Crow let out his breath in a soft sigh after he finished speaking. Holding himself back from the chance to be with Penelope again was one of the hardest decisions he had ever made. However, he knew he had done the right thing. If he had taken her offer, he may have been taking advantage of what seemed to be an impulsive desire on her part. It would have been selfish to do something that would ruin her life without giving her the opportunity to think about the consequences of what she was asking, so she could back out if it was too much after all.

He looked up at Penelope again, feeling a bit surprised as she went on to say that she hadn’t just started to feel this way about him that night. It wasn’t just because he had comforted her in the storm; she had been in love with him since the day they parted. His mind reeled at the new information, and he had to force his emotions into check. Just because she had always felt the same way for him that he did for her didn’t mean that it was the best decision for them to get back together. It still remained true that she needed to consider everything she would lose if she chose him. She had to decide what was most important to her.

When she finished talking, Crow didn’t respond right away. Not sure what to say, he let a brief silence fall between them as he took a moment to gather his thoughts. Ever since they had reunited on that first night about a month ago, he had thought she had moved on from him completely. To learn that his first impression had been wrong, and that she was still in love with him was a lot to take in, especially since he still didn’t know if it meant he could have her again.

[i]Even if she comes back in a few days and says she chooses me, can I really take her back?[/i] He frowned as he thought about something else that might stand in between them.

His illness had already started to progress again to the next phase that the herbalist had described. With no cure in sight, he didn’t know how much longer he had before it took his life. Was it really fair to let Penelope give up her entire life for him, when he might only be around for a few more years? The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became that it wasn’t right to take her away from everything she knew just so he could have her for a little while longer.

He blinked, realizing he was starting to give up on finding a cure for his sickness. [i]No,[/i] he thought determinedly. [i]I’m not done yet. Between now and the next time we meet, I’m going to keep looking.[/i]

Feeling a bit more resolve from his decision, he looked to Penelope again to answer her. “Thank you for telling me,” he smiled at her appreciatively. “I just want you to know that when you come back to give me that answer, I’ll be content with your decision… whatever it may be.” He shifted to sit a little closer to her and leaned over to press a gentle kiss to her cheek. “You need to do what you think is best for you,” he went on quietly. “But no matter what you choose, I’ll always be there for you in any way I can.”