The two of them were almost tragically in tune, in most ways. Physically, they were compatible, were together like that enough to be familiar and comfortable with eachother’s body, speaking the same silent language as fluently as lovers did. They had complimenting personalities and senses of humour- one more muted and unassuming, one cantankerous and and forceful, both were stubborn, Ryan was dry and sarcastic and sometimes even had a mean streak, while Brendon was inappropriate and outspoken and thrives off the attention of acting out. Both of them had an equal amount of flaws, came from very different backgrounds and lived very different lives, but they were best friends, as well as the two halves of an empassioned casual affair that was only casual one-way. The one way they weren’t really in tune was emotionally. Both struggled to express it most of the time- Ryan choked up on the only words he ever meant, Brendon flat out refused to discuss his own feelings- so there was an element of constant miscommunication and misinterpretation that made things difficult at the best of times.

But for Brendon, it was worth it. Here he had a close friend that he had learned (and could learn again) to trust, that he could talk to easily without trying to hard or too little, that he could even vent to about the plights of being rich and famous if he so chose to. Best of all, to Brendon, they were intimately involved, and that was not only the icing on the cake, but for him at the time, it was most of the ingredients. He remembered Ryan implying that he wanted more, that he felt more strongly about Brendon than vice versa, but he chose to ignore it, as he had with most problems throughout his entire life. Instead, he carried on as they did, only really talking about it to Gabe, who had apparently straight up stabbed him in the back and gone running to Ryan about it, saying that Brendon didn’t trust ryan and god knows what else. It was true, obviously, but Gabe shouldn’t [i]say[/i] it.

No matter- they could discuss whatever bullshit Gabe had said later on. Right then, Brendon had other matters on his mind, and that was getting out of his mind. But it was unprecedentedly difficult, because Brendon’s mind was swimming with thoughts of trust and bonds and the possibility of genuine romantic affection. It was mostly subconscious, lurking at the back of his mind, but enough to distract him, and even mellow him out to be much gentler than he usually would- kissing gently when he’d usually have been undressed by now, all soft touches and uncharacteristic calmness. It was nice, he thought distantly. It was something he could theoretically get used to. Still, there was only so much of that he could cope with- Brendon was impatient to the bone. [i]Sorry. You’re distracting.[/i] Ryan thankfully caught on, and Brendon bit onto his bottom lip just as his hands slipped up his shirt. Brendon crossed his arms over to take hold of the sides of his shirt and pulled it over his head, dropping it over the back of the couch and leaning forwards, resting his hands on his waist and smoothing them upwards across Ryan’s skin, resting on his shoulders and then wrapping around his neck as he shifted forwards to get more involved.

I [i]am?[/i] Brendon nodded faintly, pulling back just a little to study him and then leaning in to his ear. [b]”More then you know.”[/b] [i]An issue. How so? Feel free to do whatever you want about it.[/i] Brendon grinned. [b]”I intend to,”[/b] He replied, eyebrows raising. He then did his usual, pressed his weight down against him, moving one hand to fist into Ryan’s hair, accelerated from their brief moments of softness. He caught his mouth in a more urgent kiss, free hand joining the other in his hair briefly then trailing down back towards his waist. Brendon only pulled away to breathe, looking at him from under his eyelashes. [b]”I’m so glad I met you, and I’m so glad we decided to do [i]this.”[/i][/b] That comment was weighted, and when he realised he’d put more feeling behind it than he intended, Brendon paused.

[b]”I- I’m sorry I treat you like shit sometimes. Don’t argue, I know I do,”[/b] He started, talking quietly, but with a rough edge to his voice because honestly he wanted to get back to what he was doing. He didn’t have very good timing himself. [b]”Nobody’s ever been as nice to me, as genuine with me as you have. Even Gabe is flaky. You’re... dependable.”[/b] There was a beat. [b]”I do care about you, even if I don’t show it very well. And you’re very handsome.”[/b] He smiled, relaxed for once in his life, and leaned back in to catch him in a kiss, this time with one hand holding firmly onto his upper arm and the other moving down to hook his fingers very inconspicuously under the waistband. [b]”Before we go to the point of no return- would you rather stay here, or go somewhere else..?”[/b]