At his rather dry response - but Ryan wasn't much for conversation right away, anyway - Brendon looked up at him, seemingly amused, and Ryan's heart skipped just at the sight of his smile. Jesus, the thought of waking up to that every morning rather than every other morning or even longer than that... yeah, he'd like to get to that point sooner rather than later. By now Ryan was basically holding his tongue to stop from running the suggestion by Brendon, but they tended to be on equal terms at any given time, so he wasn't really worried. They'd both written those songs on the new record, same romanticism, same idealism, the same concept to reinvent love. Honestly, they had kind of succeeded in doing that, Ryan thought. Or, anyway, his idea of love had changed entirely. Like he'd admitted to before, all his past 'lovers' were nothing, now. A thing of the past, and a very dumb past at that. Now seventy percent of his thoughts were dominated by Brendon, Brendon, Brendon, and the other thirty were pretty pointless since they weren't about him.

[i]Wow, you got out of bed to come see me?[/i] Ryan nodded vehemently, like he was impressed with even himself, and smirked in what was meant to be a suppressed smile. [i]Don’t suppose you’d wanna get back in?[/i] That was very tempting. In fact, it was the secondmost thing he wanted more than anything right now, and the first thing he was trying to cut to the chase for rather quickly. He toyed briefly with the idea of breaking his thoughts to Brendon [i]in[/i] bed, an even calmer place to do it, but Ryan always took forever to get to the point, so. May as well get it over with. Plus - if he brought it up now, they'd end up having [i]one[/i] bed to waste days away in. Shared. Like everything else would be. God, that'd be ideal. He was stroking more carefully at the fade of Brendon's hairline, already envisioning it all.

Brendon's lips were pressed almost absently to his jaw and Ryan leaned into it while he spoke, already stuck in the motion of moving them like a slow current. He wasn't worried at all, in fact, he was completely careless, in the place he probably felt most comfortable with the person he felt most comfortable; and then he was. Brendon became rigid in his arms, breathing stunted, and suddenly he wasn't holding onto him anymore. It'd never occurred to him that maybe they weren't on the same page before - well, it had, but it sounded so absurd to him, and he'd even spoken to Spencer about it in a fit of 'hey best friend listen to [i]this[/i]' gossip, and Spencer agreed that Brendon was likely in the exact same headspace. Evidently, Brendon was a pretty good actor. Ryan kept his small smile, reserving any panic for now, and let his arms slowly drop as well.

[i]Ryan, I- I can’t.[/i] Ryan's smile faded a little but not totally, expression slightly confused, and he tried to meet Brendon's gaze only to find him focused fixedly on the floor. [i]Can’t do- this. Us. It’s too much. Too soon. Too fast.[/i] That couldn't be right. It'd been a year, and then a friendship before that, and surely Brendon didn't [i]mean[/i] any of this. He just had to think about it, maybe... or he already had, and he'd made up his mind before Ryan even asked. Ryan stared at him, slightly more scared, and couldn't find any words at all, mind totally blank except for a vague register of fear. [i]I’m sorry. This is why I called you here.[/i] He didn't even sound sure of himself. If Brendon had no conviction about the matter, and had sounded fine moments ago - teasing, as a matter of fact, like he was perfectly ready to joke around - why was he saying any of it?

[b]"Don't say that,"[/b] Ryan said in a small voice, stepping closer again, hand gently settling against Brendon's jaw to try and raise his head, meet his eyeline. [b]"Hey, you don't have to- you don't have to do that. We can wait a little while, okay? Just think before you..."[/b] Wait. If this was why Brendon called him here, then that wasn't the only reason. He paused, considering, and studied Brendon for a moment, feeling cold. [b]"Why? What are you afraid of?"[/b] If Brendon was serious, had thought this through, then Ryan didn't want to convince him otherwise - it sounded more than a little manipulative. He just wanted to hear him out.