Ryan hadn't thought about how essentially having a new best friend would affect Brendon, not at all, good or bad. He didn't think it would even have an effect - it was his change, not Brendon's, because in his eyes she only really took up the time that Brendon wasn't around (and that wasn't to say Z was only around to take his place; they played their own separate roles in Ryan's life, and Z conveniently made time for him when he had a free schedule). Admittedly it was a little inconsiderate. Ryan knew Brendon arguably better than anyone and therefore probably could have guessed Brendon would take offense of some kind to someone else stepping in - or, well, maybe not [i]offense,[/i] but he'd at least be hurt in a way - and it took him way too long to remember that, yes, he definitely had to reassure his sweet Aries boy that he still loved him most dearly and no one would ever come close to that and there was nothing he'd bring to Z that he wouldn't bring to Brendon first. Brendon had reason to be concerned, anyway, this wasn't just something childish or immature. He was gone a lot, didn't have any scope into what was going on while he was on tour. 

Anyway, Brendon never mentioned it, never came close to openly complaining although Ryan caught glimpses of him looking vaguely insecure when Z was the one by his side penning new songs and toying with chords being his collaborator. It was a far cry from Ryan just playing with Jon; they'd all worked together at one point, and Z was completely new. It didn't change anything, though. Neither of them mentioned it because it wasn't something that needed to be 'worked on' - just a bit of a learning curve is all. They didn't work together publicly, rarely released joint songs or featured each other in tracks, but they sure as hell kept writing the love songs that played out their story in pretty words and modelled metaphors. From the perspective of someone like, say, Spencer or Jon, who'd witnessed it all coming together, it was probably a little cringey and played out. But Brendon and Ryan never got sick of it, clearly, or else they'd have run out of material already. Evidently, loads of dedication to one another was ground for endless creative energy.

Even after years, though, Ryan was still never prepared for his bountious amounts of compliments, and kind of lifted his chin to avoid looking flattery dead-on. [i]Even if it is the law. There’s yet to be a day when I would be lying to say that you’re fucking astounding.[/i] Ryan grew quiet, leaning his jaw easily against Brendon's hand and shutting his eyes slowly. And then he moved away, because performing again was kind of freaking him out and nervous energy was getting the best of him. Again. He hadn't had that in years officially, but it came back in tiny waves, and Ryan was convinced he'd be stuck with the anxiety forever. He supposed it wasn't such a big deal. Even Brendon, the best stage presence he'd ever known, the most natural frontman to exist of all time, occasionally got it. Nothing to worry over... and yet he still sort of beat himself up about it all. 

Ryan watched the proud smile take up Brendon's face, though, and suddenly it didn't seem so bad. He smiled right back, soft, and wondered for the millionth time how he was so lucky to find someone that could see the best in him. [i]You’ve never disappointed me before. You never could.[/i] Ryan tilted his head to the side a bit, charmed, and studied Brendon, like he was the one who was going up on stage to please an audience of people tonight. Seemed they both held each other in way too high esteem. [i]And everyone there, like, worships you, so. No worries.[/i] Ryan watched him bumble about awkwardly for a second before sighing inwardly, knowing exactly what was on his mind. [b]"Yeah, yeah, sure they do,"[/b] he murmured, although he supposed he kind of believed it. He'd seen Instagram. God knows why people continued to tag him in ten year old pictures when he did absolutely nothing with himself these days... well, close to it.

Brendon looked like he really didn't know how to hold himself without Ryan's arms securing him there, so Ryan came back to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and a hand around the back of his neck before walking him slowly to the couch again, leaning them against the back comfortably. [b]"So,"[/b] he said, maybe stalling a little bit, [b]"any requests? Maybe Z will let me throw in another impromptu love song. Or maybe I'll just surprise you."[/b] He curled his fingers through his hair a few times, settling a few locks set astray by Brendon lying on the couch with the dogs moments before. [b]"You could join me onstage, too. Little bit of a reunion."[/b] Maybe Z wouldn't be so open to that. Brendon was, in comparison to the other acts, [i]huge.[/i] Actually, he was even without comparison. It was a little unbelievable. Despite Ryan's best wishes that he could play on equal grounds with his husband, they were sort of different worlds by now, so much so that Brendon may be something of a distraction to Z's show's original intent.