. [i]Don’t worry, you’re not fired.[/i] Off-guard, Ryan just squinted at him, brow furrowed. Sounded like Brendon seemed to think he wasn't at fault here despite being the one to initiate things, then. At a thought like that Ryan knew he was way too unreasonably aggressive, so he bit his tongue, staring on more comfortably since he had a fair amount of bitterness on his side. [i]Though I appreciate this was all a very thrilling risk for you. Worth it, though, right?[/i] Ryan laughed quietly, shaking his head a bit in disbelief at Brendon's angle here. Worth [i]what[/i]? Thinking about what more they could have, even more often than he already did? Last night just seemed to fuel his own dumb fantasies, how much he already entertained the possibility of them being together. He knew what Brendon meant, though, how he probably just cared about the fact that he'd successfully fulfilled an impulse. Or, anyway, that's what Ryan figured at the moment, when he was still mulling over how much it all meant to him and how Brendon was likely the opposite.

[b]"Yeah,"[/b] he answered softly, sounding a little sick. [b]"Thrilling."[/b] His attention dropped to his hands again, trying to ignore Brendon moving even minutely closer to him. [i]Let's do it again some time.[/i] Ryan's natural thought was 'why not just be exclusive so you don't have to call me up in some secret language,' but somehow he figured that wouldn't come off as very clear. Plus, any proposition like that, he knew, would just scare Brendon off. And... in all fairness, he was willing to continue whatever [i]this[/i] was if it meant he wouldn't just be forgotten about. That wasn't really who Brendon was, to cut people off heartlessly, but Ryan was assuming the worst nonetheless so that whatever happened, he was ready for. It dawned on him that it didn't really make sense for him to be mad at something that Brendon couldn't control - after all Brendon couldn't just [i]tell[/i] himself to let people in and explore relationships beyond the physical and superficial - so he forgot everything angry hanging on his lips, suspended every red emotion that he felt on reflex for now.

[b]"Some time,"[/b] he confirmed absently, leaning forward again and turning his clothes right side out, arranging them before him on the sheets. He skewed his face a little, looking uncertain. [b]"Just, um, if you ever want, like... more, that's. I'm open to whatever."[/b] He shrugged to punctuate all of his half-coherency, tiredly grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his arms. He realized belatedly how open-ended all of that sounded, and Brendon could easily just answer it however he wanted to avoid the concept of exclusivity. He could either clarify and corner him or specify and let him off the hook, and... the latter sounded more fair to him. He felt pretty shitty for even bringing it up, actually. [b]"Sorry, I don't know how this is- supposed to go. I'll just..."[/b] Leave, he guessed, so he edged to the side of the bed and pulled on his jeans, standing to button them. He left his shirt hanging open for the time being when he turned to face a wall mirror, trying unsuccessfully to sort his hair out. [b]"Call me if you need me, right?"[/b] Mostly he was still not that convinced Brendon would even want to talk to him again - even for work related matters.