[hider=PDA 2 - "Bimmy and Jimmy"][center][img]https://i.imgur.com/INnXok7.png[/img][/center]

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A nickel ain’t worth a dime. A dime ain’t worth a quarter.

And no coin was worth a hundred bucks of Lien.

So what was the problem of losing a couple of bucks?

[i]Everything,[/i] of course.

No man became rich because they never bothered to pick up their coins. A man can only become rich if they [i]knew[/i] money, and just how to catch it. What would you call a generous man who had a goal to achieve but also provided money to others when they desperately needed it?

The best tool ever that the Phantom would immediately take advantage of.

“I hate the military.”

Turning to the Phantom, his armored friend, Thebes, raised an eyebrow, staring at the carapace-covered man through his helmet.

“I’m just tired of it, I dunno. I feel like we don’t-“

“We’ve already gotten over this, Phantom,” Thebes answered simply.

Staring at Thebes with an unamused frown, the Phantom clicked his tongue as he muttered, “If you were any closer I’d mess you up real bad with this screwdriver on my table, here.“ He then yawned loudly as he leaned against his office chair.

The office chair unfortunately snapped as the Phantom fell back, letting out an instinctive battle cry before he hit his head against the floor.

“DAMMIT!”

Thebes did not look up from his newspaper as the Phantom got up, a knife sticking out of his carapace-covered forehead. Shaking his head, the roach froze before plucking the thing off his head.

It was covered in blood, yet somehow it wasn’t his.

“Oh, well, what is this?” The Phantom sang in falsetto as he tip-toed over to the restroom, which had its door torn straight off due to wear and tear. As he turned on the sink, he began cleaning the knife as Thebes let his head sink between his shoulders. “Boy, oh boy, this is the only knife available in our office! It’d be terrible~ if word got out that we love tap our suspects!”

“…Love tap,” Thebes repeated, finally looking up from his newspapers.

Peeking out of the restroom, the Phantom shouted angrily, “Hey, if you didn’t shank the guy, covering it up would’ve been much easier!”

“Um,” the armored man pointed out, “I attacked in self-defense. And [i]YOU[/i] started kicking the guy’s manhood to see if he was alive.”

“Excuse me, it’s AFTER he died,” the Phantom added in, walking out of the restroom with a cleaned knife. “I don’t do that to Bimmy and Jimmy unless I’m unsure if they’re awake. I leave at least some grace to people who die when they’re killed.”

Confused, Thebes asked, “Wait, didn’t you actually [i]burn[/i] someone? How’s that supposed to be graceful?”

The Phantom blinked as he put up a thoughtful look, trying to remember the event in question.

“Ah.”

He then remembered.

It had been during the incident where they were trying to find some kind of rapey dude in Vacuo. When they managed to catch the guy, who turned out to be a chameleon Faunus, they found him at a blacksmith shop. The blacksmith had been out for whatever reason the Phantom forgot about, but Thebes most likely remembered. The rapist threatened to kill the blacksmith’s daughter if they moved.

Of course they moved.

Like, the hell was he going to do if he hurt her instead of them? She wouldn't even have the time to get hurt, considering both Thebes and the Phantom were lightning fast at what they did. It was all fun and games with making the guy cry until he started begging for mercy. Ignoring him, the Phantom tried to pull off a carry-and-drag wrestling move on the criminal, but he accidentally crashed into a furnace and got stuck until he melted the guy’s body apart.

The blacksmith’s daughter screamed and fainted when she saw the sight, though they managed to convince her that she hallucinated about the criminal dying and that he was actually in jail.

Then the Phantom realized why Thebes said what he said. And he didn’t need to say it further.

“Uh,” the Phantom began. “Hm.”

He then felt a lightbulb activate above his head as he suddenly shouted at Thebes, “IT WASN’T ON PURPOSE!”

It was the ultimate truth, yet also managed to be horse shit. Thebes rolled his eyes as he sighed. The Phantom smiled triumphantly as he put the knife on his table. “Heh, heh, heh,” the Phantom mused with a sly grin. “We've been pretty darn busy these days, now that I think about it. We’ll be rich in no time… if we stop wasting our money like we’re fucking ten-rolling for guns and ammunition.”

Indeed! Their path to riches did seem like a plausible theory after all, if they kept this pace. A moment later, however, the Phantom froze right before he took a bite off his rotten apple.

“Wait. Thebes.”

“What?”

Turning to Thebes, the Phantom said, “I just remembered a naughty joke I heard from someone on that day.”

[i]Meaning that you made it yourself,[/i] Thebes thought to himself, though he kept quiet about it. The Phantom seemed pretty excited to share his joke.

“What is it?” Thebes asked.

“What do you call passionate Faunus love?”

A thoughtful look crossed Thebes expression, though most of it was masked by his helmet. He then responded, “Love birds?”

“WRONG! They’re [b][u]fucking rabbits.[/u][/b]”

[h1]“[b][u]Can you don't.[/u][/b]”[/h1]
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