Here's Sagax's modern AU, as a super hip and cool skater boi

[hider=Sagax Speculatus' Underground]

"GERONIMO!" It was a bird! No, a plane! Wrong again, it was the Stupendous Sagax, flying high towards victory on his skateboard with purple flame patterns and bright green wheels. He was starting simple for this trick, doing three horizontal spins before landing back on the ramp, flying past his friends as he twirled on one wheel, landing back on all four before hitting the next halfpipe. Mounting the edge for a grind, Sagax slid a few feet before kicking off, now simply going back and forth between the ramps as he built up speed. When he thought he had enough momentum, Sagax crouched low on his board to limit his air resistance. Just before reaching the next halfpipe, he threw his cap up high in the air, almost fifteen feet or so Sagax judged. Perfect.

Up he went, straight into the air with laser precision. He dismounted in mid-air, grabbing his board with one hand and spinning slowly. As soon as he met it, Sagax snatched his cap before falling down, slapping it back on and remounting just in time to touch down on the ramp. He then proceeded to ride in a circle standing straight up, bowing in a smug display of self-satisfaction to his applauding audience. Yeah sure, they only numbered about twenty and most were his friends, but still, praise was praise.

"Dude, sick! Little bro's been dying to see that one, man." Came Frank. He was a good dude, brought up by good people. His brother, Rick, wasn't all that talkative, but he was a nice kid. Liked to watch Frank and the others ride; he was only five and his mother wouldn't let him get on a board. Fortunately, Frank and Sagax were both in their twenties, officially considered adults, so she trusted them with Rick.

"Bah it was nothing..."

"Oh come ON, bro, nothing? That was some Tony Hawk shit you pulled! Seriously, how do you make it look so easy?"

Sagax just shrugged. "Dunno, man. Think I just got a gift s'all. Besides dude, I've been doing this since I was fourteen. You just started!" He was about ready up for another ride, but was interrupted by his own rumbling stomach. "Shit, I'm starving...we should get some grub."

"Pfft, like where? We don't exactly got much cash right now." Valorie chimed in. There we dark bags under her eyes, which themselves were tinged with red. She was either on something or stayed up all last night playing one of her online games. Neither would have been out of the ordinary. "Can't just pull up the console out here."

"Hm...hey, those vending machines by the entrance still work don't they?"

"Yeah, why?"

With a sly grin, Sagax signaled for the three to follow him. Of course, he didn't leave before waving to his crowd and giving out a few high-fives. Soon, a young upstart took Sagax's place in the middle of the makeshift arena; he wished the girl good luck as she passed.

"So, anyone got any quarters?" Asked Valorie. Then she noticed Sagax was kneeling in front of the coin slot, hands fiddling with something. "Hey! The fuck are you doing?"

"Oh, me? Nothing."

"Right, sure. Whatever you say, Garrett." Sagax couldn't help but smile at that. He always loved those games, though if he really was good as Garrett he wouldn't need to work as a UPS driver.

Frank clucked his tongue and shook his head at Sagax. "Dude, if your sister knew you were still pulling these tricks..."

"She ain't gonna know..." he responded, only half-listening. Man, getting a vending machine open was hard work, needed a lot of focus. Why'd they have to make them so damn secure?

"I just don't see how you aren't scared of Piper, man. 'Cause she can go zero to a hundred real fast. I know I wouldn't ever want to mess with her, she'd rip me in half!" 

"Man...she's hot, though." Frank added with a sigh of defeat. He tried getting with her before, and Piper let him know exactly how far out of her league he was.

"And if my sister knew you were still talking about her like that-"

"DUDE! Don't even joke! I ain't even gonna be able to sleep tonight now...might not wake up tomorrow."

Finally, after minutes of fumbling around, Sagax heard the telltale [i]clunk[/i] of the latch flipping up. Looking around him, Sagax saw no witnesses, and he knew for a fact there were no cameras in that relatively dumpy section of the public park, so it was safe to pop the machine open.

"Mmh...I love bad boys." Purred Valorie.

"You love anyone that gets you food." Frank scoffed.

"Now that ain't true, Frank. They have to be cute first!"

Once they all grabbed what they wanted(within reason; the key was to not take too much), Sagax closed the machine back up, making sure to lock it. Didn't want anyone to have a reason to be suspicious. 

Looking up, the group saw the sun had reached the top of the sky, and that sadly meant it was noon. All the "Normies" and their brats would be coming any minute to take over the park like they always do. More kids meant more park police, and that meant less fun to be had.

"Hey, I'm gonna head off now. My only day off this week, so I want to spend as much as I can of it in an air-conditioned apartment." Sagax said as he mounted his skateboard once more. "I'll catch you guys around later. Peace." He kicked off with a wave and rode on back home, leaving the others to their own devices. He hadn't been able to play Team Fortress 2 much, and Sagax figured there were a lot of backs that needed stabbing, and sentries that needed sapping. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea.

[/hider]