Initially Ryan had been tentative to show any signs of weakness Brendon could turn against him later on; now they seemed on equal playing grounds, and everything felt a whole lot less threatening from this angle. He didn't want to pull away to reaffirm his status as some kind of threat, and he didn't want to bite behind every kiss or scratch behind every touch just to make sure nothing between them was gentle. He wasn't afraid anymore. Anything that was biting or had an edge to it otherwise was purely coincidental, was the way they chose to operate anyway - there was no double meaning behind it this time, nothing about it was backing up some kind of upper hand or maintaining anyone's pride. He liked this dynamic, too. Just, any avenue they'd explored together thus far... maybe it was just Brendon that he liked. That was a bizarre thought. Ryan didn't immediately shove it away, too curious and desperate for a change, but he thought Brendon would hate to know what was on his mind. Fuck. That was grounds to make him mentally run along. 

[i]Fuck you.[/i] Ryan's gaze on him was probably too comfortable, too fond, drifting to soft and fantastical places even when he was having [i]this[/i] conversation and he felt [i]this[/i] awful. He was just thinking - he hadn't seen Brendon with anyone in the time they'd been in the band, or if he had, it was nothing particularly special or long-lasting or truly romantic. He had no shoes to put himself into, namely, no one to imagine taking their place. So his imagination ran wild, more wild than the one he so apprehensively presented to Brendon the night previous; he was thinking about how they'd be in that situation, how he could wake up with every morning like this one. They'd probably still argue, occasionally, but it'd turn into bickering, and they never picked on anything important to fight over so if things were different, the issues would dwindle so much quicker, hard feelings would fizzle into kisses and carelessness. He'd be able to hold Brendon like this, see the smile he'd only recently been introduced to, maybe see it at full power or hear his wholehearted, genuine laughter. Ryan just, wanted.

But he was being too obvious. After a few moments he blinked, once slowly then in quick succession, and his hand on Brendon's chest stilled from the soothing circles his thumb had been running over his skin. [i]’Cause he has sex hair, god, what a[/i] mess. It was hard to pretend like he wasn't totally drawn to [i]that.[/i] Sounded sarcastic, but really, this playful part of them was getting to him. Ryan cracked up, pulling the receiver far enough away from his mouth just in time to get away with it, and shifted over Brendon punishingly. One hand rose to his head, self-concious, to stroke through the very confused curls, and he appeared to be right. [b]"So do you,"[/b] Ryan replied at another pause in conversation, clearly investing his mind more to what Brendon was saying than the more crucial topic at hand on his phone. And, because Brendon's hair was pristine, he quickly ruffled his fingers through his hair until they were even. [b]"See?"[/b] he mouthed, raising his eyebrows in amusement.

Brendon called him, silently, on his totally not being sorry. Yeah, he knew him too well. Ryan chose not to honor it, though, sticking to his guns and trying to at least appear a little bit less heartless. [i]I don’t get why you didn’t just break it off earlier.[/i] Ryan chewed his lip, thoughtful, and that was a good question. He supposed he wanted to be in a relationship, wanted to look like he was able to commit to something even if it was eating him up inside. And his relationship with Keltie had definitely left him raw and jaded. In fact, he'd had plans to not start anything up again at least for a [i]long[/i] time until this, with Brendon. Not that he was planning to start anything with Brendon, either, just - he wasn't so afraid to have feelings, even if the direction they were going was... unexpected, to say the least. In response, Ryan just sort of shrugged, helpless. He should have broken it off long ago... and he should have followed his heart and done this with Brendon earlier, maybe ended up with him instead even though that ws a weird as hell image in his head. Still. It was nice, in theory. 

In response to room service, Brendon popped up adorably fast, and Ryan instantly grinned at him, a quick turn from the morose look he'd adopted at the thought of Keltie. He let his eyes close, comfortable, when Brendon landed a few kisses on his neck, up to his jaw, leaning in to him easily. [i]Thought you’d never ask, baby.[/i] If Ryan had some sense, the same alarm bells would be going off in his head, but his own thought processes had already run off the rails. He was [i]way[/i] past just an accidental pet name. As it were, he felt his heart skip a beat, charmed, and let his breath rush out weakly as Brendon drew him closer to speak into his ear. [i]Though I did already have breakfast planned.[/i] Ryan's eyelashes fluttered and he turned his head, mindlessly pressing his lips to the side of Brendon's face. [b]"'Baby,'"[/b] he repeated quietly, as if Brendon hadn't been totally gross a second ago. [b]"I like that. And - you're funny if you think we'll be able to bend enough for that. Seriously, rein it in."[/b] He was snickering, almost, still leaned up against Brendon, his forehead pressed to his temple when he uncovered the receiver and started listening to Keltie again.

She was still going, something about [i]you do this all the time, you can't make a decision for yourself like an [/i]adult[i] so you panic and push me away,[/i] so he cut into her talking. [b]"I'm making a decision,"[/b] he said clearly, and he supposed if he dwelled on that a little longer he'd realize the double meaning, feeling Brendon everywhere and tangled with him uselessly. As it were, he only let it apply to him and Keltie for now. [b]"I don't want to do this anymore. That's all. I'm sorry."[/b] He hung up and dropped the phone aimlessly onto the mattress, then wrapped one arm around Brendon's waist securely, the other finding the side of his face to cradle. He brushed his thumb over the corner of his mouth attentively, studying his features close-up without reservation for once. [b]"Hi. I'm sort of an awful person."[/b] That was, indeed, a terrible approach to breaking up with someone. He supposed that relationship in particular didn't need any sort of sensitive split, though, so maybe it didn't matter. After a pause, Ryan tried to move on, continue the most civil conversation he'd ever had with Brendon - while basically [i]holding[/i] him. Weird day. [b]"Which do you prefer, pancakes or waffles?"[/b]