[@Letter Bee] Ashton Andrews. That's an awesome name, it really rolls off the tongue. My first impression is that he's a Paladin type of character, similar to Reinhard van Astrea from the anime. I foresee him being a strong fighter; and a pivotal ally for the main cast. I mentioned that I'll be a little pickier with characters who have these abstract magics or special traits, so there [i]are[/i] some things I'd like for you to touch up before the roleplay starts. I'll highlight them here. [hider=Character Review] [b][color=lightsteelblue]Ashton Andrews Review[/color][/b] [hr] [quote=@Letter Bee] [b]Yang[sub]Jiwald[/sub][/b] [/quote] The sub part is only there to clarify that it's magical affinity. I kind of like the way you did it, but it does look a tiny bit odd. [hr] Description looks good, although there is one thing that I'll mention in a little bit. [hr] Personality is fine :p. Personality sections are really one of those things that I hate to critique, I mean, what am I gonna do, tell you to make a character that acts differently? That would be pretty silly I'd think. [hr] [quote=@Letter Bee] He also began memorizing books of science and technology, economics and history, in order to compose, in his lesiure time,[b] 'A Guide to Surviving in Another World'[/b]. Just something to amuse himself with while waiting for formal studies as a animal medicine. [/quote] [b] M E T A [/b] backstory. Lol. Now, this is something that I'm willing to accept, but I'd like to know the implications of his study of Isekai. What does this constitute within Roleplay? Is it only schematics to certain technologies that won't be available? Or is it a more general survival guide, such as how to find fresh water. Either way, this has the potential to be a powerful tool, so I'd like it to have clear 'parameters'. Otherwise, that's an excellent backstory. It's a little sad actually, when you imagine what's to come. He was so satisfied with his life :P. [hr] [quote=@Letter Bee] [center] [u][b] Magics [/b][/u] 100 [/center] [/quote] Hold on a moment. I'd like to clarify what something like this would mean. Take Roswaal L Mathers, the lord of the Roswaal mansion. This man is so powerful that the Kingdom of Lugnica recognizes him as an army. According to the author, he is the second most potent magic user in the whole series. The first one would be a 100. This man, who is recognized as an army, would probably be a 90 on this scale. Now, if your character was primarily a mage, I would be perfectly fine with having a super powered wizard. However, as it turns out that is [i]not[/i] the case. Ashton actually has several powerful abilities or weapons in this world. On top of that, it's stated in the description that he has [quote=@Letter Bee] this Blessing also allows him access to two magical daggers and [b]basic Yang Magic[/b] [/quote] Only basic yang magic? With that level of talent, I'd expect one of your buffs to make people walk on water and then turn around and make the whole lake into wine. Based on the rest of your sheet, there's actually a bit of dissonance I think between this rating and what you want your character to be. If he has his ideal form, then does he even really need this level of talent with magic? Let me just explain my perspective, so you can understand why this is an issue. This character has an insane talent for magic, a top tier divine protection, and a guide to exploiting his status in a new world. In other words, you have to admit that this character is pretty overpowered. I'd hate to sound too critical, but if I were to accept this character at this level, he might end up with a [url=http://isekai-smartphone.wikia.com/wiki/In_Another_World_With_My_Smartphone_Wiki]certain infamous isekai protagonist[/url]. I'd recommend halfing that value. He'd still be way above average as a mage, but it will rein in his ability to a reasonable amount. Also, please specify which type of magic he'll be using. Typically, people don't use both types. [hr] Abstract Magics. This is fine, provided you make the change I've specified above. I love the theme with the daggers, but the light magic is a [i]little[/i] bit of an issue. In this world, light magic isn't the type of thing that you can use to blast people with, or make shields. Yang magic is used to apply buffs to people, like making them resistant to fire or increasing their strength considerably. [hr] Otherwise, I love your character! I think he'll be awesome to play with and an excellent first character for our cast; as long as you fix those things I mentioned. Thanks for applying! [/hider] [@Duthguy] Stay interested! If your ever confused about any lore, feel free to ask me :P. [@catchamber] Awesome! I hope I'm able to keep it. [hr] @Everyone This roleplay will be taking off on Wednesday, when I will post the OOC. For now, opinions on a discord for casual conversation?