Maybe the reason Ryan was so focused on working on himself rather than on both of their problems collectively was just that this was his first relationship where they fit together so well. A lot of people could reminisce on good relationships that didn't end on bad terms, or just had memorable enough times where they didn't see it as a mistake; most if his were ventures he regretted wasting his time with, or that were taken with people who influenced his personality in ways he was still trying to change. And all of them were short-lived, unimportant. So he didn't really [i]know[/i] how to solve problems maturely when it came to a two-person team... and if past relationships were his poison, then Brendon must have it much, much worse. Ryan knew very little, if anything, about what came before Shane, but he was fairly certain that he himself was Brendon's first real partner. It was a scary thought - he could be the bad trial run, or something. It's not like many people struck out on their first (ish) try, so... but that was just him being a pessimist, typical. Ryan tried not to dwell on all of that too much,

[i]My name is [/i]Brendon. Ryan stared at the wall and wondered how he'd ended up here. Maybe if he hadn't responded to the rich man's cry for help in the first place. Or he didn't give in to Brendon's seductive personality. Sigh. But his life would totally suck then, and he wouldn't have this kind of top notch entertainment. Although - as amused as he was, Brendon seemed pissed, so he tried to take him a little more seriously. [i]Ryan, [/i]baby, [i]you said you wanted to leave.[/i] 'With you' hung on Ryan's lips, but he knew he was still suppressing a small laugh at Brendon's half-second accidental sweet tone, so he stayed quiet.[i] I basically said [/i]feel free. [i]Would you- would you fuckin’ prefer if I asked you to stay? I just said I didn’t care, I wasn’t being a dick. It always happens anyway.[/i] Well, if that made sense to drunk Brendon, Ryan supposed he could convolute his own rationality. He supposed. And- that last part was concerning. Did he really think Ryan always bailed? Maybe he did do it too often, now he thought about it.

Ryan knew he was going to sound nitpicky if he went on any longer about Brendon's exact phrasing, but he did anyway. [b]"'Basically' saying it, isn't saying it. It felt like 'fuck off.'"[/b] He paused, wishing there was a phone cord or whatever to nervously toy with; alas. He existed in the 2010s, where life was the worst. [b]"And, um. I didn't realise I did it that often- I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not as used to... all of that, as you are."[/b] If he was hard to understand stumbling over every word normally, he felt bad Brendon had to try and comprehend what he was saying now, in his state. Aside from that, his defense didn't really hold strong; he'd had to accompany Brendon places for some time now, and should ideally have grown accustomed to the lifestyle he led at least slightly more than staying until 1 am. He wasn't sure how to clearly explain the way his social battery ran out quick, apart from special cases like when he really did have to take care of Brendon. In those situations, Ryan existed beyond normal introvert limitations quite impressively. 

[i]You could have at least told me. I was looking forward to seeing you.[/i] Ryan was prepared to be petty and argue that he did tell him, he should've just [i]guessed[/i] he meant his real home, but. At the time he kind of hadn't, not until he went outside and changed his route. And Brendon was being undeniably sweet saying that - yet Ryan wasn't sure he really believed it. [b]"It didn't sound like you cared much about seeing me the last time we talked,"[/b] he said, barely argumentatively because he wasn't really feeling up to maintaining a conflict. It felt more like he was keeping him on the phone than much else, at this point. [i]Didn’t think I’d what? Care? Charming.[/i] Ryan pursed his lips. [b]"Well. It seems like you only started giving a shit once I'd actually left, so. I mean- you cared more about that party than [i]our[/i] date. What was I supposed to think, Bren?"[/b] His tone was oddly calmer, because Ryan was actually sort of curious about Brendon's thought process. He knew in the back of his mind it was a bad time to ask, all things considered, but he held out hope that maybe Brendon could arrange his mind clearly enough. 

[i]Well, y’know, somebody ruined my other plans. So, yeah.[/i] It would've been kind of funny if he wasn't actually concerned about how much worse Brendon would get as the night progressed should he head out again. Ryan fiddled vaguely with the idea of going over there whether he was welcome or not, either to accompany him when he left or to coerce him into passing out early (if 3am could still be considered that). When he offered to come over Brendon paused, hesitated, and Ryan took it answer enough, starting to straighten up from where he was curled into the crook of his chair. [i]Don’t bother.[/i] Ryan hugged his phone to his ear with his shoulder, shoving his wallet from the sidetable back into his pocket, his keys.

[i]Clearly you didn’t want to in the first place. Stay at home, read your book or whatever, enjoy your alone time.[/i] Ryan looked guiltily at the book in his lap that he hadn't even read more than ten words of. At least Brendon still thought highly of his attention span. He set the novel aside, standing and moving before a mirror, running his fingers through his hair while Brendon ranted. [i]I’ll go fuckin’ find someone who’s actually fun- [/i]Shane. A corner of Ryan's mouth jerked up and he moved to the door, heading out into the hall. Bullshit, he was gonna talk to Shane again. As far as both of them were concerned, he was dead, excommunicated. [i]No, no, fuck that, forget I said that.[/i] [b]"No problem,"[/b] Ryan said easily, jogging down steps until he was outside his apartment building, squeezing the receiver closer to him to conceal the sounds of city life until he could get into his car and turn the ignition.

He heard the faintest movement, and suddenly Brendon's voice sounded more distant. [i]I don’t feel good, I- I’m gonna go.[/i] [b]"No, hey, Brendon, baby, stay on the line,"[/b] he urged hurriedly, raising his voice to cover whatever distance Brendon had put between himself and the phone. Ryan pulled out of his parking space while he switched to speaker and set his own phone on his thigh, maneuvering into the steady line of cars already on the road and setting off in the direction of the penthouse. [b]"What are you talking about, you don't feel good? Are you sick? Now you need to stay home, okay? Just - don't hang up, 'til I know you're all right."[/b] And hopefully he'd been quiet enough to hide the fact he was already a quarter of the way there, 'cause God knows Brendon would rush to cut the call if the boyfriend he felt like he was in some kind of spat with was on his way over.