Okay, so, after looking most of it over, [@Terminal] your character is looking fine. The only thing that I'd warn against is using your custom spell with impunity, since it [i]is[/i] a particularly powerful spell, given its effects. Also, side note: I really like the concept of approaching the history section as a series of testimonies rather than a book-style. I'd give him a [i]little[/i] more equipment than just the literal clothes on his back. After all, the trek to Skyrim through the Pale Pass into Helgen is decidedly [i]not[/i] a warm one.

[@The Revenant], as for your sheet as it is right now (I assume you're waiting for my answer before you complete history), under [b]Minor Skills[/b] you've actually listed Skyrim perks, not a huge deal. If you want to dual-wield, that is perfectly acceptable, you don't need to use a skills slot for that. Thunder Storm is actually Lightning Storm, and I think it'd be out of your character's grasp as far as spells go, as would Thunderbolt and Lightning Cloak, though the rest are acceptable. You'll also need an explanation on the One Handed Mastery, though I have no doubt that you'll be able to explain that with his nigh-240 year lifetime.

As for [b]Affiliations[/b], there are some...very contradictory ones in there. The Order and the Whet-Fang do [i]not[/i] get along with, per the [url=http://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Manifesto_Cyrodiil_Vampyrum]Manifesto Cyrodiil Vampyrum[/url] they are, and always will be, enemies, so one of 'em has to go. Eventually, The Blades [i]might[/i] have an issue with the vampirism, and given the close living quarters would certainly notice during the training and selection process, so you'd either have to explain, or drop it.

As for for the [b]Equipment[/b] section, all I need explanations on is are the Mithril Dagger (Kinda a rare item), and the Bone Hawk Amulet/Rashka. Otherwise, it's fine so far.