Maricola's face remained as blank and impassive as always. If anyone nearby had been able to identify the subtle, tetrachromatic haze of color that emanated from somewhere beneath Maricola's skin, however, they'd have noticed it begin to darken in hue as Uncle Coobie spoke. This, it seemed, was a sign of concern.

Maricola's right arm tripled in size, the now ham-sized fist engulfing most of Uncle Coobie's body and raising him to eye level. Maricola cocked it's head and stared at it's fellow monster for a second before speaking.

[color=a2d39c]"Golly, Uncle Coobie~. Has this place really hurt you that much..?"[/color]

Uncle Coobie was considered something of an eccentric in the non-euclidean space monster community. Not because he loved feeling up small children, as one would have thought, but because he had turned such a casual hobby into an obsession of a highest order. Sure, there wasn't a higher-dimensional being worth their salt who hadn't impregnated a high priestess or two, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a one that stuck around to raise it. On the whole, ultimate lifeforms had a bad tendency to pump and dump.

But Uncle Coobie wasn't content to just seed a world with his baleful progeny and get on with his life. No, he'd somehow gotten it into his head that he wanted to [i]groom[/i] these Earth primitives in order to meet some arbitrary quota of despair and anguish, and was generally regarded by his peers as the cosmic equivalent of a shut-in otaku. Maricola had a rough understanding of the whole situation, but it hadn't become evident just how bad off the guy was until Maricola met him in person. Uncle Coobie was in serious need of a couple millennia's vacation.

A lightbulb went off in Maricola's head. Of course! All he needs is some time away from those little girls he was always on about, and he'd be right as acid rain! There was only one problem: How did you tell if someone was a girl? Uncle Coobie had said something about backpack when he looked at the seated one. Was backpack a sex organ?

Maricola walked over to Justin Case's bench, oversized hand and Uncle Coobie trailing slime as they dragged along the pavement, and touched him on the shoulder with a free appendage.

[color=a2d39c]"Hey, are you a girl~?"[/color]

[@Duoya] [@Stern Algorithm]