[center][h3]Curiosity and the Cat[/h3]
[i]by Greenie and Dervish[/i][/center]
[hr]
[i]Three Crowns Hotel, 1st of Midyear, Afternoon[/i]

It wasn’t like Megana had purposely intended to listen in on the heated conversation between the khajiit and the argonian. She’d merely been passing by the area, lost in her own thoughts, consumed by the information they had received once her motley group had returned to the hotel. Their mission hadn’t been completely successful, but they hadn’t come back empty handed, and in Meg’s opinion that counted for something. Brynja and her group had returned successful as well, with a brand new companion whom she still had to properly acquaint herself with. So it was quite the shock when the group that was supposed to return with the dwemer administrator not only came back empty handed, but had apparently tortured and killed their objective. 

She didn’t know about the others, but Meg could feel the uneasy tension in the air. They had been told quite clearly by the Poncy Man that Nblec was well loved by the people, perhaps much like how Whiterun seemed to adore their Jarl. At least that was the idea that she had in her mind. However it wasn’t the failure of the mission that had affected her as much as the perpetrator being someone she considered her friend. Even though she had remained silent about it, her mind continued to tell her that it was wrong. He would never do something like that. He was a nice and friendly person who wouldn’t caused others mindless pain!

The rational part of her mind strove to remind her that she didn’t really know much of most of their companions. How she hated that part of her mind.

So when she heard Sora’s terse voice next to the Argonian’s calm one, she couldn’t help but pause and listen in. Her heart pounded as the conversation came to an end. She knew eavesdropping wasn’t the best thing to do, but she found she couldn’t quite move from where she stood, fixed to the spot as if her boots had been nailed to the ground..

Stepping out of the gym with an exasperated expression, Daro’Vasora’s eyes immediately zeroed in on Meg and a very visceral reaction took her; she jumped back suddenly and had her claws out, fearing the worst. When she took in who it was, her hand ran down her face and she sighed in relief. “You startled me… I thought you were someone else.” she explained, a sort of apology. Her eyes opened suddenly as she gazed at the Nord. “How long have you been listening?” she asked suddenly.

"Ah- I shouldn' have, I'm sorry..." Her voice trailed momentarily before looking to the khajiit with a sheepish expression. "Not too long... 'nough to know though that he did sommat." Her hands clenched and unclenched as she gathered her thoughts. "I didn' wanna believe it last night, y'know. But hearin' that just now... it was like..." She shook her head and began to walk, not wishing to stay in one place anymore. "I thought I'd been in the wrong, lettin' all them prisoners free... but this-" She paused and looked to Daro'Vasora. "This's worse, ain' it?"

Knowing full well that Jaraleet was only moments away and likely within earshot, Daro’Vasora took Meg by the arm and back up the stairwell before continuing to talk. “Who knows what any of those prisoners did? Maybe they were scum, maybe they were political prisoners. Maybe they’ll take this second chance to heart, maybe they won’t. Don’t beat yourself up over it; you were trying to protect us and had to improvise. I can’t say I wouldn’t have done something similar, you know?” The Khajiit reassured Meg, feeling somewhat guilty that the Nord was even associating her actions with those of Jaraleet and Gregor. It left a pit in her stomach. “I only heard rumours, a few words from Latro and that no administrator turned up for questioning. Asking our Argonian friend some questions just filled in the gaps.” the Khajiit sighed, pulling a bone from her pocket to stick between her teeth; it was already well marked from grinding. 

“What am I doing wrong, Meg?” she asked suddenly, the air of the courtyard coming up ahead. Bathers were already in the bathhouse this morning, and Daro’Vasora felt that nothing would make her soul feel clean again. “I don’t know what these people need, what motivates them, how to make them do the right thing. We keep going like this, I don’t see it ending well for anyone.” she admitted. 

Meg looked at Sora, eyes widening with surprise before she looked away with guilt. How much pressure had been on the khajiit, and how much more pressure had suddenly been dropped on her shoulders in the last one day? Daro'Vasora was now their defacto leader, having taken the reins  when Rhea died,and Meg had just accepted that without a second thought, but if she really did think about it, she knew quite well she'd never be able to carry the weight of leadership.

"T'be honest? I don' think yer doin' anything's wrong, Sora. Y'could've just left Anvil without us, but y'didn'. Y'kept us together, an' I think yer doin' a fine job." She paused in her step to look at the khajiit, unsure if what she was saying was the right thing to say... but she had to say it nevertheless. "Rhea tried really hard, an' she did a mighty fine job too, but in the end- it was just too much for her all by herself, y'know? Havin' t'take care of so many diff' mind people ain't easy." She hesitated a little before continuing. "Those've us that've been there since the Jerall mountains, me, you, Brynja, Jude, Latro, Alim an' the rest... we're all like family now, an I don't think we wanna see you suffer like Rhea did."

Meg sighed softly before cracking a small smile at Daro'Vasora. "Yer not alone, yer no lone wolf, so don' try t'shoulder all the burden by yourself, a'ight? We believe in you, [I]I[/I] believe in you. We're there for you, same way you've been for us."

The words hit hard, Daro’Vasora realized as her teeth bit down hard into the bone. It was a realization she didn’t even consider, and in her goal to do better than Rhea did, she was following down the same well-intentioned but oh so foolish footsteps of the Imperial who sacrificed everything for the people she felt responsible for. 

“Family, huh? Something tells me the others wouldn’t agree with that sentiment.” The Khajiit replied, staring up at the blue sky above. “I know I’m not easy to like or trust, I just… want everything to work, you know? I thought I could see what Rhea did wrong, and how to motivate these people, and I dare say it’s worse than it ever was.” she said, finding a bench to sit down upon and falling upon it with a huff.

“The thing is, Meg, who would want this? Who wants to be the one to make decisions that could affect everyone else? I originally just wanted to give everyone safe passage and to get away from Cyrodiil, but instead, we all walked right into another mess and everyone looked at me for answers. I thought I could handle it.” Daro’Vasora explained, running her hand over her hair and retightening her ponytail. “I’m no leader. I never wanted to be.”

Meg sat herself down on the bench as well. "Honestly? Bein' a leader is the last thing I'd want too." Responsibility was something she had always run away from. Before she joined the expedition, it was always her or a partner, but no one but herself to follow or lead. Having responsibility over so many lives... she couldn't imagine it if she tried, even if she could sympathize with Daro'Vasora's troubles. "But... if I'm speakin' the truth, I don' see who else would’ve been able t'bring us as far's you have. Brynja maybe. But you stepped up... an' seein' how things're shitty no matter where we've been... I don' think it's fair t'place the blame on you. It's just the way things are now. We'd've pro'ly been in a bigger mess if we'd gone off on our own- we'd pro'ly be dead if we’d gone our own way in Anvil. An’ even here- y’never forced us, Sora. It’s us who decided… an’ if we made mistakes, they're ours, not yours. Don’ hold that over your head.”

A tight smile crossed the Khajiit’s features as she looked over to study Meg’s features. “I was just doing what Rhea would have wanted. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting anyone to stick around after we docked, and now I’m finding myself actively trying to keep people from doing stupid things that could hurt everyone else. I suppose we all have our reasons for sticking around, revenge, loss, anger… whatever it is that motivates people into punching above their weight. It helps to know at least someone thinks I’m doing alright, as much as I’d rather step aside and let someone with a bit more altruism and charisma to step up. I’d rather be back hunting for treasures and competing with rivals for them, I have no idea how to inspire people or really trust them.”

She shifted to face Meg a bit more directly, an arm over the back of the bench. “What would you have done, were you in my position? A good deed that turned into suddenly being a de facto leader of a company of mostly good people who have very little in common save for a shared trauma?”

"Well..." Meg couldn't help but let out a small sheepish laugh. "I'd've pro'ly pawned it off t'someone else. I've never been real good at takin' care of anyone 'sides from one or two more." She looked down at her stretched out legs, inspecting the tip of her boots as if they were suddenly the most interesting things in the world. "But I could be wrong. Could be I'd'a done just like you did- are doin'. Dunno until a person's in that situation, y'know?"

She sat up straight thereafter, looking to the khajiit. "Trustin' people ain' easy, but I don' think you've done wrong with the inspirin' bit, Sora. With the sorta bull headed people we got 'round us, they coulda left long ago, but they haven'. Somethin' keepin' 'em here, in this group, an' I'm thinkin' it's 'cause they realize we've been able t'beat all the odds." Her jaw tightened a little, a small frown creasing her forehead. "That bein' said though..." There was a lingering pause to her words before she continued. "If someone's gonna end up makin' shit hard for us, might be best for 'em to leave." [i]Even if they're friends.[/i] The thought hurt even to think it, and for that moment Meg had the smallest taste of what Daro’Vasora may have been feeling. Decisions that were right for the greater good, even if they were to the detriment of a few others.

The Khajiit scratched her neck with a huff. “I’ve never been good at looking after anyone but myself, and Zegol. We saw how that went with Imperial City was sacked. It’s why I’m doing this, and the selfish part of me is saying the only way I’m going to do right by him is by suckering a bunch of others into supporting my cause, even indirectly. Problem is… I actually care what happens to everyone now, as strange as it is to admit. I figured at this point, we’d have all been paid off for our work in the mountains and I’d never see any of you again, and here we are outside of the Empire trying to make things work. A lot of us became friends, started relationships… it’s way more personal than I’m used to, and apparently I’m not immune to the appeal.” She said, her mind allowing Latro to wander in with the faintest of smiles.

“I don’t want to have to drive anyone away or hurt anyone, as much as I don’t see eye to eye with a lot of them and they don’t listen worth a damn. I just realized I never had a chance to really get to know you, Meg; why are you here, what made you stick around?” Daro’Vasora asked curiously, looking over at the young and earnest Nord. Something about Meg put her at ease, and she found the words flowed easily; there was no malicious intent, no scheming. Just a rural girl that wanted to do well by people and be dependable. 

[I]She’s everything I’m not,[/I] Daro’Vasora thought.

“Me?” Meg was surprised by the question, but mostly because she never really thought anyone would wonder  or care about it, aside from Brynja. “Hm…” She scratched at the back of her neck, thinking of something that might portray her reasons as something grander than they actually were. When she did finally continue, it was only the plain truth that left her tongue. “I like bein’ part of the group. There really ain’ anythin’ waiting for me in Skyrim. Pa’s married with a kid, an’ it was obvious that [i]she[/i] didn’ really care for havin’ me ‘round… even when I’d be in Whiterun I’d stay in the inn than my Pa’s house. The only person I liked more than like- loved even- is no longer around…” Her hand now gripped the amulet of Mara under her tunic; she bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from getting too emotional. “I was lonely awhile ‘fore we went on the expedition. I dunno… it’s like I said b’fore. I feel like this is my family, like I belong here… ”

Her hand dropped to her lap. “Sorry, it’s not a really good reason, is it. When I’m doin’ whatever I am, findin’ food, goin’ on missions… it’s not really for a greater good. It’s for us, our group. The thought of it breakin’... not bein’ around… I’mma be honest an’ say I felt lost when we reached Anvil… ” She looked to Daro’Vasora, smiling softly. “An’ I was happy when I was remembered an’ told ‘bout the ship to come here.”

It was a simple enough reason, but one that Daro’Vasora had heard from quite a few adventurers or just general people down on their luck. [I]Home? Pff. What home?[/I] became such a common utterance that it often reminded her how lucky she was to have a family to one day return to. Meg was the kind of girl who needed someone to hold onto, because her family certainly wasn’t up to that task, and it made her take risks and put herself in danger for others since it would mean keeping them safe and showing support, even in a weird and kind of backwards way. Daro’Vasora rubbed her temples; Meg was hanging around, caught up in potentially lethal stakes, entirely because the Khajiit led her here and asked her to help. She was going to be the death of this poor, lonely girl who just needed a family.

[I]I really am a piece of shit, aren’t I?[/I] she thought darkly.

Meg’s last words hit hard. Her eyes met Meg’s and Daro’Vasora blinked slowly, not sure of what to say. “I… I couldn’t just leave people without having the choice to get out of that place. I wanted to get you all away from war, and I seem to have a knack for finding more trouble. I don’t think I would have ever forgotten you, Meg… you’re a good person, and you’ve always done right by me. I have a family, back in Leyawiin, and my younger sister, La’Shuni, she’s just 18 and was supposed to visit me in the Imperial City this month. I wish I’d gone home to see them, to tell them what happened, but here I am so far away and I may never get to see them again.” She smiled sadly. “I’m sure you probably think I’m a fool, for turning my back on a family that would take me back when you’d probably kill for that. You’d probably be right.”

"No." Meg shook her head, looking a little ruefully at her khajiit companion. "You ain't a fool. Or if y’are one, then we're both fools. Jus' like you, I coulda returned t'Whiterun any time- I mean, before the world went t'shit. I just had it in m'mind that just 'cause Pa's new wife didn' wan' me 'round, it meant Pa didn' either. He did so much for me, raisin' me since I was a babe, keepin' me from sinkin' too deep in the ratway... so many things but I decided not t'believe in him, takin' someone else's actions against him." She rubbed at her forehead, teeth grinding against each other before she finally allowed herself to relax. "I think we all end up doin' stuff we regret, an' we learn from those mistakes. We can' know what's gonna happen to them, but 'least we can keep us an' our friends safe, Sora, let 'em know how we really feel." 

She paused in her words, letting out a dry laugh. [I]Guess I really am born under the Lady’s sign.[/I]

“Maybe you should write him a letter, when you get a chance… and couriers are up and going again.” The Khajiit replied, grinding the bone in her teeth. “I just always felt I shouldn’t go home until I made a name for myself, succeeded on my own terms. I broke free of the cozy little life mother and father had laid out for me, and I could have excelled at either option, but it wasn’t who I am, you understand?” she asked Meg, a slight smile on her face. “I was given every opportunity in the world to excel, but I was bored and so confined in Leyawiin. I read about the world, about adventurers and kings and heroes. I dreamt of having my name show up in a book just like one I’d read so maybe another young girl like myself would be inspired to do more than just quietly accept what’s good and proper in life and do something daring. I don’t regret my choices, I just… I just don’t know if I was ever truly ready for any of this, and I’ll admit, hearing about what happened to Calen and the fact I’m more or less responsible for everyone’s welfare is weighing on me a bit. I don’t like being responsible, but I guess we don’t get to chose our fates, do we?”

"I get you," Meg replied. She could relate to Daro'Vasora wanting more of out life than she had. Hadn't she left Whiterun to adventure because she didn't simple wish to work as a delivery person between farms and the city? "Everyone wants more, ain' nothin' wrong with that. As for fate... I always hated that, not gonna lie." Meg shrugged her shoulders as she thought of how many times. "The thought of me not bein' in control of my own life? Hmm... I guess in smaller ways we are, but when we bring in everyone an' all things takin' place, maybe you're right an' all that happens an' all choices are meant t'bring us where we are. Even if it ends up with results we don' like, like Rhea's death an' poor Calen.

"Still..." Meg pursed her lips. "Kinda makes me wanna rebel against fate an' do somethin' that'd change things." Maybe it was stupid to think that way, maybe it wasn't, but damn if she wouldn't try.

There was a small moment of quiet before she spoke up once more. "I sent a letter to my Pa, back in Anvil. Dunno if it'll even reach... let's see what fate decide, eh." She smiled at Sora and gave the khajiit a light poke in the arm. "Maybe you should be doin' the same then, eh? Send a letter to your folks."

“I’ve been in contact with them that way for quite a while,” Daro’Vasora admitted. “It’s how I kept in touch at home, and kept being a big sister to La’Shuni. It’s how we made plans for her to stay with me for a month before heading back to Leyawiin before this all went down. Now I don’t know if I’ll ever hear from them again; the Dominion’s at war with the Empire, and Leyawiin might very well be under Dominion occupation now. I’ve tried not to think about it, but it seems like if I face one enemy that hurt my family, I turn my back on another. Trust me, I’ve told myself on a number of occasions that after I escaped from Imperial City, I should have gone South instead. I don’t know why I stayed with our group, other than I was grieving and not thinking things through.”

 Meg looked down at her hands, taking in the khajiit's words. So much strife, so much tearing people apart, and all for what? Would it even be worth it for those in power? Their motives confused her and always had. She hadn't tried to understand the civil war in Skyrim. This was far larger, and she was now an active member of a rebel organization. It was almost as if she was a Stormcloak. The thought was both funny and mortifying.

Looking away from her hands, she faced Sora once more. "For what it's worth, I'm glad y'stayed... an' I know I'm not the only one. An' I'm hopin' our efforts make it possible t'make a change so we can see them again somehow... our families that is."

“Well, I’m glad you feel that way. It would be a bit of a waste of my sob story if you didn’t want me around, right?” the Khajiit replied with a smile, standing up with a feline-like stretch. “Thank you for listening to me, it’s not easy being stuck with your own thoughts all the time. You’re a good person, Meg. I think I stand to learn from you in that regard.”

Meg couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "I s'pose that'd be tru, yeah." She smiled back at the khajiit, though she stayed seated on the bench, deciding to remain there for the time being. "I should be thankin' you too, Sora. You're not as hard as y'think, an' that's a good thing. If y'need someone t'talk to, I'm always aroun'."

Daro’Vasora grinned at Meg, offering the Nord a wink. “I just might take you up on that, maybe I’ll buy you a drink or two tonight and we can talk about how a cat from the Empire and a hunter from Whiterun ended up roasting in the desert. For now, I’ve got a sword I’ve been meaning to gift to Latro and it needs to be presented properly. You take care of yourself, Meg; it’s dangerous out there.” she said, offering a small farewell wave before beginning to tread down the hallway, her steps just a little lighter.

"I will, an' the same goes for you, Sora!" Meg raised a hand and waved at Daro'Vasora. It had certainly been nice to chat, especially with what was going on. It also helped her make up her mind- she was going to have a talk with Jaraleet. Whatever had happened, she wanted to hear it straight from the source.