[@RangingWolf]

When the ship opened up, Escotto's eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas. "Real, actual aliens!" Then they pulled out guns. "Oh, look, it's the welcoming committee!" And then began to shoot at the creatures chasing him. "Oh, they [i]are[/i] on my side, cool!" Skidding to a stop and turning, Escotto finally got a good look at his pursuers. Basically they were wolves cobbled together by wood and magic. There was mystical power being thrown around on both sides: From one armored alien firing off spears of... That's not Qì in itself. Perhaps Dark Energy? Something to ask Ned about when he got back, to the wolf that got impaled by said spears.

Cocking Ramona back, Escotto prepared to retaliate, until one of the wolves burst into timber. 

"Ooookay!"

He turned to another, about to split it with a spinning side kick, before one of the bigger aliens stomped it to pieces.

"Oh. Well, in that case..."

Seeing another wolf, Escotto prepared to throw his other switch blade, before one of the aliens shot it to pieces.

"Can I just...?"

There was one last batch. Escotto concentrated, about to use the Northern Shaolin's Fengshi's Fury... Only for that alien tossing around dark energy to sudden burn them to ashes.

"Oh, c'mon!" Escotto grunted.

The wolves were no more. And now the aliens were approaching.

"Okay, Escotto! This is the moment you've been training for your whole life! If they got a hot alien chick with them, and you play your cards right; you'll be the first human to score some alien poon....! If she's ugly as fuck, then abort and ask if they can give you a ride back!"

He turned to the two aliens that approached. Getting a good look at them, one of them, who bombarded Escotto with questions, looked humanoid in his suit. "Yo, hold up, hold up!" Escotto interrupted. "Are you like for real aliens, or the broke-ass kind that's just humans with a different coat of paint?"

While waiting for an answer, he turned to the other alleged alien and began to answer the first one's questions to her instead. "Name's Escotto De La Rocha. AKA, El Tormento. AKA Mister Wonderful (No, I don't have a dozen roses for you!). AKA Doctor Wreck yo' shit! And the reigning champ'in of Shàolín (Along with mi hermano). I hail from the distant and mysterious region known as "México". I bring peace, badassery, and good dickings for the females (if they're hot)!"