Brendon [i]was[/i] an emotional person- he’d just learned to hide it extremely well or manipulate it to his advantage, or rather, he just really wasn’t that sentimental. Nobody had ever taken the time to sit down and tell him how much he meant to them, so Brendon didn’t believe that he [i]did[/i] mean anything to anyone, even when Ryan had told him outright a number of times just how important he was to him. He simply found it too hard to believe, and it was understandable; even his closest friends, Gabe, for example, though in action adamantly and fiercely protective of Brendon, had never taken the time to properly ask how he was doing. To be fair to Gabe, they usually needn’t ask- they had learned by now how to read Brendon like a book- but still, Brendon craved that kind of attention, that kind of validation, he supposed, but he also fiercely rejected it when it came along because he was scared of getting his hopes up, getting hurt, being so vulnerable in that way. It was strange- he was so comfortable with, to be crude, taking his clothes off with practical strangers, but he wasn’t confident enough to let people see under his metaphorical protective layers.

Though he had learned to trust Ryan, he had still been hesitant to even let him in further than surface-level shit, which was so odd juxtaposed to the nature of their physical relationship. Brendon was desensitised to the supposed emotional intimacy of what they were doing, because he’d never experienced it that way. This was confusing, because though Brendon felt the usual, common attraction towards Ryan, there was something underlying- a geniune fondness, a desire to be around him and not just for a particular reason, just an excuse to enjoy his company. He felt that strongly now, having been peacefully awoken by Ryan’s gentle movements, taking a moment to calibrate and remember it was Ryan who was settled against him, relaxing when he realised he wouldn’t have to get up and kick somebody out. A rush of affection started in his chest and flooded warmly through his body, and this was reflected in his slow, sleepy smile. A few moments after that, he registered a dull ache in his muscles, too, and wondered absently whether that was Ryan’s doing, or it was because of their unorthodox sleeping positions on a couch (even if it was the considerable size of Brendon’s).

He was encouraged to turn over, and he did, though with a sigh of protest- he kind of just wanted to go back to sleep and recover. Instead, he blinked up at Ryan, and felt that pesky flush of fondness spread inside his chest again, illustrating it with a faint smile. He reached up to his hair to comb through it with his fingers, against the protest of his muscles, and then dropped his arm back to his side when Ryan’s hand replaced his, carding gently through his hair. Brendon wondered distantly whether he was dreaming- he never woke up like this with someone, the sensation and situation was completely alien. He felt a little faraway, distant- but he was aware enough to notice that smirk, and his bit his lip, suppressing a grin of his own. [i]Is that a compliment?[/i] Shut up. [i]Testament to my ability.[/i] Brendon closed his eyes briefly when Ryan’s hand ran down his torso, then opened them again when the contact left him. [b]”Well,“[/b]- He tilted his head to the side and trailed his fingers along Ryan’s collarbone- [b]”Let’s just say I wouldn’t mind a round two.”[/b] Brendon grinned, dropped his hand, then shrugged a shoulder. [b]”Hm, Maybe not. I’m fuckin’ exhausted.”[/b] Still, it was the thought that counted.

Brendon started to tease him, and when he trailed off, eyes glinting, he was taken by surprise when Ryan leaned in to kiss him. He wasn’t sure [i]why[/i] it caught him off guard, considering the content of the replays flashing through his head from a few hours previous, but it did. Not that he didn’t enjoy it. In fact, he leaned up when Ryan pulled away, chasing. [i]You has your doubts? I must not be doing well enough.[/i] Brendon shook his head, adamant. [b]”Nah. Ten out of ten. Would do again.”[/b] Giggling now, apparently drunk from a combination of this attention, the gentleness and the warm glow of the evening sunlight on his skin, he finally reached up and wrapped his arms decidedly around Ryan’s waist, pulling him back in so he could go back to sleep and wake up more well-rested than probably ever before. Only a few beats passed, and Ryan was speaking softly by his ear. [i]Clearly.[/i] Brendon nodded, barely, eyes still closed. [i]Told you I could.[/i]

Brendon opened one eye, then the other, feeling a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. [b]”Somebody’s cocky,”[/b] He murmured, not at all annoyed, just amused, because this wasn’t usually behaviour Ryan exhibited. He wasn’t complaining. Staying quiet while Ryan shifted to this side to get more comfortable, he closed his eyes yet again, finally ready to go to sleep. These five minutes of conversation were evidently wearing him out. Again, a few short moments passed, but then Ryan was talking again, and Brendon resisted the urge to move his hand and press it over his mouth so he’d shut up for one second. [i]All that stuff you were saying earlier, about...[/i] Brendon set his jaw. Apparently it was useless trying to get back to sleep, so he shifted a little, so he propped himself up slightly on one elbow, and turned his head so he was facing Ryan, who had his face resting near the crook of his shoulder. [i]You meant all that?[/i] A slight pause, and Brendon’s expression was unreadable. [b]”No, actually,”[/b] - He brought his free hand around to curl into Ryan’s hair- [b]”You wouldn’t shut up and I thought lying about it might get your clothes off faster.”[/b] Silence. Brendon grinned. [b]”I’m kidding, baby, of course I meant it.”[/b]