Brendon hadn’t been in a serious, committed relationship during his time in the band, and, if he thought about it- at all. Not as long as the other members, and especially not as long as Ryan, who was kind of infamous for having an eyebrow-raisingly long string of girlfriends. It wasn’t like he wasn’t attractive or ‘boyfriend material’, and it wasn’t that he wanted to stay single, he just- he didn’t know. When Brendon thought about it now, lying there on his back with Ryan comfortably straddling him, with a soft, gentle mood in the air, as they behaved like lovers- maybe he was too busy being Ryan’s to fall for someone else. His mouth quirked as he played with that theory in his mind; last night, he wouldn’t even have admitted to himself that he was even attracted to Ryan, let alone that he was capable of feeling this kind of fondness towards him. For a second, he considered bringing up reasons to loathe Ryan in his head, but miraculously, he couldn’t. His head was in the clouds, in some kind of unearthly place that rendered him unable to criticise Ryan at all. Some remnants of stubbornness stuck to him, though, and his mind intrusively dismissed that as the afterglow from the night prior. To admit anything else was too large a leap right now.

The light atmosphere was persistent, though, not at all unpleasantly. Brendon was playful, teasing, and watched with some mix of amusement and affection as Ryan raised his own hand to draw briefly through the chestnut curls of his hair. He was- beautiful. The sun was still streaming in, and though he had to squint sometimes, it flushed Ryan’s skin golden, and his eyes a rich, dark honey, illuminated. Brendon’s eyes trailed slowly to his hands and suddenly he had new associations with them he knew then he’d never be able to let go or forget about. He felt a strong urge to draw him down and kiss him, but he managed to resist it, just let himself look obviously distracted by his mouth as he spoke. [i]So do you.[/i] Brendon automatically struggled to reach up and check the truth of the statement just as Ryan did, but the other beat him to the chase and ruffled his hair up further, to which Brendon responded with a low, puppy-like whine of complaint, batting Ryan’s hand away and shaking his head to let the locks fall out of his eyes, one pesky curl falling completely over his face. He gave up on trying to fix it and just looked up, unimpressed, at Ryan. [i]See?[/i] [b]”I can pull it off.”[/b]

Brendon wondered in passing what would have happened if Keltie had broken it off with Keltie a lot sooner like he should’ve, at the first signs that he was more her per project than committed partner, or the love of her life. He pursed his lips, considerating berating him for it again- but he’d said his piece, he said it last night. And that had lead to this morning. That lead him to believe that if he had broken it off months before, neither of them would have the guts nor emotional awareness to admit their feelings for eachother, buried deep, deep underneath the outer shell of aggression and vindication. Again, he supposed it didn’t matter much now- they were here, tangled with eachother at late morning in Brendon’s hotel room, together. And it was nobody’s busisness but there’s. The very thought made Brendon’s heart flutter ridiculously, made his stomach turn over and his mind crowd with butterflies, unable to focus on any one coherent thought but Ryan for more than a few seconds. It was nobody’s business but theirs. Brendon caught himself before he got too emotional and reminded himself that until late last night, apparently, they loathed eachother entirely, attracted or not. Maybe this was temporary. It was no use to think too deeply about it- Brendon had always lived in the moment.

For a moment he was morose, thoughtful, but then there was the potential of food being delivered to them, and he was suddenly very aware of his empty stomach. In record time, he propped himself up on his elbows and then struggled to a sitting position and rested his back against the headboard, dragging Ryan with him as he leaned in simultaneously to plant appreciative kisses along any skin he could comfortably reach. He inhaled sharply- almost nervous, apprehensive to observe Ryan’s reaction to his pet-name slip up- as Ryan turned his head and pressed his lips against the side of his face. [i]Baby.[/i] Brendon held his breath, closed his eyes, ready to formulate some bullshit excuse, or apologise, or something. [i]I like that.[/i] An exhale of relief, and Brendon wrapped an arm around the back of Ryan’s neck, bent and hooked at the elbow, hand resting on his opposite shoulder, drawing him even closer. Maybe this was a little impractical, since Ryan was still mid-conversation with Keltie. [b]”Me too,”[/b] Came his barely audible response. He was almost nervous.

[i]And - you're funny if you think we'll be able to bend enough for that. Seriously, rein it in.[/i] Was that a challenge? [b]”Hey, where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?” [/b]Experimentally, Brendon shifted suddenly where he sat, and attempted to extend his legs out further. Turns out, Ryan was right, and after he’d recovered from wincing at the strain of his muscles and the amplification of his dull, constant ache, he nodded sheepishly. [b]”I don’t think I’ll be able to bend enough for anything,”[/b] Brendon mumbled morosely, clicking his tongue and glancing thoughtfully at the bedroom door and then at the blinds. [b]”That means you’ll have to go and meet room service. And close the blinds. Bottom privilege.”[/b] Grinning, he rested his head with a slight thud against the headboard, and watched with a raised eyebrow and a slightly parted mouth that was twitching at the corners as Ryan uncovered the receiver of his phone and reluctantly decided to pay attention to Keltie.

[i]I’m making a decision. I don’t want to do this anymore. That’s all. I’m sorry.[/i] Brendon opened his mouth the very moment after Ryan hung up and let his phone bounce on the mattress, but he didn’t even get a chance to speak, charmed speechless as Ryan wrapped an arm comfortably around his waist like it was the most natural thing in the whole world. Lifting his head up slightly from the headboard, he remained enamoured and silent- Ryan was so close, and Brendon never realised that being this close to him made it so difficult to breathe. [i]Hi. I’m sort of an awful person.[/i] His voice, too, it was low and rough and- god forbid Brendon admit it- [i]sexy[/i], and he could do nothing but stare dumbly at him, a million witty comments on his tongue silenced. That was a dangerous power to have over him and Brendon wasn’t sure he even cared. [b]“I-”[/b] He had to look away and stare past Ryan briefly to find his words, [b]”I’ve been telling you that for years.”[/b]

[i]Which do you prefer, pancakes or waffles?[/i] His eyes lit up and he moved both hands to curl naturally around his hips, lying back again against the headboard, considering his options. Thoughtful, he tilted his head back, exposing his neck and throat for a few moments before he pressed flush against Ryan’s chest; tightening his grip on Ryan to keep him upright and not dependent on the headboard, he leaned in to trail kisses along the side of his face, making a path towards his mouth and speaking inbetween pauses. [b]”Why not,”[/b] He murmured, pausing right before he leaned in to engage him in a warm, happy kiss, [b]”Both?”[/b]