[i]Very, darlin’.[/i] Ryan could've died. [i]Darlin'.[/i] He'd had more heart beats in the past twenty-four hours than he'd had his whole life. [i]Oh, by the way, uh. You’ve got hickeys. You’re welcome.[/i] Ryan looked at him curiously then turned to the mirror on the wall Brendon was so often occupied with, stretching up just enough to see the bruises in question. He placed his fingertips over them lightly, like he was painting the colours himself, and remembered every sensation all at once. His expression softened without his conscious control, smiling a little at the thought that Brendon would be with him even when he wasn't really there because of these. And, sure, hickeys were trashy, but he kind of adored how they looked on him when Brendon was responsible. Ryan relaxed, dropping his gaze from the mirror and smiling down at his hands while he tried to at least look distracted.

Ryan had a knack for ruining moments like that in record speed, however, and this was exactly what he did. [i]How is it [/i]not? [i]If you actually cared so much about my safety or integrity or whatever, you wouldn’t have, y’know, fucked me last night.[/i] Ryan's brow furrowed, utterly confused by how they could be on such different pages here. Then, his input wasn't really invited in the first place, so it's not like they'd ever been on the same track. [i]The only reason you’re saying that is you’re disappointed I didn’t intend for us to cook breakfast in our underwear or whatever bullshit fantasy you’re playing out in your mind.[/i] Embarrassed, Ryan's face flushed slightly, and he shook his head dismissively. [b]"No, Brendon. I do care. I just don't intend on hurting you, so I didn't think I was infringing on your safety or integrity or [i]whatever.[/i] Can't say the same for everyone else who ends up here."[/b] It was a little late for that, though, because he evidently already had hurt Brendon without meaning to. 

The worst part was, he'd probably been one of the few people Brendon didn't think would ever do that. Ryan felt a wave of frustration with himself before shaking it off, focusing on the situation at hand. [b]"And - and that's not my [i]fantasy,[/i] don't be so goddamn arrogant."[/b] Although Brendon had a fair point. Ryan was a little bit of a fairytale writer in his head. [i]Ryan, I called you at 3 in the morning because I intended on sleeping with you.[/i] Ryan paused, blinking at him, expression gone blank. [i]It’s not a difficult leap. It could have been practically anyone else- you were at the top of my recent contact list.[/i] Anyone else. The mental fairytale was dead by now, they were just beating it with sticks. Ryan opened his mouth as if to respond but immediately closed it again, at a loss. [b]"Okay, well,"[/b] he said softly, hesitant. [b]"I'm sorry it wasn't someone better, then."[/b] He really needed to get home.

Ryan watched him chug down wine, trying to conceal the worry on his otherwise tired face. Sometimes he really hated that Brendon drank when he wasn't just partying - and this time Ryan was the cause. [i]I keep myself fulfilled, Ryan.[/i] Ryan followed his gesture and frowned, bowing his shaking head. [i]Material pleasure is fulfilling for me. Last night was a handy refill.[/i] [b]"Glad I'm convenient enough for you,"[/b] he said calculatedly, knowing all of this was way too guilt-trippy when Brendon was probably not knowingly toying with his feelings and it was just his routine, but. It was all unfamiliar territory for Ryan, too, and half the things coming out of his mouth had little thought behind them. He turned to watch as Brendon returned to his bed, clearly already exhausted by the day's events so early on.

[i]You don’t have to [/i]worry, [i]Ryan. I’m not your boyfriend and I never will be.[/i] Ryan stared at him, stunned by how quickly he'd [i]known[/i], and also by how much he didn't care at all how Ryan felt. He'd maybe appreciated having been rejected more carefully. No such luck. Anyway, the statement itself was nothing to be mad about; Ryan hadn't asked or anything, but it was Brendon's choice nevertheless. He was just let down by how Brendon was acting about it. You [i]just have to do what I tell you to do- and I’m asking you, no, telling you, to get the fuck out. I’m not going to fire you, but I might [/i]kill[i] you.[/i] [b]"You have about as much compassion as a brick fucking wall, you know,"[/b] Ryan mumbled, feeling silly saying all of this while still looking like he was caught in the midst of a walk of shame. [b]"Fine. I'll go. Next time you could let someone down easy. Just saying."[/b] He took his sweet time walking to the door, checking his pockets along the way to ensure all was there. [b]"I know you're not familiar with the concept of, like, friendship, but I'm still going to worry even if I'm not your boyfriend. Thought I should clue you in."[/b] And he still cared despite the arguing, but it was kinda bad timing to admit that.