[@Sewer Rat]

I strongly, strongly urge you to follow [url=https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/]this[/url] link to speak with someone who can and will actively help you. It is free and they are experts about finding people other, better, safer solutions to their trouble. As [@Heat] said, things will get better and an ultimate solution is not the answer; suicide does not resolve anything. People do care about you, even those of us here who you do not know and have likely never spoken with at large.