[@PandaBrady]

[url=https://docs.google.com/document/d/1R0dlICOfQQAHleIMeZg_0WHBMxA1-JfW3kKIajktfVA/edit]Doc in question[/url]

I have looked over your sheets and here are my thoughts:

Not a fan of Alexander. His father researching ways to make magic more accessible, backed by the council, just doesn't jive with the past/current attitude toward magic.

There is also the issue with the sword, but that was already vetoed and addressed. That aside, I'm not sure if operating on his 11-year-old son and then handing him a sword of all things is even in the realm of rationality,Then...the quality of the rest is questionable. If the lab had been attacked while he was unconscious, why was he not killed/kidnapped/ect? Then dying words, a random ambush and somehow the 11-year old just stabs him and...then absorbs the fire from the lab? (which is by the point, probably natural) and sets off on his vengeance quest? eh...

I understand what you were aiming for with Alvina but, judging from her backstory, I'm not convinced you can write her well enough. Veto'ed unless Zarkun or Marsh say otherwise.

Tristen is great. I like his goal and theme. I like how his goal is clear and his magic is equally versatile, strong, and potentially humorous. 

Devin's overall magic is fine, but I not so sure about parts of Snatch, Poltergeist, Gespent, and Necromancy. You've bundled mind-control, possession, mind-reading, Necromancy, and whatever Gespent is, in a magic that is seemingly unrelated and strong enough on it's own. I realize this ties into his backstory but I'm sorry to say that the potential for abuse is too great. Although, I do like his story, ironically I think it would make more sense if he was younger. 16 when he started then 22 when he was caught is odd.

Nina is troublesome. I like the thought behind her, but much like the others, execution needs work.

How about, as a weakness, she has to *keep* reading (even if it's the same lines over and over) to make whatever it is last unless used with Permanence. If she stops or interrupted, it vanishes. 

Backstory, common villager's reaction at this point in time to magic is fear and hate. Although depending how real that was...

uh

I'm not sure what happened after that. I cannot make heads or tails of the rest of the story. I can say that telling someone you just overwrote her memories and that you have the ability to do so is a terrible idea if you are trying to gain trust.

Overall, I liked the common themes seen and the pieces present in everyone's story, but your writing quality doesn't quite yet live up to the scope you are attempting. Bravo for going big, but perhaps you might want to try to start smaller and a little less ambitious?

Anyway, this is just my opinion. I'm only a volunteer evaluator, [@MarshiestMallow] and [@Zarkun] are the ones who have the final say in things.

This is here because Discord has a character limit. Smh. I'll ping you there too.