[right][sub][color=dimgray]Still Wednesday morning, before school...
Collab with [@Lovely Complex][/color][/sub][/right]
[center][img]https://i.imgur.com/eKRLILs.png?1[/img]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/0RsxslI.gif[/img]  [img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/180915/4c7f16430ba8d3f69dfee97f3ff82650.png[/img] 
[img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/180915/1ac6614996506c453f49a4bcd29c18a6.png[/img]  [img]https://i.imgur.com/F6a5wkX.gif[/img]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/oYYz2Wc.gif[/img]  [img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/180915/8bddbb70de8d0e628fa15600a1a9c34c.png[/img]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/iiDCV5o.png?1[/img][/center][indent]Damian put his car into park outside of Jericho and Amity’s house. He’d finished his trip with Trevor, talked to Ender and Jude… His day was off to a good start. Now, he’d pick Joy back up, get a kiss or two and a peptalk for good luck, and then tackle the big one: facing his mother. He wasn’t looking forward to it, because he knew it was going to go poorly. Really, all Damian could do was hope that his dad would be there for backup.

Dad would get it! He would understand. He’d been a teen before too. Mom though? Mom was gonna go ballistic and possibly slit his throat. Who knows? Shaking his head, Damian leaned over and threw open the passenger door for Joy to slide in. [color=309b75][b]“Hey, babe. I let you know that I was leaving, but I’m pretty sure you were still asleep… I dunno. I tried.”[/b][/color] He shrugged his shoulders, and looked toward the center console where the Super Bowl ring Joy’s father had given him was, no longer around Damian’s neck. [color=309b75][b]“But it’s done. Your Mom and Dad know and they approve. We’re good. I just have to talk to my mom…”[/b][/color]

Joy wanted to respond with something snarky like you could’ve tried harder, but she decided against being a petty girlfriend and support her boyfriend with with his endeavors. That fact that he survived her parents was impressive, and later on, she will ask more about it, but right now they needed to think strategy with his… passionate mother… and how he was going to calm her down. He’s the ex-football-quarterback. He totally got this in the bag. Before taking her seat, she leaned in and gave him a little peck. After she settled into the car, seatbelt and all, she asked, [color=6174ff][b]“Soooooooo… how are you going to explain not talking to her for a of couple days?”[/b][/color] Let’s get his mind thinking about the big issues she may point out. 

[color=309b75][b]“I’m gonna tell her I’m in love with you to make her happy for me instead of angry at me. My mom isn’t [i]that[/i] hard to deal with, usually. You just have to use the right tactics, you know? She gets passionate, so I’m just gonna give her something to be more passionate about: her son is actually, [i]truly[/i] in love. Should be good enough.”[/b][/color] He shrugged and started the drive back down the winding road that led up the Snyder mansion, [color=309b75][b]“if she really digs at me, I’ll just tell her I’ve been under emotional duress and also point out that Ender almost shot me with a gun. That should also distract her.”[/b][/color] Damian had his ideas, whether or not they would work was up to contention… but what was the worst that would happen? Mama wouldn’t ground him. Well, she could certainly try, but Dad would fight for him. The most he was going to have to do was weather the storm. The trump cards of ‘I fucked Joy,’ ‘I’m in love with Joy,’ and ‘my godfather wants to shoot me’ would hopefully be enough!

 [color=6174ff][b]“...aside from that, what are you going to tell her that you’ll do better in? This week hasn’t been a good week for you and I feel like your mom should know you’re not the one at fault. I doubt she follows everyone’s social media like Mitty does. Well, recently, she hasn’t because she’s been too focused on getting Owen back home. Then again… maybe your mom would stalk people to know your whereabouts. Hm.”[/b][/color] Joy started to talk to herself, trying to dissect a woman like Melody. What would she do if her son got detention, lost his status on the football team, and basically abandoned her, not even informing her about a party he was throwing at her beach house? What would she do…. so many questions, not enough time. 

[color=309b75][b]“Nah, she’s psycho, but she’s not [i]that[/i] psycho. Only when True’s involved. But I am a big strong man, I can take care of myself. I’ll let her know what went down, but it’s no big deal. I can weather the storm, whatever she wants to hit me with. Better me than Owen or someone gettin’ it rougher. I’m fine, whatever happens. I can’t say too much or she’ll call everyone else’s parents. Like, what if she got Henry’s moms and dad involved? Henry gets it bad enough from Alyssa, and I know he thinks Eve and Ty are against him right now. So I can’t have none of that. Trevor is like the Golden Child, Remy and Jareth can’t know that [i]he[/i] was one of the masterminds behind the party… I gotta make sure she thinks it was all me. That’s what a captain does, Joy. Leaders make their people feel safe, and I’m… I’m nothing if not a good leader!”[/b][/color] Damian shrugged his shoulders and gave her a smile and a shake of his head. [color=309b75][b]“Don’t worry about my mom, I’ll handle it.”[/b][/color] Damian wasn’t too worried about it… He was a teenager, and teenagers made mistakes — his mom could understand that, surely. He expected her fire to burn hot, but burn fast. Whatever punishment he received would break soon enough!

[color=6174ff][b]“You’re right. You are a great leader.”[/b][/color] Joy squeezed his leg in agreement.  [color=6174ff][b]“... I think I need to talk to my parents too, at some point. Especially my dad. I think my mom will only really care about contraceptives now that I think about it. She’s more on my ass about my grades than anything.”[/b][/color] The more Joy lived life, the more she started to understand her parents a little bit more. Maybe, she wasn’t completely afraid to talk them about… stuff! Okay, maybe part of her was still a little worried, but hell, her role model was her uncle and if there was anything he was good at, it was telling people what was what. At least from past experiences, Joy knew her mother never really argued with her uncle. Yeah, if her boyfriend can talk to his mom, she could talk to her dad! And then mom! Dad seemed like the bigger beast for her to fight in this moment, especially since he could’ve killed her boyfriend.

[color=309b75][b]“I think you’ll be fine. You’re the best, and your parents would be dumb to be mad at you over this. Hm.”[/b][/color] Hm, indeed. Damian had an idea forming in his head, but he wasn’t sure if it was a good one, or even if it would be helpful in the long run. But still… hm. [color=309b75][b]“I have two ideas. One of them needs your immediate agreement. Do you wanna come talk to my mom with me? You can be like the Mushroom in Mario. You can protect me from one hit, but probably nothing more than that.”[/b][/color]

[color=6174ff][b]“...sure.”[/b][/color] Of course, Joy didn’t want to get in front of the crossfire, but she honestly didn’t think Melody would harm her. Melody loved her too much. 

[color=309b75][b]“Great. Okay, second idea. Snake, call dad.”[/b][/color] He said to his assistant, and there were only two rings before there was an answer. 

[color=d32626][b]“Yo! What’s up, big dog? You ain’t called, you ain’t been around. Your mom is doing that thing where she cuts vegetables too hard… Not to mention you’re sleeping with Ender’s daughter which is like… dangerous, at best. Now that I think about it, she’s probably there, huh? If I were you, she’d be there. Hi, Joy.”[/b][/color]

 [color=6174ff][b]“... Hi. Just fyi, we’re on our way, and I want to make sure you got some juice on you. This is imperative to my life right now.”[/b][/color] 

[color=d32626][b]“There’s… some juice.”[/b][/color] Connor seemed to be thinking about it, but before he could get too far, Damian jumped back in.

[color=309b75][b]“Dad, I need you to do me a favor. Friday night. Dinner. Mom’s favorite restaurant. Me, you, mom, True I guess unless we think she can babysit herself finally, Joy, Ender, and Jude.”[/b][/color] Idea #2.

[color=d32626][b]“Bold move. But sure, I can do that. See you guys soon.”[/b][/color] Connor said, before there was a click, and Damian looked over at Joy.

[color=309b75][b]“Well, there you go. Two ideas, both of them seemingly operating flawlessly. Okay, we can either park in front of the house, or we can park two blocks down and make out for good luck.”[/b][/color] What? Damian had his priorities, and they certainly weren’t ‘get bitched at by mom.’ As he spoke, they turned onto the street where the O’Connor house was located.

[color=d32626][b]“Make this go without a hitch, then you’ll get all the ‘make out’ you want.”[/b][/color] Joy teasingly smiled. He needed to stay focus and kissing was not focusing. He had a game to play. That game was facing his mom. 

[color=309b75][b]“You may come to regret that.”[/b][/color] Damian muttered as he parked the car in front of the house, and threw open the door, absently checking his watch as he did so. Okay… so about an hour left before school? Hey, this one shouldn’t take more than ten minutes, realistically. Fast and hot. [color=309b75][b]“Alright, let’s go do it.”[/b][/color] With that, he led the way up the path to their front door, turning the already unlocked door and letting himself in.

[color=309b75][b]“MAMA? I’M HOME.”[/b][/color]

There was no response from Melody. Instead Taylor Swift was blasting upstairs. Shake It Off, specifically. 

Joy tugged at Damian’s sleeve, [color=6174ff][b]“Are you just going in and hoping for the best?”[/b][/color] Damian would know that his mother was most likely cleaning, which is the main time she blasts music throughout the house, but the music was coming from a distinct area in the house and there were loud ‘thumps’ in a very specific position in the ceiling. 

His bedroom.

[color=309b75][b]“Yeah, pretty much. That’s basically the ‘Damian special,’ y’know.”[/b][/color] He shrugged his shoulders. He wasn’t particularly worried about what his mom was doing in his room — Damian’s most important and prized possession was the superbowl ring sitting in his pocket. He took Joy’s hand and smiled at her, leading her toward the staircase. Sitting on the bottom stair was a glass of juice, which Damian picked up and handed to Joy. [color=309b75][b]“I guess that’s for you. It looks like tropical punch?”[/b][/color] He shrugged and led the way to his room without much more to be said.

[color=6174ff][b]“Oh, thanks.”[/b][/color] was all Joy replied. She graciously took her juice, with her free hand and drank. Her eyes glinted with intrigue as they got closer to the door. Truth be told, she assumed the worst and Damian’s room would be nothing but bare. That was her theory, at least. 

However, when they opened the door, it felt like a scene straight out of The Stepford Wives. His room was completely renewed. New sheets, no wrinkles. All his laundry done. All his trophies polished, or well being polished. There was a box where she was throwing things into, putting in storage, because she deemed it not necessary and only cluttered his room. His closet door was open, revealing new sets of clothes and shoes. His desk was completely straightened up and all his papers were filed, properly. If anything was crooked, it was definitely straightened. The wooden floor was surely waxed too. His mother even looked completely on point. Her face glowing, her makeup on fleek, and her [url=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8f/69/ed/8f69edc22784d4c95c834d51b5b9de0e.jpg]outfit[/url] as motherly as ever. Joy couldn’t read the situation. It didn’t seem bad at all, but Damian should know better. This wasn’t a ‘normal’ Melody reaction. Knowing very well that her son was in the room, she continued to polish his largest trophy, bobbing her head to Tay Swift and smiling. 

[color=309b75][b]“Hmmm, very dystopian of you… I’d make a Stepford Wives joke, but really, we both know even a perfectly obedient robot wouldn’t be as good for dad as you are.”[/b][/color] Damian frowned. He’d expected his mother to yell at him, and be loud and aggressive, not be cleaning his room. Speaking off… [color=309b75][b]“Hey, you know I had everything in orderly disorder. How am I going to find my things now? I don’t know how I feel about this. I’m [i]almost[/i] certain it’s an evil tactic against me. I’m not sure how, but I have a feeling.”[/b][/color] Damian glanced at his mother as he walked around his room, carefully observing the changes. There was probably something wrong — she was craycray. He knew that. Everyone knew that.

Finally, Melody responded, beaming a bright smile, her expression unperturbed, [color=2e8b57][b]“What do you mean? Me, evil tactics? [i]Hilarious.[/i] I’m just being a good mother, cleaning my son’s room. Doesn’t it smell so fresh and so clean?”[/b][/color] Joy took a sip of the juice and nodded her head. The room smelt like clean linen. It was nice. [color=2e8b57][b]“Welcome to my humble home, Joy. It’s good to see you.”[/b][/color] 

[color=6174ff][b]“You too.”[/b][/color] Joy was not going to interfere too much. She was simply a necessary weapon for Damian in this weird situation.

[color=309b75][b]“Evil might be a little strong, but I’m sure something is out of place.”[/b][/color] Damian sniffed the air and looked around the room, before walking over to the box she was throwing things in and kicking it as he looked down into it. [color=309b75][b]“Are you throwing my stuff away? That’s not… cool, y’know.”[/b][/color] He frowned and looked at his mother, folding his arms over his chest. [color=309b75][b]“I expected you to yell and shout, this is… different. I know you did [i]something[/i], I just haven’t figured it out yet. But, that’s okay. I just wanna make sure you know,”[/b][/color] Damian decided that it was time to poke the hornet’s nest, lest this weird interaction continue for longer than it needed to. Setting his mom off was usually easier than this, so he figured it was worth a shot. The right combination of words would probably at least get him yelled at, [color=309b75][b]“that I haven’t spoken to you for a while now because you always overreact and I had a lot on my mind and wasn’t ready to add ‘mom is yelling about how disappointed in me she is’ to that list of things. However, now that I’ve put out most of the other fires I started, I’m here and I’m ready to put this one out. So if you’re gonna yell at me, yell at me. If you’re gonna come up with some convoluted and unnecessarily extravagant punishment, hit me. But don’t be [i]weird[/i], especially not in front of my very first girlfriend.”[/b][/color]

Yet again, rather than acknowledge her son’s words, Melody stopped polishing his trophy, and started dancing and singing to the song blasting, going around the room in a scarily good mood, [color=2e8b57][b]“‘Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play; And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate; Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, I shake it off. I shake it off.”[/b][/color] She approached Joy, taking her juice out of her hand and cheesed, [color=2e8b57][b]“Dance with me!”[/b][/color] 

[color=6174ff][b]“Uh…”[/b][/color] Melody wasn’t going to take no for answer. 

[color=2e8b57][b]“How you’ve been? Is mom and dad good?”[/b][/color] 

[color=6174ff][b]“I… think so. Hey, are you okay?”[/b][/color] Joy held Melody’s hands, shaking her body, but still confused. Was this her version of cold shoulder or was she trying not to explode? 

[color=2e8b57][b]“Absolutely! You know what I’ve been doing for the past couple of days?”[/b][/color] The mother stopped from rambling, like she did, waiting for Joy’s response. In this moment, Joy regretted coming to this. This was some passive aggressive shit and it made her uncomfortable. She wasn’t even good at dancing. 

[color=6174ff][b]“Cleaning?”[/b][/color] What? It was the most obvious guess. 

[color=2e8b57][b]“I was just wondering when my son was coming home. Have you seen him? Because I haven’t! I’m sure if I saw him again, I would recognize him, right? Because the boy I raised I know very well and he was raised to know how to respect me. Ah! Oh well. I’ll just keep cleaning until he decides to you know, treat me right. Because it isn’t like me and his father pay for everything he has or like, makes sure that he has a roof over his head, food in his stomach, clothes on his back. Oh, oh, oh, but that’s okay. He’ll just live with some other family. I’m sure they do my job just fine.”[/b][/color] To this, Joy did not respond.

[color=309b75][b]“Ah, so it’s like that.”[/b][/color] Damian understood the game they were playing now. This made it easier, at least he knew what was going on, anyway. He forgot how his mom could get sometimes… He was going to say something, he really was. It would have been easy enough to apologize and fix this… but, his phone in his pocket buzzed with a text message. Damian pulled it out, and looked down at it, frowning. [color=309b75][b]“Hey, mom, this is like… just awful timing. I’ll apologize later, I don’t have time to do it well enough right now, but I, uh, gotta run. Trevor needs me.”[/b][/color] He offered a shrug of apology, because it was all he could give, and then gestured for Joy to follow him, turning to leave the room and the house. This fire could be put out another day.

[color=6174ff][b]“Seriously, Damian?”[/b][/color] Joy looked to her boyfriend, then to his mother whose right eye twitched. [color=6174ff][b]“Um, I guess I’ll see you later, Fairy.”[/b][/color] Maybe using her old nickname for her godmother would help the situation. Letting go of Melody’s hands, Joy scurried to her boyfriend, grabbing the glass of juice on the way out. [color=6174ff][b]“Is this really fucking important? I feel sorry for your mom.”[/b][/color] 

[color=309b75][b]“It’s a code red, S.O.S. It’s really fucking important to me. Mom will be fine, I’ll talk to her later, what’s the worst that could happen? She gets [i]more[/i] upset and passive aggressive? Whatever, I’ll handle it.”[/b][/color] Damian said, leading Joy down the stairs and back out to the car. He didn’t have time to deal with his mother right now, if she wanted to act like a child then he would deal with her when he had time to deal with a child. His friend needed him, and given the nature of the text, he could only assume it was, in fact, [i]really[/i] fucking important.

Before entering the car, Taylor Swift stopped playing and there was a loud screeching sound coming from upstairs and things crashing all over the place, even glass shattering, [color=2e8b57][b]“CONNOR, I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM. CONNOR, GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW. CONNOR!”[/b][/color] 

Joy nervously clenched her teeth: [color=6174ff][b]“Whatever you say…”[/b][/color] 

[color=309b75][b]“See, if she’d done [i]that[/i] to begin with, we would be fine. I can handle that. Acting like a baby and like I’m all ungrateful and stuff because I needed some ‘clear my head time?’ That’s a bit of a longer endeavor. That’s the mom I love.”[/b][/color] Damian started the car, and away they went.[/indent]