Now the string of admissions Ryan was making was less about the relief of getting it all off his chest and out in the air, more about seeing how Brendon would react, because each time was intoxicating. He couldn't quite tell whether he felt triumphant seeing him look slightly dumbfounded for a second each time, clearly not expecting the answers he was getting, or whether he was drawn to the way it clearly affected him at least a [i]little[/i] - the more brutally honest and bold he got, the more he seemed to knock Brendon off his guard, and it felt way better than pissing him off ever did. This was nothing compared to the faint exhileration whenever he could get Brendon to snap or yell back at him or storm off angrily. This was new, different, and Ryan was pretty sure he'd found a new favorite way to talk to Brendon. Though maybe whispering whatever he was imagining at the moment to Brendon may not be ideal when they were in front of their bandmates... whatever, they'd already annoyed them to no end, may as well disgust them.

Ryan's first illustration of his imagination apparently went down well; Brendon shut his eyes for a moment, evidently trying to paint it himself. Ryan smiled at him, amused and knowing all at once, wondering at how much ammunition he had left. This could go on for a while, really. [i]What a pretty picture.[/i] Ryan almost let go something stupid about how Brendon was kind of a pretty picture all by himself, but. Really, too much. He was already on something of a roll. His gaze dropped to his mouth for the umpteenth time, really all Brendon's fault because he let it hang just slightly like that, and he bit his own lip tentatively, mind wandering. It wasn't all just that kind of thing in his head - wasn't all just sexual and messy and completely reflective of their subtextual relationship. It was also the kind of thing he was sure they'd never be, the kind of thing that'd never be okay to say: stuff about how he wished he knew what his truest and most genuine smile looked like, how his stage presence made Ryan feel weightless even from the sidelines, how he envied his personality sometimes. Stupid things he was sure wouldn't do the same damage as admitting this stuff. He was sure it'd just send Brendon out the door (or more accurately send Ryan into getting kicked out). 

[i]You know, that’s pretty vague. And that’s okay. I’m a visual learner.[/i] Ryan arched an eyebrow, decided to characteristically be a smartass. [b]"I prefer the kinesthetic approach. Hands-on, you know. I can be a lot less vague then."[/b] He was grinning again, probably sleepy-drunk at this point and therefore shouldn't be teasing any kind of activities he wouldn't be able to carry out, but. It was fun, and he'd already started some kind of streak. [i]Thank you,[/i] darling. He knew what Brendon was mocking and he had a moment of weakness, his smile flickering into completely different territory before he controlled himself. It's not like he necessarily wanted that. They were screwed up beyond fixing. Anything that could be described as a romantic relationship would be far too toxic even if they worked on their issues now - nothing better than, say, the waste of his time that his current-ish relationship was. But it was nice to imagine, alongside everything else he was plucking up the courage to say aloud to Brendon. He tuned in in time to catch Brendon's matching kiss against the corner of his mouth, and it felt almost intimate - though at this point he was probably making it all up. He put on a smile, putting off emotions for the time being.

[i]You know what, you’re right. Your thirsty ass is always[/i] very [i]happy to see me whenever I’m shirtless on the tour bus.[/i] [b]"True,"[/b] Ryan offered, weighing his head to the side. [b]"Now you know what I'm thinking when that's the case, I feel like I'll be seeing it a lot more. Tease."[/b] He could've guessed that before, but now it was kind of confirmed. Not just that, but also the whole bottom ordeal - it was a little sad how obvious Brendon could be. He called him on his princess behavior, met by embarrassment first, then - shockingly - a brave show of courage. [i]And I deserve to be treated like one.[/i] Ryan laughed a little, his hand dropping from the back of Brendon's head and landing at the small of his back, coaxing. [b]"Sure, but usually in my imagination I'm not treating you exactly like royalty."[/b] He watched again, amused, for his reaction, still testing the waters freely. It'd become sort of a game, really. 

When offered an alternative his only answer was to latch back onto Ryan's neck, and Ryan let his head thump back against the wall involuntarily, shutting his eyes. In the back of his mind lived the vaguest concern about how he'd hide the inevitable harsh purple spot on his skin, especially when anyone who'd see it would know of his mysterious disappearance tonight, but. He couldn't quite bring himself to care enough to stop Brendon. Instead he kept talking, inhaling sharply when he left a punctuating bite over the already formed bruise, dragging his fingers loosely down Brendon's back while he re-settled with his arms strewn over Ryan's shoulders. He re-opened his eyes when he felt their foreheads rest together, almost startled by the closeness, blinking to focus on the darkness of Brendon's gaze, his bright honey versus Brendon's coffee-hued. His instinct was to kiss him, or something, but this felt maybe a bit more intense than that. 

[i]I think I’ve thought about it more than you’ve actually done it with Keltie.[/i] It wouldn't have been funny to the complaining Ryan from minutes ago, but now he grinned right back at Brendon, dazzled by his smile until it was gone and his own faded, too. Somehow he felt like the one under the spotlight, even when they were kind of level now. [i]I want to be feeling it for days afterwards.[/i] Ryan's smile had completely disappeared, then, suddenly looking very serious, a little intimidated by how easily he'd become so forward when it had taken Ryan forever to get to where he was. He opened his mouth a little, trying to come up with something smart quick, but stopped before restarting. [b]"So you will be,"[/b] he said with as much nonchalance as he could muster, but still. These were kind of unrealistic promises to be making when he'd probably bust a breathalyzer. [i]I quite like the position we’re in right now.[/i] Ryan furrowed his brow, shifted his eyes to look between them, where Brendon looked so comfortable in his lap he may as well have lived there. Ryan smirked, the pressed foreheads suddenly much less daunting a position. [b]"A power bottom's still a bottom, princess."[/b] And he gave in to temptation, kissed him briefly with a hand wrapped around the back of his neck and the other hooked in his waistband tentatively, all careful with no real bite.