ironically, despite being, like, even more of a baby at the time, the depressive and gory fallout 3 was the first game i ever got on steam. sure, i had played roblox and minecraft before (i was around 10 years old) but it just felt so much more legitimate. a purchase on this large platform of videogames frequented by millions of people that were probably an average of three times my age. playing the game itself was a blast, and looking back i realise how much it contributed to me being a bethesdacuck today. i didnt play it as much as garrys mod (a game whose playtime still dominates my library to this day), and i had no idea how pcs worked so my settings were too high and my framerates real low, but what i did play i fucking adored. throwing toys at my dad liam neeson as a toddler, shooting my way out of vault 101, leaving to be met with the pure atmosphere of the capital wasteland, visiting megaton, nuking megaton, letting ghouls overrun tenpenny tower and stealing burkes snazzy ass outfit... i wish i could go back and experience it for the first time all over again. the sheer brooding atmosphere of the metro tunnels brings forth such an uneasy feeling only replicated by the fallout 1 soundtrack. destroying enemies with vats is a unique carnage fuelled feeling of joy. lucking your way out of encounters with the power of your mere wits produces a sense of invulnerability not even the highest stat armour can match.

god, what a fucking game. forgive any mistakes and the word vomit but its 4am, im on my phone and am mortally challenged