It was always impressive how Uncle Coobie could use his ventriloquist skills to talk even when he was completely covered, but Maricola had no time to appreciate them at the moment. Speed was of the essence!

[color=a2d39c]"Nnnnnnot so fast, Doctor Mamacita!"[/color], Maricola chirped as it's left hand expanded in kind, scooping up the wannabe supervillain and gripping him tightly around his waist. Uncle Coobie might have liked this backpack, but jewels were no good. After all, jewels meant diamonds... and [i]diamonds were a girl's best friend[/i]! But Uncle Coobie hated girls, especially little ones! By transitive property, that meant coming into contact with jewels of any kind would spell [i]certain death[/i] for Maricola's papa's distantly-related colleague! This would not stand!

[color=a2d39c]"But what could be the opposite of jewels..?"[/color], Maricola wondered aloud, drooling a little from the sheer effort of thinking [i]and[/i] retaining bodily function as it dragged both fists, along with their unwilling occupants, away from the direction Dr. Marg- Dr. McKra- [i]Backpack[/i] had been walking in an attempt to get as far away from the sparkly rocks as possible.

Diamond's were a girl's best friend. And the opposite of a girl was a boy. And an adult boy was a man! It was all so simple. The best way to save Uncle Coobie was to expose him to man's best friend: [b]Dog.[/b]

[color=a2d39c]"TO THE CITY POUND!"[/color], Maricola shouted moistly, raising both fists in the air as it sprinted headlong in the direction of the nearest animal shelter.

[@Duoya] [@Stern Algorithm]