Brendon was having a hard time pretending that everything Ryan told him was completely new information, had a hard time talking to him like a near stranger when he felt, strangely, like he’d known Ryan for his entire life. In a way, he supposed, he had- indirectly. He knew details about Ryan’s history and habits that even Ryan himself will have partially or wholly forgotten- talking to him and asking these questions, engaging in this casual conversation wasn’t just a way to slowly begin to earn his trust, but it was absolutely necessary. Brendon still didn’t know much about the human world, but he was educated and wise enough to realise that if he started asking Ryan why he’d never met his half-brother before, it wouldn’t go down well and would probably secure Brendon never being allowed within fifty feet of Ryan again. He didn’t seem like a particularly open person anyway- Brendon could only imagine his reaction if he started recalling obscure details about Ryan’s life like he was the expert. Even though he likely was. It was a strange dynamic, and one that Brendon wasn’t used to- he was used to assisting from a distance. Being up close and personal with a human like this was groundingly intimate.

When their conversation crossed into mutually common territory, about their musical abilities, Brendon found himself becoming more and more fascinated, wishing Ryan was more talkative because he could listen to him speak for hours, especially about something for which he held passion- and he could tell music was one of his. When he showed interest in learning whatever Ryan knew about it, it wasn’t a cheap trick to gain trust- Brendon had always been genuinely interested in human music and instruments, but it had obviously never been available for him to learn. He distantly recalled some rule forbidding engaging or interfering with human arts, including music or simple things like attempting to play a manmade instrument, but chose at this moment to ignore it, feigning ignorance to such a (in his opinion) ridiculous commandment. Brendon watched carefully as Ryan looked past him, at the wall, and he felt a strong twist in his stomach at the slight sadness he could detect on his face. His expression remained neutral, unrevealing, when inwardly, he was bracing himself in preparation in case they ever came into physical contact and Brendon would feel whatever Ryan felt. [i]I will.[/i] Brendon nodded, offering what he hoped was a vaguely comforting smile.

Nothing would come of avoiding such subjects, or treating Ryan like a delicate child, as God seemed to see all humans as- Brendon saw them differently, regarded Ryan face to face and decided that they were not so unalike as he had been lead to believe. Everything Ryan held over him was associated with free will and liberty and Brendon felt intensely envious even though he imagined that, if Ryan knew of Brendon’s true nature, it would be the same the other way around. [i]Yeah, I’m still here.[/i] Despite Brendon feeling no apprehension as he spoke, it was still unnverving to see Ryan’s secret smile after he accidentally mentioned that he already knew about his dad- mostly because he wasn’t educated enough to know what that mysterious, mirthless smile went. He thought about just straight up asking but decided against it, accepting, albeit belatedly, that he’d just have to figure all of this complicated human emotion stuff out as he went along. Brendon exhaled finally, not realising he’d been holding his breath. [b]”I can tell that was a sore spot for you, I’m sorry. Not something you want to be discussing with a [i]potential[/i] roommate, I’m sure.”[/b]

He attempted to settle the situation and lighten the mood as much as possible and, thank the lord, it worked. Just like his mood dropped substantially when Ryan was even faintly unhappy, Brendon skyrocketed just at that little grin he coaxed from his charge. He could already tell that he’d be experiencing a heady cocktail of intense emotions in a very short period of time and wondered how on Earth humans did it, how their mortal bodies didn’t get... Overwhelmed. Though, he supposed that a lot of the time, they did. Anyway. Being obviously religious wasn’t a bad thing to Brendon, of course, but being so easily ‘clocked’ or whatever set him off wondering whether he had to be more subtle. [i]Maybe not that obvious until you told me God spent extra time on me.[/i] Brendon opened his mouth but couldn’t find an answer, just shrugged sheepishly and felt his face heat up. [b]”I- It does happen with some people,”[/b] He said, his expression earnest. [i]It’s fine- not like that’s something I’ll forget.[/i] Well. Brendon shifted in his chair, this time noticeably less graceful; admittedly, he was still rather perturbed.

The mood, though, was still light, until a subject that Brendon had absolutely not been informed about came up and he was now a deer caught in metaphorical headlights, having no idea how to react or behave to whatever was about to be revealed to him. It wasn’t like there was a manual, and such things were rarely, if ever, discussed. [i]Gay?[/i] Brendon had been expecting it, but still, the word alarmed him, and consequently a deep shame and he knew where neither emotions came from. He hoped neither were obvious on his face. [i]Sure. Feel free to take back all of the ‘'I'll help you with your debt,' 'we're still here despite everything' bullshit.[/i] Visibly recoiling at the harshness of his tone, Brendon looked something like a kicked puppy, unable to cope under even a little pressure before he buckled, and he had no idea how to claw himself out of this one. It wasn’t like he thought anything was wrong with it, he was just- he wasn’t allowed to think [i]anything[/i] about it, and the panic of not knowing how to respond set in immediately. Not knowing what else to, Brendon stood up suddenly from the chair, sending it screeching along the floor. 

He knew he was making it worse, but was lost for what to do, just stood there, his heart hammering and his stomach turning and he felt awful. [i]And you act a little fruity yourself, so I'd advise not being a total asshole about it.[/i]For some reason, after that, panic mode stopped and time felt like a thick jelly, like he had time to formulate some sort of response just because he was so baffled by that ‘fruity’ comment. [b]”Fruity?”[/b] He echoed, arms crossing his chest nervously. He shook his head, dismissive. [b]”Listen, Ryan, I think you-“[/b] Deep breath. When he spoke next, his voice was harsher, more eloquent. [b]”I was just [i]asking.[/i] Let me respond before you jump to conclusions. I’m not sure anymore I’m welcome, so if you want to show me the door.”[/b]