Ryan missed him. He missed a lot about the band - the fact that their following had accumulated so quickly and so strongly that they hardly had to do much to generate enthusiasm was one huge surprising change (and it appeared that love for the band came mostly because of the half that stayed with the original name; Ryan couldn't find nearly as many people interested in his and Jon's new work). But the sentimental stuff was worse, like how he'd been longterm best friends with everyone in that lineup. Even if he didn't get on with Brendon ninety percent of the time before their little episode, he was at least comfortable with him, had a familiar routine. With the new group he wasn't totally sure of himself or of them; of course it's not like he didn't trust them or like them, just. It wasn't the same. And he was pretty sure they weren't in it for the long haul, just to complete a tour and then call in a replacement. When it was Brendon, Spencer, Jon, and Ryan, no one dared to even call in sick - when their temperature read one-hundred degrees they'd stupidly risk it because, in their minds, no one could play like the originals. That was a distant idea now.

But anyway. More than he missed the thousands of things he had taken for granted during his time in that band, he missed [i]Brendon[/i] - and, yes, this is the same Brendon he gave the cold shoulder to for over a year, the same Brendon that was about the only person he'd ever been in so many near-physical fistfights with, the same Brendon who learned to torment him right back rather than take the petty behavior silently. He was all of that, but he was also the Brendon that helped him get over the worst relationship in his life, the one who really had saved his band from failing, the one who stuck stubbornly on his mind constantly ever since Seattle. He missed Brendon's smile and his laugh that he'd only recently been given the privilege of seeing genuinely and frequently when the split happened. He missed seeing him work, probably the most passionate musician Ryan had ever seen (and Ryan knew Jon, who worked 24/7/365). He missed talking to him, like towards the end when he could hold real, full conversations with him, learn about his real personality that he'd snubbed when he was first replaced as frontman. 

Seeing him again, suddenly Ryan couldn't remember why he'd reasoned that it would be a bad idea to reach out to him after the split. Really he knew he shouldn't be falling for it - on stage Brendon had this allure that would make anyone gravitate towards him,  and Ryan could fool himself into thinking that all the old feelings he'd pushed aside in favor of moving on with his life were actually fully gone. But he'd never gotten over it, unsurprising by the lack of any closure to their weird, incomprehensible relationship. Bizarre. Typically Ryan didn't get super easily attached. Brendon's small, unreadable smile back at him in the mirror, though, brought him back, and suddenly he felt freshly twenty-one again, drunk off of various concentrations of alcohol and the prettiest boy in existence. It's not like he was [i]in love,[/i] they weren't some fairytale romance, never had been. It's just. He had been borderline obsessed with the guy. Hard to pretend nothing ever happened there.

[i]Hey.[/i] Even hearing his voice again, his offstage speaking voice, a little rough and tired from use, was grounding. Ryan switched from looking at their reflection to watching Brendon himself, searching his face for changes, finding a new calmness and surety that he wasn't certain had been there before. [i]Thanks, man, you too.[/i] Ryan doubted it - maybe they were good, not to the same extent otherwise they'd be headlining their own tour, but he shrugged halfheartedly anyway as a silent thanks. [i]I’ve been told that sometimes I’m too much, but. Good to know you approve.[/i] Ryan laughed lightly, and wondered whether he should mention that he could only stand seeing the stage show through for one song. He didn't approve, not quite. Ryan decided to keep that to himself - it was more embarrassing for him than it would be for Brendon. [b]"Hey, 'too much' is what you do best. Stick with it."[/b] He smiled, charmed, and was glad he could get through saying that rather than freaking out on Brendon the way he had last time he'd caught him with Ian, but he hoped to God Brendon wouldn't actually take his advice. He'd be suffering this whole tour.

[i]Yeah, I’m great, how are you?[/i] These were just pleasantries, but Ryan believed him, was actually glad that he was doing all right. He knew Brendon would thrive with the extended creative freedom, but there'd been a part of him worried that maybe adjusting would be difficult, or something. No such thing as not being able to adapt, in Brendon's case. [b]"Fine,"[/b] Ryan returned quietly, dropping his gaze to his feet somewhat timidly when his mind flashed back to Brendon's stage act without his permission. God. He wondered exactly how long that would be burned in his brain. [i]Are we the only ones here? How come you stayed back?[/i] Ryan tilted his head curiously, wondering if he was playing ignorant intentionally. Of course Ryan stayed back for him, just for him. What else would he have stayed for? Everything else paled in importance compared to seeing him up close again. [b]"I think we are. Spencer and Jon are apparently reconnecting."[/b] He smiled fondly at that, glad they were still evidently close as ever despite a common connection being cut.

[b]"I stayed for you. Why else?"[/b] Ryan stepped closer, uncrossing his arms and shoving them in his pockets. He paused for a moment, wondering what his limits were, but Brendon had usually appreciated his honesty more than his attempts to save them from an awkward encounter in the past. [b]"I didn't realize how much I missed you until I saw you again,"[/b] he said carefully, earnest, and it might have sounded like a line if he didn't mean it mostly platonically. He missed their almost-romance, too, but more than that, he'd been warming up to their newfound friendship or what was close to that just before the split. The timing was pretty terrible. Less platonically, he chanced moving closer again, gaze drifting down to Brendon's open shirt for a second. Braving the nerves that told him he'd probably get rejected, that the stage show might not be an act and he was committed to one of his new band members, Ryan reached out, brushing a knuckle lightly over Brendon's exposed chest briefly. [b]"And I guess I missed this too, but that's not all that surprising."[/b]