Ryan wasn't really aware of how it must seem when he didn't immediately cave and provide Brendon with all information that he had about his and Gabe's conversation - in fact, it seemed like a pretty small deal, because surely they couldn't have said anything that would be offensive to Brendon. Anyway, Ryan didn't really have anything necessarily to hide; he just really wasn't sure how to go about telling Brendon any of this without freaking him out. What was a frustrating ordeal to Brendon, being kept in the dark and all, was Ryan's idea of keeping him safe from an unneeded panic. And he was, of course, way too oblivious to catch on to anything otherwise. Brendon wasn't quite expressive enough for the message to get across, and it's not like he'd make his discomfort clear either way.

What was more important was trying to ease his nerves after what was no doubt a difficult day, help him relax, and the first order of business was to try and be bold. Brendon seemed to appreciate it despite how dumb he felt just making any suggestive comments, thankfully. [i]I’d be impressed.[/i] Ryan tilted his chin up as Brendon leaned closer, smiling a little at the positive response. [i]You’ve come the closest.[/i] Pretty much disarmed, Ryan stayed in his head with that one but struggled to be in the moment for their kiss, not wanting to miss something that barely happened - especially not so gently. He was gradually becoming more optimistic about their situation, because everything Brendon said seemed to be coming closer to something a boyfriend might say to him in the mornings or after a kiss or in other tiny, vaguely intimate moments, and Ryan had a rampant imagination. And this [i]kiss.[/i] For the first time in a long time, Ryan felt cared for, like he'd actually attracted someone's fondness. It was kind of silly, but he was endlessly sensitive.

It couldn't happen without the weight on his chest being lifted, though (at least not in Ryan's mind), so he was fairly quick to press pause on their moment, apologising for things mostly in the past now. Even if it wasn't a current issue, what if it was still on Brendon's mind, too? Never too late to correct a mistake, especially one as big as this. Oddly enough, Ryan was pretty sure this probably wouldn't be the last time he disappointed Brendon (and maybe that was an invitation for Gabe to stop by, too, in the future. So, bad news and good news). [i]It’s okay.[/i] That was surprisingly calm, for Brendon. And easy. Maybe the contact had warmed him up to Ryan saying anything at all... actually, he might just be saving his actual thoughts on the subject for a time where he wasn't close to being on top of Ryan. Whatever the case may be, Ryan instantly felt kind of better, glad he hadn't prompted any snapping.

He thought he was unbelievably lucky, but then it happened. His relieved expression reverted back to the typical kicked puppy look when Brendon backed off again, hands removed and replaced at his lap. [i]What the fuck did Gabe say to you, Ryan? Thank you for the apology, I know you didn’t fuckin’ mean to be an asshole, but I’m not an idiot.[/i] His new optimistic side told him that it was at least good Brendon knew he would never intentionally act maliciously towards him, but still. This was a pretty fucked apology. He'd of course always wanted to say it by his own accord, and Gabe's confrontation was what gave him the courage. Letting Brendon think it only happened because he got yelled at, or whatever - that just sounded like another asshole move. [b]"They said I broke your trust,"[/b] he said hesitantly, trying to meet Brendon's gaze so he knew he was genuine. [b]"And I would never want to do that. I never meant to."[/b] Obviously. But he still wanted to say it. 

Brendon's withdrawn touch returned at his waist and his hair, and Ryan's chest dropped as he exhaled in not quite [i]relief,[/i] but a return to a slightly more comfortable state, maybe. [i]I forgive you.[/i] That meant way more to Ryan right now than anything else in the world. Ryan smiled at him, elated, but it faded a second later, pacified by Brendon's mouth on his neck. [i]But you talk too much.[/i] He nodded rushedly, because that was too unfortunately true, and murmured the smallest 'thank you' in response to Brendon's granted forgiveness. He became self-conscious as Brendon worked at his buttons, not really because of his appearance or anything he'd usually worry about but more at the rapid rise and fall of his chest, that affected by Brendon - and they'd only kissed thus far. Too easy. Unable to do much other than stare in some state like awe as Brendon pressed kisses against his collarbone, he idly traced his fingertips along the side of Brendon's face, studying the perfect features he'd by now mentally mapped out.

[b]"And,"[/b] Ryan murmured suddenly, his voice soft because he didn't want to sound urgent enough to stop Brendon - and he was kind of embarrassed that his filter disappeared, the whole 'overly talkative' thing getting worse by the moment. [b]"And - we agreed, you deserve so much more than I think you realize. You're worth so, so much, Bren."[/b] There it was again. One could argue Brendon had all the confidence he'd ever need, and some smart remark like 'I've got over a million dollars' net worth, yeah' would brush all of this away, but Ryan just needed to share the sentiment. As long as Brendon heard it, it didn't matter how he responded. He wasn't sure why it felt like such a pressing matter to say this stuff now, but if Brendon wanted to know what happened, then Ryan wasn't going to tell him he knew things he only meant for his best friend to know - then he'd probably be in trouble with Gabe. This was enough for now, and following his second tangent he carefully shifted his hand to the back of Brendon's head to try and draw him back up for a punctuating kiss.