Ryan knew it was naïve to believe Brendon might possibly stick behind just because he asked nicely. It's not like any of this was a real reflection of Brendon's character - Ryan couldn't blame him for something he'd been used to his entire life, something that was a learned and natural behavior that he didn't know any other way to go about. That didn't mean it wasn't frustrating as all hell, though. Partially, Ryan believed he was kind of obvious enough that Brendon would just notice and take pity on his petty infatuation, or if he didn't want to, then it was pretty easy to just have rejected him [i]before[/i] they'd slept together and saved Ryan some grief. But. That was a lot to expect of someone, really, and Ryan had never said a word about any of it - not to mention the fact that he gladly went along with the proposition the night before after a lot of waffling around. 

Even so, he kept on trying, no longer all that focused on the answer and more attentive to how Brendon's face changed and his body language. [i]Only if you’re still up for that round two.[/i] Still just seemed like he was amused by all of this. Ryan frowned at his back when he turned away, narrowing his eyes to train his gaze out the window. It was easier to try and turn sadness into anger in theory, but the more he tried, the more he realized there was really no way to put reason behind being mad at Brendon. He just kept on thinking about how he'd never had any kind of emotional ties with [i]anyone,[/i] probably not even really his family, and so it kept on making sense why he pushed people away (even Ryan). More than anything Ryan was kind of mad at everyone and everything that played a part in making him like that.

[i]Nah, seriously. I’m thinking about it. Why bother go out, see another person and have to go through the whole date process to get laid, when I have better and easier options?[/i] Ryan brought his attention back from the window, tilting his head curiously. [b]"Easier?"[/b] Ryan asked, amused - completely skimming over the 'better' part - and then shrugged a little. [b]"Guess you're right. I was here, like, twenty minutes at most, before."[/b] He smiled slightly, less uneasily, 'cause although it was embarrassing as hell and kind of hurt his pride to admit, it was getting gradually easier to take everything less seriously. And somehow the way that Brendon could approach all this semi-playfully took some of the edge off; his natural liveliness radiated off of him. Ryan wondered how genuine it was at the moment, though, if maybe he could sense the tension from Ryan himself and was impacted in some way. Probably not - Ryan had always seen him as untouchable anyhow, entirely unfazed.

[i]Don’t get all fuckin’ shy on me now, baby. Bit late for that, right?[/i] Ryan couldn't help looking hopeful again at the use of what appeared to be his new pet name, an expectant smile touching his features uncontrollably. He bowed his head to hide what was probably the most guileless expression ever, occupying himself with redressing, because letting Brendon on to even more knowledge of the effect he had on Ryan was probably not a good idea. There was nothing to [i]do[/i] with it, really, but he knew he'd feel an even heavier imbalance of power here if Brendon got that satisfaction while he was still stuck feeling entirely displaced. He tried to play it back regardless, his sense of humor not really up to par at the moment but engaged anyway. [b]"Shy? I'll remind you [i]I[/i] was the top,"[/b] he said brazenly, standing straighter and arching an eyebrow at Brendon. Kind of funny to use that defense when he'd been very much the more docile of the two of them this morning, but.

As if to counter that fact, he moved forward to fix Brendon's uncharacteristic bedhead, which was very obviously not received well. Truthfully, Ryan expected nothing less; part of his approach stemmed from him just wanting to act on impulses he'd had countless times before, part was because it would definitely annoy Brendon and he couldn't come up with another way to match how irritating Brendon had been thus far. Lucky for him, Brendon didn't immediately snap - though maybe getting anger, some kind of emotion, would have been better than not. [i]Please don’t do that again. You either pull it, or don’t touch it. No inbetween.[/i] Ryan knew the one he was looking at was a forced smile but he still grinned back, more comfortably than he ever had since he'd woken up, and returned his hand still hovering back to just briefly tug a few strands whilst replacing them, then dropping it. [b]"Happy? I'll do better later."[/b] So it kind of hurt his chest. But he was getting better at playing along, somewhat. [b]"Besides, I fixed it. You look cute."[/b] There's a new one - let him subsist off of 'cute' rather than other, more grandiose terms. Maybe Ryan could coax him into some sense of normalcy.

[i]We’re going to some fancy restaurant.[/i] Disinterested - or willing himself to be disinterested, anyway - Ryan blinked and bowed his head to start buttoning his shirt, disengaged with whatever tangent Brendon may go off on. [i]And for your information, it’s a very fucking nice suit. And you get the privilege of seeing me in it first, if you so wish.[/i] [b]"Privilege."[/b] Ryan had just looped through the middle button when he glanced up to roll his eyes at Brendon. But he was pretty much right; Ryan would actually love that. Not that he'd admit it, anymore. [i]Like I just said. Restaurant- remember that one where you yelled at me for spending $25 on a sandwich from the lunch menu?[/i] Ryan nodded absently, still mostly making sure he hadn't missed a button somewhere and messed up the entire arrangement. [i]Yeah. Then, hopefully, the lucky girl will get lucky, just like you did.[/i] Although he, too, had pretty much touched every base, Ryan sort of cracked up at the words '[i]lucky girl,[/i]' even more amused by the thought of Brendon in any vaguely heterosexual situation than he was by Brendon's arrogance with '[i]just like you did.[/i]'

[i]Don’t worry, don’t get jealous. There’s enough of me to go around, has been for years.[/i] Ryan pursed his lips and raised his chin a bit while he finished the second-to-topmost button, becoming conscious of their height difference himself when he briefly could barely keep Brendon in sight. To fix the problem he tipped a finger under Brendon's chin for half a second to encourage him looking up, bowing his head in counterpoint, and admittedly he may have lost his already thin patience a little. [b]"'[i]Don't get jealous[/i],' my -"[/b] Ryan broke off, deciding he was less bothered by how Brendon's words implicated Ryan than he was by how Brendon was sort of, probably unintentionally, degrading himself. [b]"Okay, but, you don't have to keep giving yourself away. It's not safe, first of all, and you've clearly deprived yourself of any emotional connection..."[/b] He trailed off, questioning how welcome his input was, and decided probably not at all. Too late. [b]"And, yeah, deprived [i]yourself.[/i] If you let anyone in then you'd know that you're -"[/b] Ryan paused again, throwing a shoulder up as if he hadn't been thinking this forever, as if it was a new passing thought. [b]"That you're worth caring about, I guess. And not just [i]enough to go around.[/i]"[/b] 

Ryan instantly felt the weight of a very poor decision and backed off after a moment of mulling it over, looking around the room. [b]"Shit, I'll go. I'm sorry,"[/b] he said with clarity, finding his coat where he'd laid it out and hanging it over his forearm. In what was evidently a rush to get the hell out of there before Brendon, like, sicked his dad on him or something, Ryan stopped, looking at him uncertainly. He didn't really wanna leave in case Brendon just spiralled because of him. [b]"Fire me, or whatever. I just wanted to say that to you, once."[/b]