[center][h3]Kind Words for Kind Friends[/h3][/center] [i]Morning, 23rd of Last Seed, 4E08[/i] [i][sub][@Dervish] & [@DearTrickster][/sub][/i] [hr] Anvil had done very well by its citizens and visitors, easing peaceful night sleeps with the security of the Legion, offering comfort in more ways than Judena was aware of. Taking what she could haggle, spare gold she was holding onto since their departure of Jerell Mountains, Jude had replaced her mage robes. She bought a warm bed and a few meals she had no help in cooking, restocking her fresh fruit and fishing for fresh meat - drying and preserving what she could. Even having enough time to scrub away the road, treating herself to floral oils. Her scales shined unlike they have had for a handful of weeks. Refreshed of mind and body, Judena left the inn behind to go for a morning walk down to the markets. While some of the merchants gave her a glare or ignored her inquiries it only took a brief reading reminder as to why they were as cold as they were. Much to Judena’s dismay. Over the crowds she spotted a vaguely familiar Khajiit head perusing the stalls as well. She turned her head and Judena saw a stick poking out of her mouth, recognizing her immediately. She waved enthusiastically at Daro’Vasora. “Daro’Vasora!” She said moving her way forward, gently excusing herself past other shoppers. An ear pivoted in the direction of the voice, followed by the turning of a head. Despite herself, Daro’Vasora smiled, setting down a bracelet she had been looking at on the same velvet pad that the vendor had presented it on. “Judena, glad to see you’re well. You’re looking quite youthful this morning.” She gestured to the Argonian’s attire. “The outfit suits you.” Smiling as well Judena replied, “You are too kind, my friend. I feel refreshed as if I have found a center. A small sliver of stability has profoundly positive effects for me.” “Speaking of which. How has Anvil treated you? It has been a little while since we have had a chance to speak.” She paused, adding, “According to my logs, of course.” “I have reported my findings and submitted my reference guide for Dwemeri artifacts to the Legionnaires. It has… been difficult to come to terms with simply stepping back.” She admitted. “It’s been a couple days since we last spoke,” Daro’Vasora confirmed with a nod. “I always enjoyed the city; I cleaned the grime of the road away, purchased a new outfit to replace those tattered rags I was in before, even had a friendly chat with Gregor and Latro. Have you spoken to any of the others?” The Khajiit asked, giving Judena ample time to check her notes. She knew her friend’s condition well, and as such knew the system that she used to give herself the most normal life she could. Daro’Vasora wasn’t overly patient with many people, but she respected and appreciated Judena, and the slower pace of their interactions often gave her time to reflect. It was an appreciated change of pace some days. “Mm…” Judena did just that - referring to the past few days, she hummed in thought while she read. “Yes, I have spoken with Jaraleet - my protective fellow Argonian and helped appraise a sword for the…” She flipped the page, “Nanine, the young breton woman, fascinating family history. We have-” She gestured vaguely searching for the right word to describe them generally. The patience Daro’Vasora showed Judena was not lost on the Argonian. She wholly appreciated it, every little bit of understanding Judena received from others was more than she could ever hope knowing how her mind carried a burden for those around her. Especially those who choose to do more than tolerate. Dodging a shopper’s basket. A glare followed by the shopper. “If you do not mind, my young friend could we possibly move away from the market?” She leaned down to whisper, “I- [i]erm…[/i] Caused a bit of a scene here the other day and some of the merchants here do not appreciate my presence.” That prompted a surprised blink. “You’ve never been one for mischief.” Daro’Vasora replied quickly, looking for a quick way out of market stalls and somewhere quieter. “Might I ask what you did?” she asked, placing a gentle hand on Judena’s shoulder and helping guide her through the route she had mentally picked out. Judena winced with embarrassment, allowing Daro’Vasora’s guidance. “Oof. I humiliated myself by getting into a very heated argument with a merchant, he was attempting to sell [i]very fake[/i] dwemer pieces recovered from the Imperial City. I saw through it immediately, naturally. It turned into a spectacle that I had to walk away from, defeated.” Jude sighed patting her chest, “I blame my sour mood and temper getting the better of me. The stress of travelling from one disaster to the next had finally taken a toll on me.” “If people want momentos for other people’s suffering, let them be swindled.” The Khajiit replied, deciding that they were out of the scornful gaze of the merchants that weren’t overly fond of Judena. “Passions can run high, I understand, truly. We’ve been through a lot, and it’s not like those idiots will matter to us in a few days from now. Besides, the way things are going, very real pieces will be hitting the market in overwhelming supply in a few months. How do you think people are going to react when they find out they spent a month’s worth of savings on knock off crap they didn’t verify?” Daro’Vasora reasoned, offering a wink. “Way I see it, if you’re buying priceless artifacts from a street vendor, you don’t deserve the coin you’re spending.” “That is very solid reasoning and it lightens the embarrassment two fold. Thank you, Daro’Vasora. They should not concern me as they have had.” Judena said warmly, perspective shifting once again. “You always know just what to say.” They walked on, comfortably enjoying the other’s company. “I have something I wanted to discuss truthfully, and I understand the nature of our friendship has never been one to pry into our respective lives or pasts.” Judena began, “You and I share that common thread of keeping attention away from our hurts.” She paused thoughtfully, “If I am wrong you are free to say so, my friend. I would never want to jeopardize our friendship.” It was one way to look at it, the Khajiit supposed. “It’s more you don’t have pain if you move away from what hurts you. What’s this about?” she asked, not sure if she liked where this was going. Digging into her shirt she pulled free the wedding band she wore as a necklace, it was silver with a topaz gem. She held it up for Daro’Vasora to see, “In light of running from one disaster to the next it has put some old hurts into perspective. Caring about those who are not here.” “I am... Confused. I have been travelling with decades worth of letters written by my ex wife. I have not read a single one and never considered to read them until now. If we wake up tomorrow to our final day, I would die wondering what my ex-wife had to say.” Judena said with a small amount of wonder. “Would it be apologies? Anger? Hurt? Celebrating her new life with someone else? I have…” She said hesitated patting her chest where her logbook was. “Spent many sleepless nights wondering those very things.” “I want… I want to know but I also do not. Does that make any sense?” She clenched the ring in her fist holding it close. “I carry with me a heavy weight.” Daro’Vasora stepped closer to Judena, reaching out to put her hands over Judena’s, feeling the leathery scales beneath her own. Such different bodies on the outside, but very relatable fears and guilt on the inside. “If you never know, you control the narrative that suits how you wish to feel. If you wish to have courage, she left you kind words. If you wish to feel validated in your separation, they’re cruel. But as soon as you open the letters, you secede control. But you said it yourself; you may be at the end of the path, and you wish to know before your run out of time. You need closure, now more than ever. Pain fades, but even with your affliction, you need to reach an end.” Judena closed her eyes, “I-” She nodded furiously. She wanted to close it. Shed it away like an old skin. It was old, it was tired, it was painful. “Daro’Vasora - thank you. I knew my ex wife before -” she tapped her head. “Before this, with many other memories she remains there sharp and clear. It is a terrible tear to remember and to not. Split down the middle. It feels like being trapped in a pocket of time.” She nodded furiously again, “I hope, I truly [i]hope[/i] the letters will release that - that...” She searched for the word. “Tangled line, the knot.” She gestured at her chest. Daro’Vasora’s heart broke listening to Judena’s moment of vulnerability; she rarely considered the everlasting toll her memory must have extracted, and Judena’s perpetual kind and endearing nature were for others’ benefit. She was strong and selfless, and the Khajiit felt a pang of remorse for her own behaviour in contrast to Judena. Still, she pulled the older woman in an embrace. “You aren’t alone, and I’m not going to leave you without a friend. Do you want me there when you open them?” she asked quietly. “You would do that for me?” Replied, quiet as well, she returned the hug. “I would not know how to repay you for such a thing, my friend.” She held Daro’Vasora for a few moments before disengaging holding her out at arms length. “Anvil is not our little group’s final resting place but perhaps in the down time while we are on the road I will ask for your company while I read them. It gives me soaring comfort knowing I will not be alone.” “Comfort is coming from such strange places as of late, even Durantel back in Skingrad offered his own... [i]version[/i] of support. I find myself rereading that day in an effort to understand the dreary Altmer.” Noting the look of confusion in Daro’Vasora’s expression, Judena clarified. “Durantel offered to help Meg and I in gathering food and we had a very strange but respectful conversation.” She chuckled lightly, “With further hindsight, simply calling it strange is quite the understatement.” The tale was dubious, to say the least. Judena was no fool, but she also seemed to give everyone the benefit of the doubt when none was merited. Durantel was about as trustworthy as a deal with Sheogorath and with none of the charm. He didn’t just “help” people, that was for damn sure. “Look, it’s nothing, Judena. You’d have offered to do the same for me long ago if our positions were reversed… but Durantel doesn’t just offer to help people, especially when he’s a racial purist. What did he [I]say?[/I]” Daro’Vasora asked. She held up a talon, flipping knowingly back to Skingrad. “Well, I am glad I mentioned this to you because it is puzzling. Durantel especially is very difficult to read.” “We began to speak of religion, as you know quite well I am a staunch believer in the Hist. I was surprised he brought it up at all, possibly to help time pass while I fished. He volunteered to be my spotter while Meg - as we agreed - was quick of foot to continue searching for food while I waded into the spring.” She read from the page, finger following the lines of her neat and clean handwriting. “He kept referring to me as ‘Scaled-One’ which I suppose was not nearly as offensive to what he would be far more inclined to use.” Judena shrugged. “I mentioned my ex wife and he asked if I missed her.” She hummed at her previous decision at opening up about it to Durantel. “I said I missed the memory of her. He told me he missed someone dearly whom he assumed she thought he was dead.” “The conversation crept into stranger territory he asked how much my affliction weighed on me. He inferred that I did not want to live anymore with it. Suggesting that… An afterlife would be free of it. Then asked what my purpose was.” She said, there were notes of how shameful she felt at the time being asked that. “I wrote how ashamed I was to even consider his words. Then answered I would carry on as a river carries us all. He said, ‘I will not endeavor to cause you any further strife.’ Before offering his hand to shake, in which I did.” Judena said, “I am condensing the conversation down quite a bit, my notes observed my feelings and some of my thoughts naturally but the confusion still stands as to why Durantel spoke with me of such things in the first place.” She shrugged slightly, closing the log. “Your thoughts?” A chill ran down Daro’Vasora’s spine as she weighed the new information. The entire exchange was morbid and there was a sinister overtone to it, but Judena either seemed at peace with it or oblivious to the subtext of Durantel telling her that death would solve her issues. She didn’t want to upset her friend more than she already was, but she certainly didn’t want the Argonian to be caught alone with the Altmer again. “Don’t spend any more time alone with him, alright? Durantel is dangerous and I’m pretty sure he’s a fanatic, people like him don’t associate with people like [I]us[/I] out of the goodness of their hearts.” Daro’Vasora cautioned, feeling quite uneasy. “I don’t think he would hesitate to harm you if he felt he could get away with it.” Judena stood a little straighter, nodding solemnly at Sora’s warning. “I will, my friend. I will employ my mage armour and remain cautious. He has been avoiding me as of late I would be led to believe he does not want to be alone with me again either.” She patted her chest, pursing her lips. “I am not a warrior but I can defend myself if need be from sword and spell. Not a frail leathery sack quite yet.” Judena joked elbowing Sora gently. “Even when I do eventually lose my stride you will have to argue tooth and nail to convince me otherwise. Ha!” She laughed feeling the lingering indecision dissipate, realization striking her once again. “Daro’Vasora, you have been kind to listen to me today. The same is offered to you, I would understand if you needed to ease your conscious or unbottle certain things. Some of the best secrets are kept with someone who cannot remember them.” She offered in return, “It would not be the first I have offered as much to others.” [I]Oh, you know how it is, you have a friendly chat with the ancestors and learn that you don’t know what you’re doing with your life, I’m having an identity crisis, and I have this fantastic ability to hurt people I actually care about while burning bridges between people who mean well so thoroughly that it ensures I can never count on anyone for support. Not a big deal, I always figure things out. Nothing to ruffle your frills over, my Argonian friend.[/I] Daro’Vasora thought while shrugging impassively. “Oh, you know me. Nothing keeps me down for long, moving forward constantly means you don’t look back. I’m fine.” she lied, her impassive face as disinterested as ever. If there was one thing Daro’Vasora was good at that didn’t come out of a book, dodging deadly situations and picking just about every lock ever conceived, it was keeping her emotional state well concealed from the world when she didn’t want to appear vulnerable. Judena was sweet, but she also didn’t need to worry about the problems of a young and troubled women who made it extremely difficult to approach her earnestly. Daro’Vasora was an island, and she certainly didn’t keep the port open for long for others to reach her. She just learned how to deal with the isolation and bitterness that came with it. [I]You need to do better. Was this not exactly what you were told to change?[/I] she thought, finding herself smiling at the Argonian. The words were caught in her throat, and never leaving. “I’ll be sure to let you know.” Judena shared a thoughtful gaze, she hoped Daro’Vasora would always be faster than her problems. Could she truly outrun them? “I will be here when you are ready.”