[@AngelofOctober] He be my review of Valeo.

Welp that was another long ass CS, a good read to be sure. Masterfully written as per usual, with the added bonus of a self drawn character art (I respect that shit, good job.) He does seem like a bit of an ass but for someone who went through what he has, I'd say he's doing alright not being a total anti life murder fuck machine.

Though when  we get to his magic this is where I hit a bit of a snag. Rapture as it is now feels completely broken (no pun intended). Breaking armor and weapons that aren't enchanted is fine by me, but breaking bones that are still inside someone? I personally thing that's a little more potent than a Medium spell let alone a lesser spell. And the wording is kinda weird too, [color=orange] Any living creatures targeted by the spell will not be affected physically, instead most ordinary people will hear an internal crack. The spell instead breaks their bone.[/color] Not being affected physically? A broken bone seems pretty Physical. I honestly feel this spell needs to be change in some capacity, be it that it simply chips bones or that it just doesn't affect organics entirely (I know this messes with the story you have written) I mean what's to stop him from just breaking something skull and instantly kill it?

Now there is also him being able to pretty much just melt people's faces into juicy slag. Now he does need to get really close to pull this off, and it's not like they are just going to stand still as they feel themselves being turned to goo. Unless of coarse he breaks their leg using the aforementioned Rapture spell rendering them severely handicapped and pretty much done for.

I do understand he should be powerful, being the half spawn of Igni. But then that's just it, he's the half spawn of a vastly powerful demon lord of oblivion! What the hell does he need the rest of the people for? Not only does he not need them for protection because he is easily the most powerful, but he doesn't need them to be able to survive the wilderness because he already know how to do that better than everyone else too.

He just feels like the obvious "Main protagonist" or "Chosen one" who is simply better than the rest, and honestly doesn't need them. Unless he runs into some strong wizards then he's right as rain. I don't know if I'm misunderstanding his strength or anything like that, but it just feels like everyone else would be weighing him down on this adventure.

That major gripe out of the way I want to talk about all the shit I like, that being basically every other aspect of the CS. His occasional tactless way of speaking is for sure going to cause some tension at some point, and that I do look forward to. Him and Sith bring a little bit of fire to the table that is sure to get some shit cooking at times, making sure that the RP isn't a love fest the entire time. Him being half demon will give him something to talk about with Archy probably, and it'd also make him one of the two poor suckers who can't be healed by dear old Celestial sis.

I think Valeo is amazing, and the amount of effort and detail you put into him is astronomical. I just ask you take into consideration what I've said. Either way I'll love to see Archy break down all those barriers Valeo has put up with sheer adorableness. Archy will fall into the barriers if he needs to!

(edit. Me and Angel done the talk. And the fella seems alright after a good discussion.)