[center][h2]???[/h2][h3]Information Unavailable, Fuyuki(?)[/h3][/center]
I...don't understand.

I can't understand. 

I was so certain, I was all but decided, but...the look in those eyes. How was that alone able to dissuade me?

My mind is a jumbled mess. I can scarcely understand where I end and something else begins. You, I really wonder what you're thinking about all of this. Are you still laughing? Are you even still [b]watching[/b] me? 

I had every chance. I could have done it, then and there, but I didn't. 

Why?

Those words, I was prepared to scream them out. 

Pound. Pound. [b]Pound.[/b] The drumbeat resumes. I drive my hands over my ears in an attempt to block it out, despite knowing that it is futile. 

They're still screaming.

They're still crying.

They're still dying helplessly without meaning without wishes without will and I am here failing to act failing to accomplish anything why why why can't I force myself to move why won't I take that step why am I afraid when I've gotten this far I need to do this I have to close those thoughts off forget those eyes and forget those words because if I let them drag me down then more will suffer and die and they don't deserve that nobody deserves that so therefore therefore therefore-

I stare down at what my fingers have clenched around in a white-knuckle grip, my hand quivering from a feeling I don't have a word for. 

It is something designed to hold wishes, and yet it is disgusting. It is something that calls itself holy, and yet that I can only find profane. 

This damnable ■■■■■. 

It's repulsive. Everything about it is repulsive. My very existence screams out in rejection of it. Simply touching it makes me want to vomit. 

But...I can't destroy it. I can't. If I do that, then...

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. 

In, out. 

In, out.

In, out. 

That feeling of hate, still unfamiliar to me, bubbles up at my throat. I choke it down. 

I...can't do it. Not yet. 

I'm weak. I'm weak, if that was able to sway my heart this easily. 

I'm not strong enough to dedicate myself to this. I'm not strong enough to have the willpower to kill myself to accomplish this. 

So, please. 

Whoever is listening, whether it's [i]you[/i] or someone else...

Let me be strong, so that I can step forwards.

Let me stand tall, so that I do not break.

Let me turn my mind to steel, so that I can save the world.