Looking around, Brendon confirmed in the back of his mind that yeah, Ryan’s decor of choice was... Interesting, to say the least. He had some eclectic neo-rustic vibes going on, and when Brendon placed this image adjacent to a view of his own luxurious modern penthouse, he realised just how different they really were, and always had been. In most ways, they were nothing alike- appearance, personality, interests (save for music, they both played guitar and sang, and their tastes overlapped generously in most areas). It was stupid, but Brendon wondered whether that whole ‘opposites attract’ thing was true. Because Brendon was nothing if not hopelessly attracted to Ryan, even more so now that Ryan looked so [i]different[/i], so much [i]better[/i] after only two weeks away. He wondered what the motivation was, there, considering he’d given up on keeping good appearance about a month into Brendon and Shane’s pseudo-relationship.

He was nervous, which was strange, because usually Ryan’s presence comforted him and made him feel calm. Now it was the other way around and Brendon was anxious- not only because Ryan seemed so much more intimidating to him now, but because of the nature of what Brendon wanted to say to him. And- even though before he’d told himself he had nothing to lose- he had so much to lose, and that potential loss was sitting across from him on the couch, legs crossed. However, this was Brendon- he always found time to laugh, or even fake his confidence until it became real. So he managed, and a concerned-looking Ryan seemed to visibly relax, even if he did look away down to his hands. Brendon felt his heart skip wildly- he knew that Ryan was hopeless for his smile— was Ryan worried it’d have such an affect on him again? Hope built up in his chest, and he felt newly self-assure, ready to ask questions he hadn’t been willing to over text, even if his voice wavered audibly when he asked them.

Ryan’s smile had faded upon the questioning, which Brendon expected. But he wasn’t going to leave without an answer- hopefully he wasn’t going to leave at all. What he did notice, though, was that when he dropped the bombshell that he and Shane were no longer together, Ryan’s expression didn’t change at all. Maybe he already knew? It was all over the tabloids, but Brendon knew Ryan didn’t read them... If he did know, that would spell trouble for his endeavour, because that would mean there was some other reason beside Shane that Ryan was keeping his considerable distance. Metaphorically. He still lived ten minutes away, but Brendon could speak for both of them when he said that he felt so far apart. [i]Just now, you dumped him?[/i] Brendon set his jaw, because no, not quite. [i]I was wondering why you looked sort of anxious.[/i] Brendon could’ve laughed, because his breakup with Shane had barely affected him at large, and the reason he was so on edge was so not Shane. Brendon just shrugged one shoulder, not committing to an answer.

[i]Not like you. Congratulations, then. I’m sure he didn’t take it well.[/i] No, definitely not- which was weird, because Shane didn’t care about him. Maybe he just really didn’t like being told no. Reminded Brendon of himself. He clicked his tongue, dispelling away all memories of Shane. He didn’t want to think about him anymore. But he just had to clear something up. [b]”I broke up with him a week ago today,”[/b] Brendon said carefully, not meeting his eyes and instead staring down at the sofa for a few seconds. Hopefully that wouldn’t be a big deal, but for some reason, he didn’t think his luck would hold out. Brendon moved on anyway, still wanting answers- why, why, why. Why did Ryan leave? Okay, so he knew the answer to that one. Ryan just confirmed it, with some extra added detail. [i]But, um. It was... partially him.[/i] Partially him? [b]”And partially what else?”[/b] He interrupted, but realise Ryan wasn’t done and quietened down. [i]I didn’t want to upset you, being... The way I was around him.[/i] Okay, Whatever. Brendon knew that Ryan knew that Brendon really wasn’t that invested in Shane to begin with. Ryan knew that they wouldn’t last very long. But he said nothing.

[i]I wasn’t sure if I could come back and, like, be different. Calmer. So I was working on that. But, for what it’s worth, I still want to beat his ass.[/i] Brendon smiled briefly, because who didn’t- but then questions were being raised inside his head and there was so much he wanted to know and ask and say. [b]”Why didn’t you tell me this when you asked me for time off? I needed you, you know. Shane was a dick, sure, but- I think it was a little dramatic to just up and leave with no context.”[/b] Brendon was speaking in a low voice, carefully, his tone thick with doubt. There was something that Ryan wasn’t saying. [i]And I was trying to get over you, so that it was easier to see you with him. I've been afraid that, if I came back, I'd just feel the same all over again.[/i] Brendon looked stunned, because that was a hell of a lot to process. His mind was racing- Ryan was trying to get over him, fuck, had he succeeded, had he not, had he taken too long to talk to him- and he just kind of stared blankly, words on his tongue but not able to reach the air.

[i]I think I can come back, though. I mean, I’d like to.[/i] Brendon’s heart sank. That meant Ryan was over him enough to work alongside him with no troubles. He resigned back further into the couch, drawing himself in to be smaller, and bit his lip hard until it started to bleed, not even realising he’d broken skin until he tasted blood. [b]”Would you- if me and Shane stayed together, you’d still have come back, right?”[/b] He sounded hopeful, but not to sure of himself. [b]”And... You want to get over me? Why? I-”[/b] Shit. He’d opened the can of worms now, and he panicked, but couldn’t backpedal from here to make it seem like nothing. So he pressed on, sitting up straighter, meeting Ryan’s eyes and trying to stay focused, not think about how they were the exact colour of honey and Brendon seriously wanted to kiss him. [b]”Are you over me?”[/b]