Oh hey look, I got bored and wrote a post in a possible future set twenty-five years down the line instead of, you know, writing an actual post like I should be doing. Enjoy. Or not. I dunno.

[hider=Red Hood Beyond or: Uni Shamelessly Rips Off Max Payne 3]
[center][color=black][b][u]12:01 AM; November 3rd, 2050
Back To The 2010s Club; Tijuana, Baja California[/u]
[i]'These kids only like the 2010s because they weren't alive for them.'[/i][/b][/color][/center]
Nostalgia clubs. I never really got the purpose of those. Is it so the people who were alive then can party like it's forty years ago? I figured most of the people who were in their twenties then would prefer to be napping nowadays. Maybe it's so the latest generation can get loaded while listening to their grandparents' music? If so, they're listening to some shit music. Even all that synth-whatever the kids are listening to these days would be better.

I'm guessing it's the latter, because as Giovanni pushes the door open and revels in the atmosphere, all the people I see are half my age. He leads us through the crowd, people dancing to [url=https://youtu.be/e914MU9MCoQ?t=19]the beat of the music[/url], if you can call shimmying in place "dancing". Ed said that he'd stay with the chopper, but by now I was wishing he had come with me so I wouldn't be the only person in the club over thirty, and even then I'd still be the oldest person in the room by a decade. [b]"Let's go!"[/b] Gio shouted, throwing his hands into the air as he began to lead us forward. Gabriela and her sister, Isabella, followed close after him as I pulled up the rear.

One guy who looked like he'd had four drinks too many stumbled up to Isabella, reaching out to grope her chest. I stepped in, and what he ended up grabbing was me. After a few moments of mindlessly squeezing my gut and probably realizing "hey, these aren't tits", he looked up, eyes widening as he caught sight of my scowling face. I lifted a hand and shoved him to the ground, before following after Gio and the girls and massaging my temples. Between the painful music, the flashing lights, and the drunken idiots, I needed to get a drink fast.

Gio led us to the bar, where he and the girls took a seat. I held up a hand before they could order. I needed to drink first... You know, in case they had poisoned the booze. [b][color=black]"Uh... Un esc... Un escocés, por favor."[/color][/b] The bartender looked at me in confusion, while Giovanni and the girls laughed. I furrowed my brow in confusion. [color=black][b]"What's so funny?"[/b][/color]

[b]"You just ordered a [i]Scotsman[/i], amigo,"[/b] Gio said in between bouts of laughter.

I gave a dry chuckle. [b][color=black]"Heh. Alright, well tell him I want a scotch."[/color][/b]

Giovanni had a few words with the bartender, before the bartender made me my drink. He and the girls ordered theirs while I downed mine and quickly gestured for the bartender to pour me another. Now this was more like it: a drink, so I could drown out the incessant chatter of soulless people over piss poor music in a gaudy night club. Gabriela and Isabella left to go catch up with some friends; Giovanni drank his beer while surveying the room, before turning to me. [b]"... How do you do it, Dave?"[/b]

I pulled the shot glass from my lips to answer him, some of the scotch leaking out of my mouth. [color=black][b]"Do what?"[/b][/color]

[b]"How do you get girls? Guy like you, I bet you've made time with some nice chicks in your life."[/b]

I paused, shaking my head. [color=black][b]"No, no not really. Never really did that kinda stuff past my high school years. Too busy doing... Things."[/b][/color]

[b]"No shit?"[/b]

[color=black][b]"No shit,"[/b][/color] I replied, downing the rest of my drink and getting some more.

[b]"I figured you would've been married or some shit, man."[/b]

I clutched the glass tightly at that. [color=black][b]"... I considered it, once. I was nineteen or so."[/b][/color]

Gio quirked an eyebrow, as if curious. [b]"Really? What happened?"[/b]

I took a long drink at that. [color=black][b]"Didn't work out that way."[/b][/color]

[b]"That sucks, man..."[/b] He stayed silent for a moment, before he said, [b]"You know, I'm in love with a woman, but I haven't told her."[/b]

[color=black][b]"You should. Life's too short to let things go unsaid. Then you just think about the what-could have-beens."[/b][/color]

[b]"No, she's... With another man."[/b]

I quirked my eyebrow in a very Kasimir sort of way. [color=black][b]"Didn't figure that'd stop you. Guy like you, I bet you've made time with married women before,"[/b][/color] I echoed.

Gio sneered as I chuckled at his expense. [b]"Yeah, fuck you too, Dave. I'm gonna go catch up with the girls."[/b]

[color=black][b]"Yeah, you do that, pal."[/b][/color] As Gio walked away, I let out a sigh of relief. Thank God. I didn't need to be offering advice to the kid. I was the last person you went to with your troubles about life. Only thing I'd be able to teach him was how to kill a man in a hundred different ways, how to destroy your liver, and how to rip your family apart.

As I finished off my latest glass, something in the back of my mind kicked in and the world slowed down around me. I noticed how there were a group of guys clustered around Gio and the girls that were wearing black beanies and raggedy clothes, clashing heavily with the designer suits and dresses the rest of the patrons wore. I was already setting my glass down and moving forward when the guys pulled their beanies down... Except they weren't beanies.

They were ski masks.

My gun was out and I was maneuvering through the crowd to get a clear shot, when one of the men cleared it for me by firing his revolver into the air. Three of them grabbed Gio and the girls, throwing bags over their heads, while the crowd screamed and scattered at the sound of gunshots. I aimed my pistol and fired off a few rounds at the guys who didn't have my charges; they went down like flies, but the ones that were left held Gio and the girls as human shields. I couldn't get a clear shot.

Just as I was about to break out into a sprint towards them, gunshots went off behind me. On instinct, I fell to the ground and rolled onto my back, firing at the attacker and putting him down. But as I picked myself up, the kidnappers were gone. [color=black][b]"Son of a..."[/b][/color] I burst into a sprint in the direction I saw them heading, picking up one of the fallen thugs' revolvers along the way. Two guns in hand, I gave chase.

[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLxXqEZ5OoA]I burst into the next room[/url], pistols at the ready. My legs burned, my side ached, and my arms were about to complain too; there were at least a dozen guys throughout the room, all taking out the club's patrons and staff. Much as I hated to let those bastards get away with the people I swore I'd protect, I couldn't let them kill these people either. Plus, the bullet that just grazed my cheek might've made me want to get more than even.

I charged forward and threw myself into the air over a set of stairs, two guns blazing as I flew to the ground. I hit the neon dance floor with a thud, letting out a bark of pain. One of the crooks ran forward, firing the machine gun in his hand. I had just half a second to roll to the side, coming to a stop on my left arm and shooting him in the head with the revolver. It was empty now; I tossed it and pulled myself to my feet, shambling forward while clutching my left shoulder and firing blindly.

I was lucky to hit a few more guys before I had to reload, taking cover behind a bar as I did so. After catching my breath, I took in one last gulp of air before jumping up onto the bar. Time slowed to a crawl around me as I leapt up into the air, firing at the remaining thugs while thinking to myself how much this landing is going to [i]suck[/i]. Fortunately, I had taken them all out in the span of three seconds, saving a dozen innocent lives. Unfortunately, I was ten feet in the air and about to land on the cold hard ground.

[color=black][b]"ACK! FUGGIN' SHIT!"[/b][/color] I sat up, clutching at my leg. I moved it around a bit, thanking whatever Gods existed that I didn't break it again, but still, things were about to be a little tougher for me from here on in. Sucking it up, I reloaded my Beretta and limped forward, grim determination in every step. I said I'd protect Gio and the girls and Goddammit, I was [i]going to[/i].
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