[center][h2]My Final Thoughts[/h2][/center]

[@LemonZest1337]

[quote]Species: Dhampir: Dhampirs work a little differently than a normal vampire. First off is their ability to withstand sunlight, though it still burns their skin terribly and hurts to stand in for long periods of time, it won't ultimately lead to their demise on its own. But their skin isn't the only thing sensitive to light, their eyes are also sensitive to light, this is both a perk and a hindrance.[/quote]

A balanced Species overview. I have nothing further to say, as I will not ask for a revision, because I believe this species overview serves it purpose. However, for future advice, it would also have been nice to dive into Dhampir "culture". In Pathfinder they would be described as nomads drifting from town to town. I tried not to give too much in hopes that you would play around more with the concept. This is suitable and fine, a little bit of advice for later on to flesh out the prospects of his adult life.

[quote]
Description: Archibald Insists on wearing simpler cheap clothes, not getting the whole deal with fancy clothes. Although he's a Dhampir his appearance is on the human side lacking any actual hint of being half vampire. He is a rather small boy for his ages, only being 133.6cms tall and weighs about 20 kilograms. Any trinkets he carries are either on his belt or in his backpack.[/quote]

Short and sweet. The picture serves to highlight and portray the character, though there is more to a character than just sight, but sound as well as the way they smell. Again passable, but for the future try to get into more than just the surface and use the appearance to highlight the five senses of appearance. The way someone smell reminds us just as much features of them as the physical.

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No complaints from me. He feels his age. Encompassing in that I see no problems with his Skills either, they seem appropriate for his age.

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I have nothing to say about his battle profile either. It feels appropriate for his age, I like the fact he does not have a designate style of training. It is fitting and suitable.

[quote]Lesser Spells[/quote]

I feel like he could be powered up just a little. Tap and Water bomb are suitable. And I like them. But I feel;

Bucket:This spell allows you to control a small amount of water, it's a weak form of hydrokinesis. It's applications are mainly supportive things, but it can be used to dump a decent amount of water on a target, provided water is present to be used. 

Is redundant with water bomb and you can by the third spell give him a little bit of more power with this spell. 

Intermediate skills and misc battle information seems reasonable and suitable to me. I like both. I have no comments.

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I will be frank and say that this is probably the weakest element of the sheet. While it is written concisely and cohesively. I wish there would have been more effort to have been made. An exchange of how Arcadis and Viola met. You could have taken the opportunity to write their history and end it on leaving Archibald. I wish there had been more. That you played more, used this section to your advantage. Otherwise, it is nice and concise, and it simplicity also serves it purpose. So for that I praise it.

Overview; I think Archibald is a wonderful character. You have managed to capture what a 10 year old is, not just what a 10 year old feels like that. With that I feel like Archibald will serve the team well enough. The only revision you need to change is Bucket, to give him a spell with a bit more bite.

Verdict: Accepted per the change in the spell section

[@Akayaofthemoon]

[quote]Species
Half Celestial - One of many different types of non-human beings who share the godlike/holy characteristics of being more powerful, longer-lived, and, in general, much happier than humans. They tend to live peaceful lives, never staying in one spot long as they love to wander and fight of dark souls that come along their paths to protect others. They grant wishes and miracles to those that are in need though they are rarely seen. Those that have seen Celestials describe them as soft and calming, giving a sense of peace even in the darkest of times to those that are near. Their smell changing to suit each person's senses and always seeming to draw the light to them. They can have up to six wings in total, three pairs each, but each extra set it earned with time and the wings are almost always the palest of colors with accented tips. The most common being white with golden tips.[/quote]

I have the same general advice. While the description serves it purpose. I wish there had been played around with more. Create a Goddess. Also you forgo abilities of the species, so I am a little uncertain of what they do. I would have given them Disease Resistance, makes it harder for them to get sick. A spice up. This is optional changes. I am not asking for these changes. I wish to have seen more and to have their own feel.

[quote]Description
The sounds of a rippling stream echoed through a silent forest. The night air bringing a slight chill from the gentle summer breeze which carried with it the pleasant smell of pine. The shadows danced in the light of the moon as the trees shifted in the wind, fireflies twinkling their own luminescence to chase away any fear of the darkness along the narrow path. The dried needles on the forest floor crunched under each step forward with no destination in hand but the hope for a clearing to appear along the way. As if your prayers had been heard, the illumination of pure moonlight showed ahead which were the telltale signs of an opening in the vast amount of trees that made up this forest. A rush of excitement flooded your being and your pace quickens from the relaxed one that you had been content with earlier.[/quote]

I had a lot of fun plotting ideas with you. And what you took from that plotting is a beautiful prose. I have to say that I adored every minute of this description piece. You have the talent and the strength to create this beautiful imagery alongside this beautiful energy. I have to say this is my favorite appearance description in a long time. Kudos.

[quote]She is calm in the face of adversity. When presented keeps calm and focuses on the issue.[/quote]

Could be written; When in the presence of adversity she keeps calm, and focuses on the issue.

Struck out to me as a little awkward to read. 

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Otherwise I have no other comments. It is a pretty good run of the mill personality. I enjoyed it, it was a lovely read. Again you have a great knowledge of word usage. Which I like. I wish more of Astraea stood out to me to make her more of a whole person. She feels one note to me. Again it is an optional revision from me. I wish she had something that would make her stand out, prejudice maybe against those that judged her, maybe she does get violent with injustice as we are discussing in the discord. 

Skills look fine. They are reasonable to who she is as an individual. I have no comments.

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Perfect. Love it all. I have no other comments to make about this section. It is short and too the point. Which can be good sometimes. Love it.

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All seems good. I have no comments about this section. It all works together. Good job.

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It is this and your appearance that stood out to me in the most in your sheet. I love both. They are elegant. They paint a beautiful picture and I really have nothing to say about your tale. Because I quite frankly enjoyed reading every moment of it. 

Overview; Astraea looks like she will be a good sensible ground for the character. I enjoyed your sheet and do not have any revisions for you other than optional revisions that you may ignore.

Verdict: Accepted

[@deadpixel101]

[quote]Species: Bug-Folk. Silk moth variety. 

Bug-folk are a varied group, taking after the many genus of insect-like creatures in humanoid form. They most often retain some attributes or abilities of the true insects they draw inspiration from. While the communities of bug-folk can often be rather separate and divisive they have taken to congealing into larger communities despite the food chain their progenitors once belonged to. Bug-folk do not in fact partake in hunting each other in any form of cannibalism, though it was at a point tradition to stay within groups of bug-folk of the same kind.[/quote]

The more unique choice out of the group. And to be frank, I give you props for really thinking outside of the box with that one. I really like the Silk Moth Bug Folk and cannot wait to bring them more into this tale. For being creative and imaginative I give you a applause. Good job.

[quote]Description: Simon stands at roughly 4"9, not being particularity short or tall considering his age. Like many bug folk he is quite light despite his size, weighing somewhere in the ballpark of 90 lbs. His person is often smudged with oil in places. Bumps and scratches appear all over and are promptly covered with an array of colorful band-aids. His voice is slightly awkward in a way that's hard to describe. A little higher pitched then one might expect, with slight accents on certain vowels. His pronunciation of words lean to what he thinks sound good instead of what are etymologically correct. His eyes appear luminous in dark locations, though they are instead reflective; rather than giving off their own light.[/quote]

It is simple and gets to the point. I have no problem with simple descriptions, they get to the point and are straight forward. For someone who drew their character, you have little visual context. Which is interesting. Not bad. Just weakens a creation from your own mind. No changes needed to made. Merely an observation.

[quote]Persona[/quote]

Like many of the current proposed cast, it seems the purposed strengths are talkative and easy to get along with. Despite that I really find your neutrals and flaws to be more interesting than your strengths. Which is shame, because I love the idea of this individual working to their own music. It be nice if that musical quality was brought more into your strengths and the character was fleshed out beyond being nice and independent. Which is a criticism I had of some of the sheets and may repeat myself once or twice. This again is general advice with optional revisions. 

Skills, Neutral, and Flaws really flesh out Simon. I wish his strengths were as standout as they were. They are what makes Simon unique. And I liked those qualities.

[quote]Battle Profile[/quote]

As we talked before, I absolutely enjoy this. It is unique. It refreshing. I love an engineer rifle user. I have no comments about this part of your sheet. 

[quote]Magic Profile[/quote]

Perfect. Everything about this feels unique. I loved the spells. I loved the misc battle info. These are the standouts of your sheet. And stood out with a concrete design in mind. 

[quote]Tale[/quote]

I liked the fairy tale aspect of this. The way it was written. We had this discussion on the discord. My preference is more of a history like Astraea or even look at Arisen sheet. Mainly because I feel like I am being told the emotions and not feeling the emotions. You lose a lot of emotional weight, by not exploring them. Otherwise, I enjoyed the tale, and again these are not revisions to be made, they are meant to be advice for the next you build a sheet.

Overview; I feel the personality is a bit weak, I also feel the description is also a bit weak and the tale. It is the same thing I said about Archibald. While simple is good and getting to the point is good, I am disappointed that someone can draw a character and not have this abundance of visual design in mind for their character. Otherwise, the battle profile, the species, and the mechanical work is nicely written and I enjoyed them. 

Verdict: I'd like to see some more reviews and thoughts on Simon from the other cast members. Preferable Arisen and Maybell who have not gotten around to it. Pending Acceptance.

[@Polaris North]

[quote]Description: Francis lets out a noble aura, as was taught to him ever since he was a child. Standing straight and confident, his strides are long and sure. His movements are graceful but precise. There is nothing in his body language that would reflect the insecurities within. The expression on his face when he isn't with anyone is usually just a neutral face plastered on - often seen as bored or lonely. It is reminiscent of a look that someone has when he's mourning, or when he's remembering something that can be considered as 'sad' or a 'horrible' memory.[/quote]

Yes please more. I enjoyed read your description of Francis. He exudes this princely aura and I felt like he was coming alive off the page. I absolutely enjoyed the way you worded information. I loved the way it was organized. This is how to get to the point, be simple, but still be able to give character to the individual you are creating. Kudos.

[quote]Persona[/quote]

It seems like everyone is taking, doesn't get bothered by much classes. With that out of the way I actually feel like Francis' strength is his weakest part of his personality sheet. While reasonable it comes off very stereotypical, something you'd expect from a noble. I wish to have seen some quirks in personality. A break in the mold maybe. Of course this is optional. With Idris redacted, I don't have any more comments on the flaws because they no longer conflict with another's character and neither does his strength. The skills to the persona all equal what a noble person might have been. However, I would suggest, optional, that because he was orphaned at a young age you could drop in some other elements.

[quote]Battle Profile[/quote]

One of your stronger sections. I enjoyed reading this portion of the sheet as well. It is a good setup and I love when not every character is magey. And that's what I am enjoying so far out of the potential cast members. Francis has good setup and balance.

[quote]Magic Profile[/quote]

Traditional and classic. I respect the classics. Again I like how Francis doesn't lean too much into the sorcerer box. 

[quote]Tale[/quote]

Another well written tale. I liked the storybook element of the way it was written. I enjoy this idea of being able to explore this family curse. That will be a very interesting arc. To see who cursed them and why. I enjoy a good mystery and to figure out the clues. I really look forward to this aspect of Francis. My only criticism would be that instead of writing it as a narrative, you gave lots of exposition. I enjoy feeling what a character feels then knowing what a character knows. Otherwise though I thoroughly enjoyed the tale.

Overview; You have a solid concrete idea and I enjoy Francis. I cannot wait to make a curse arc, because that will be fuuun. However, just as I have told Akay, Dead, and now you. The personality strengths are weak. And do not shake up much. It lacks creativity and punch. However, this is not asking for a revision. If you want to revise it is up to you. Just as it is up to everyone else.

Verdict: Accepted