Crow flinched at Penelope’s sharp tone when she responded to his question. He felt his heart drop a bit as she seemed to confirm that she didn’t approve of this new change in him, and he continued to look away, unable to meet her gaze. He wished he didn’t care so much. What business was it of hers to accuse him of anything when he was only doing what was necessary to protect his people? She had trained since childhood to do the same for hers. Was he supposed to stand back and watch the villagers die, just because he wasn’t a knight?

His initial shame began to give way to anger as he prepared to defend himself, but before he could say anything, Penelope spoke again in a gentler voice. The switch caught him off guard, so for a moment, he just looked up again to stare at her. Sitting across from her now, he couldn’t help but think about the way they used to be with each other. The softness of her expression reminded him of the way she used to look at him, and her concerned tone reminded him of the way she used to speak to him.

He found himself suddenly longing to open up to her again and tell her everything—how difficult the war had been, how his issue with blood had gotten worse before it had gotten better, how he wished he hadn’t have needed to make some of the decisions he’d had to make… how he wished he could go back to be with her in Farhill and never face this cursed war to begin with.

But he couldn’t.

As much as he wanted to talk to her as they had two years ago, he couldn’t ignore the fact that things were different now. He couldn’t open up like that to the woman who had chosen not to be with him after he had put his whole trust in her. It was too painful.

“That’s a bit of a long story,” Crow finally answered her with a shake of his head. “I told you before that I’ve had to make hard decisions in this war. Learning to fight was just one of the many.” He held her gaze as he went on, “But I’m sure you don’t have time to listen to any of that.” He hoped that the edge in his voice would be enough for her to realize that he didn’t intend to tell her about it. “Let’s just focus on why we came here.”