Though Brendon certainly didn’t love Ryan, or had any intention of actually being in a relationship with him, he felt drawn to him- for multiple reasons. First of all, they were physically compatible and Brendon was, for once, pretty sure that he had a type. Even if he usually wasn’t fussy, he found Ryan incredibly handsome, and that was one of the reasons this intended one night stand had extended to a multiple month stand. Neither of them saw any reason to stop- or they did, but decided that the positive massively outweighed any potential negatives. Second of all, they got along, very well, and for once, upon meeting someone he found attractive, Brendon hadn’t immediately tried to take it to another level before even having a full conversation- they had been friends first, grown close over a relatively short period of time, but still close. In fact, Brendon had counted and still did count Ryan as one of his closest friends- his best friend, in fact, though he’d never tell Gabe. Gabe was a guardian angel, but was even more of a glorified babysitter than Ryan was. Both of those reasons meant that Brendon was inexplicably drawn to Ryan, but seeing as Ryan actually romantically liked him, wanted to date him, it caused confusion.

They understood eachother, but in contradiction, miscommunicated often- so Gabe often stepped in as the mediator, less for Ryan’s sake (he tended to be dumb and not think things fully though before saying or doing something) and more for the sake of Brendon, who was arguably more vulnerable- a man who had it all but couldn’t make sense of anybody’s feelings. Especially when the feelings were directed towards him. He understood little in the ways of romance beyond physical relationships, and he didn’t intend to learn otherwise; he enjoyed his lifestyle, surface-level, engaging with long strings of one-time lovers. Variety was the spice of life, was his excuse- even though in the past months, Brendon had been spending little time with others than Ryan, and further in, they were unofficially exclusive simply due to the fact that neither of them had any interest in anyone else. Brendon, if asked, would have just said that this arrangement was easier, given some bullshit excuse- but he enjoyed Ryan’s company, in every sense. It was difficult for him to admit something so relatively monumental.

In fact, he preferred not to think ahout it. He preferred not to think at all, after days like these where his parents drove him to the edge and he was stressed and wound up enough to drop all of his plans and tasks for the rest of the day. Ryan had already assured him that they could be taken care of, so Brendon’s priorities could safely switch elsewhere- and Ryan was by now something of a stress reliever, and perhaps better, he was a great listener. Even if he contradicted that by talking way too much at the wrong time. Like now- though he knew that Ryan meant well, he definitely had terrible timing, and Brendon chose to limit his responses and instead focus on kissing him. Or at least, he tried to, but some things that Ryan said got under his skin and started his brain off and broke down his filter. Almost comically, he expressed his worry and doubts as he continued to make swift work of the buttons on Ryan’s shift, an expert by now at ridding Ryan of such garments because he apparently didn’t know how to do it himself.

Right after opening up more than he was used to, and feeling slightly nervous, Ryan drew him in without hesitating and joined him in a kiss, and Brendon was glad for the momentary silence, the peace that came with the unusually gentle kiss- one that might seem like a kiss shared by lifelong lovers, if an observer didn’t know any better. Brendon shivered under his touch as he kissed him leisurely, hands moving up across his chest towards his shoulders, sliding the shirt almost completely off when Ryan started to speak breathlessly between the breaks of their empassioned kiss. [i]I didn’t mean it.[/i] Brendon just nodded hastily in acknowledgment watching as Ryan removed a hand from his sleeve and replaced it at the back of his neck. [i]I know you. It wasn't right, Bren.[/i] Brendon smiled despite himself at the nickname, even if he thought such a fond moniker was too intimate for their situation. He loved it anyway- to Ryan, he was B, or Bren, or even Bden, and he never complained.

[i]Thank you - for telling me.[/i] Ryan’s voice was low and gentle and Brendon shrugged one shoulder as if it wasn’t a big deal, but it was, and he felt vulnerable, even if he wasn’t the one who wasn’t wearing a shirt. [b]”It’s okay. Just- everything’s getting to me, and that- it was on my mind, constantly.”[/b] Brendon shook his head free of thoughts and pulled the shirt completely off Ryan, then, dropping it on the floor beside the couch, and rested both of his hands comfortable on Ryan’s shoulders, before sliding them down slowly to his waist and the waistband of his jeans, mapping out the familiar angles and bone and skin of Ryan’s chest. Brendon looked fully involved in what he was doing, but silently coaxed Ryan on to return the favour so he wouldn’t have to do it for once. [b]”You know, one of these days you’re gonna have to learn to take a shirt off,”[/b] He mumbled, smiling anyway, pressing his mouth against the side of Ryan’s and trailing off towards his cheekbone again. [b]”...You’re so damn pretty. It’s becoming an issue for me, you know.”[/b]