Something in Ryan was growing gentler, not [i]fonder[/i] because he wouldn't allow himself to be that way but close to it - and the biggest downside to that was that the only way he could feasibly look was as if he held any real affection for Brendon. Which, he would argue 'til he died, he definitely did not. Maybe this was his mourning period. He hadn't actually had any soft, warm moments with Keltie for a while, and as much as he came off as an aggressive asshole that was what he generally went for - when they did come they were few and far between, since now his relationship had been so strained for so long. There: he wasn't, like, craving this kind of thing with Brendon or anything, fuck that notion. It was just that he hadn't experienced it in some time and the opportunity had presented itself. This, of course, didn't explain why his abrasive energy was dying out gradually, didn't explain why it didn't totally bother Ryan that Brendon had somehow become the target, but. Whatever. It [i]wasn't[/i] anything real, couldn't be.

He had a moment of weakness, though, sounding embarrassingly needy about the party again. It's not that he wanted Brendon to be there, really, just. Wasn't he supposed to be there? Wasn't it, like, his obligation to show up - not just there but at any of Ryan's events? That should've been a band rule, right? Everyone always in the same place... but there went his head again, trying to find excuses for Brendon to be around as much as possible. He didn't even [i]like[/i] the guy, and he was [i]annoying,[/i] clearly trying to kickstart the heat they started all of this with and sounding bothered when it wasn't working. Resistant to any efforts to undo his wind-down work, Ryan ignored Brendon's digging nails and the pushing bites in his kisses, pressing him more firmly against the cushions with unwavering hands on either side of him to continue his own agenda. Any kind of rigidity he tried to show, though, would probably go unnoticed now, considering Brendon was never going to let him live down practically whining about him not coming to the birthday.

Brendon was back at his neck and Ryan almost thought he was in the clear after all - almost. When he all but collapsed against his mattress, boneless, Ryan's dumb drunken hands continued with a mind of their own, raking fingers through his hair carefully. [i]First of all, you hate my guts, why would I go[/i] - funny he should say that, while Ryan was all sensitive touches but a fairly unfriendly gaze - [i]secondly, I wasn’t even invited. Neither was Jon. [/i]Jon. [i]What the fuck has Keltie got against Jon?[/i] Ryan pursed his lips. He was still pretty pissed about that, too. He certainly cared more about Jon than he did about the gaggle of random half-strangers she'd scrounged up seemingly off the street. Hell, a majority of the guests were her dancer friends that he didn't even know by name. It was bizarre. [i]He turning you gay too?[/i] Ryan's anger redirected again from Keltie back to Brendon, and he scowled down at him - an odd juxtaposition when he was still framing his face tenderly with one hand. [b]"You're real fucking bold, you know,"[/b] he mumbled, but Brendon kind of had a right to claim responsibility. Never before had Ryan been [i]quite[/i] this gay both in theory and practice, so.

Despite his distaste for Brendon's attitude he still kept on kissing him, uncontrolled by now, until he wasn't. He didn't actually have that strong of a moral compass that he really wanted to leave, anything like that; mostly he didn't know what he was doing here, had become confused by his own mindless actions. Brendon didn't look all that affected by his sudden change of heart. [i]Uh-huh.[/i] Ryan avoided looking right at him, mortified for whatever reason, but it didn't matter - a few beats later Brendon was pushing himself up forcefully and Ryan shifted away from him with a little surprise, granting him the right of way without thinking. He didn't get enough time to register he really didn't [i]want[/i] Brendon that far away and that may not be his decision anyhow but he'd already pushed him around plenty, what would it hurt another time - but. Too late, Ryan turned to watch Brendon move as far away as he could, pulled to attention when he drew the back of his hand over his mouth and feeling a vague sense of pride that he was to blame for that. 

[i]You’re really something.[/i] Their places changed so drastically, Ryan was closest to the headboard now, and he sat back against it, fixing his gaze anywhere but on Brendon. Yeah, yeah, he was difficult, he was an asshole, whatever, get on with it. [i]You can’t go all righteous now. Not like you can take any of that away.[/i] Sober he probably would've pretended to feel bad, but sober him also would not have come, so. Ryan just looked somewhat blank, catching his bottom lip between his teeth, the sting so much different when it wasn't Brendon. [i]Look, whatever. Go back to your girlfriend, play happy families with her for a bit.[/i] Well. He hadn't done that for a while. Ryan made a small, cynical sound, a half-laugh, and shook his head, turning his face to the ceiling and driving a hand through his hair. [b]"Sounds like it bothered you even more than it bothered me,"[/b] he commented dryly, then relaxed, returning his gaze to Brendon finally.

Not a good idea, because that's when Brendon chose to lean back, all angles and narrow when he caught himself by his elbows, smug. It was certainly an image to behold - but it also pissed Ryan way the hell off. [i]Do you think she’s better than me, Ryan?[/i] Ryan froze up, blinking at him sort of flatly, caught off-guard. He knew it was mean-spirited, was supposed to set him off, but something in his chest was twisting that wasn't necessarily him getting aggravated. Ryan searched his face for a long moment, unreadable. [b]"Yeah,"[/b] he answered in a new voice, more solid and clear, then tilted his head back a bit. [b]"I would've invited you."[/b] Two unrelated things, for the most part, but he was pretty sure he meant both. He forced himself not to think about the embarrassment, just maybe how it'd knock Brendon off his game too. Potentially. He tried digging a little deeper, meeting Brendon's eyes and looking casual as ever. [b]"I think about you more than I've ever thought about her. That what you were looking for?"[/b]