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Adelyn didn't move from her sitting, curled up ball position even when Laz made his way onto the deck. At this point, she didn't feel up to blasting him to the moon. She didn't really feel like doing anything at the moment really. Instead, she just tried to become more like a sitting armadillo than before and hide her face further. She wasn't sure what was worse right now, how she felt or the fact that she was acting so...weak in front of them. Let alone Laz. Which in turn made her feel worse.

The unsettling silence that set in after she had heard Laz sit down somewhere near her didn't particularly help in that regard either. Perhaps it was too much to expect a savage such as himself to say something, anything, to comfort her. Nor was she was sure why she would want him to. Perhaps because he was the one that had come looking for her after her, truth be told embarrassing, outburst? The more the silence dragged on, the more she had to think. Which she hated.

Thankfully, he finally broke the silence. His sudden and unexpected apology catching her off-guard. It just seemed so...well unlike him. Not just the apology, but the way he said it. At first, she didn't quite understand what he was apologising for, but as he continued to speak she slowly lifted her head. This was certainly a far more...mature line of thinking and speech that Laz was using. One that she thought beyond him, to be perfectly honest her opinion of him wasn't all that high anyway. To show more maturity than a five-year-old child would've been above her expectations. She was so surprised, she couldn't really do much other than sitting there and listen.

It was absurd to be honest, his 'escape plan'. Laughable in fact. Even she couldn't help but smile a little at it as she shook her head. And it would be difficult to find someone who wasn't moved, even a little, at the notion he put forward. It was mostly laughable because it would seem even with this sliver of maturity he had found...he still didn't quite understand.

[color=BFB4B0]"And go where exactly?"[/color] She asked, her voice cracking just so slightly. [color=BFB4B0]"My parents are dead. The Librarium have labelled me a traitor. My brothers will probably kill me on sight, not that one needed a reason to anyway. And my Uncle..."[/color] She paused at that one. She wasn't sure about that man, to be perfectly honest. She had never understood him. Nor did she know whether that traitor title had been applied to him or her brothers. Or, if she tried to seek his help, it might label him as such. Let alone, would he even help her?

No. She couldn't go to him. With family out of the question...that left nothing really. She knew nobody, a small side effect of having very little contact with people outside of her direct family or servants. And the occasional ball she went to. Any family friends or allies they had would quite likely turn her in, seeing as she's a traitor and all. She was more than aware she couldn't survive on her own...so, unfortunately, this was her best option.

[color=BFB4B0]"Besides...what irks me more than anything this motley crew can do, more than disturbing my reading, more than speak in such crude and vile language, more than being vulgar, barbaric savages...is decide for me. Worse still, betray me."[/color] Pausing and clenching her fists, she half turned to look at Laz's back.[color=BFB4B0] "Both of which that so-called 'Captain' did. He's no different from them. From my parents. That was all they ever did."[/color] She honestly couldn't think of a single significant decision in her life she had made up till now. Her parents seemed intent on her following her brother's footsteps...on becoming a Hunter, or at least a Cleric Knight. And, at the same time, being a graceful and sophisticated nobleman's wife. On becoming a mage. Honestly, she couldn't see how she could feasibly be all that but they had obviously thought otherwise.

[color=BFB4B0]"You're not the only one that doesn't understand me. They never did, either that or they simply didn't care what I thought. Even now, I'm stuck with constant reminders. That the choices I didn't even make...they've..."[/color] At those words, her tightly clenched hands were paler than a ghost. Contrasted by the small trickle of blood that dripped down from where her nails had dug into her palm.

[color=BFB4B0]"...I don't want, or need, someone to confide in. They'll just betray that trust eventually. I'm fine with being alone."[/color] She spoke in a brutally honest tone, her tightly held fists just releasing a little. Even if it wasn't all quite the truth, it was just hard to trust someone when she felt she couldn't. Even if she wanted to. [color=BFB4B0]"But even so, I know I can't make it by myself. Not when the government has effectively blacklisted you. I wouldn't even be able to go out in Public without being arrested. Leaving this ship is effectively a death wish. Then again, maybe death wouldn't be so bad."[/color]

At least in death, nothing that worried, hurt or burdened her would be a problem anymore. Who knows, maybe after the stunt she had pulled just before she would be kicked from the ship anyway. Not like she could really blame the Captain, insubordination was a serious offence. Let alone assault, undermining his authority, amongst other things. The more she thought about it, the more trouble she realised she might've gotten herself into. Oh well, it was no use worrying about it too much now. She had other things burdening her mind. And besides, whatever punishment the Captain would dish out was out of her control.

[color=BFB4B0]"Every time I give something, or someone a chance, it just seems to turn around and slap me...I just don't see a reason to."[/color] Besides, she had given this lot plenty of little mini chances. None of which had been taken thus far, so what was to be gained by giving them more? [color=BFB4B0]"Besides, there's a difference between that and what the Captain expects of me. Attacking a Librarium convoy would just solidify my traitor status beyond repair. And any chances of returning to the Librarium will be gone with it."[/color]