Brendon [i]did[/i] have a thing for tall guys, even though he refused to admit it, and furthermore he knew that Ryan had clocked him on that- so when he mentioned Dallon, whom Ryan had seen in all of his six foot four inch glory, he imagined how that would seem, especially when he had to go and run his mouth and say [i]my[/i] bassist. He didn’t mean anything by it at all- though the debauchery onstage might suggest otherwise, there was nothing other than a friendship between Brendon and Dallon, and he wasn’t even sure why he was worrying about it, second-guessing his phrasing for Ryan’s benefit, when he was unsure whether Ryan would even care. Why would he? It had been a significant amount of time since they’d even spoken, it’s not like what they had had been a real relationship, or anything. If Brendon had read into his own thoughts a little more, he would have come to the realisation that he [i]wanted[/i] Ryan to care. He [i]wanted[/i] there to be jealousy, he wanted to be the object of Ryan’s attentions. It was just hard to admit to himself, especially after all this time when he should be well and truly over him now. [i]No, I haven’t, not yet.[/i] Seemed pretty nonchalant. Brendon’s smile wavered desperately, as he considered the possibility that [i]maybe, [/i]just [i]maybe[/i] the reason that Brendon hadn’t fallen for Dallon as everyone around them sort of expected was that he was too busy being Ryan’s, even now. 

[i]He looked cool, though. He’d play along.[/i] Brendon nodded, tilting his head just barely and allowing the little smile to return comfortably to his face as he recalled their less than innocent antics on stage, tonight and shows previous to that. [b]”He is,”[/b] Came his affectionate response, because Dallon was. A little whiny, sometimes, maybe, but had a flair and showmanship that came close to rivalling Brendon’s. He turned a little more towards Ryan, lifting an eyebrow sharply, suggestively. [b]”And yeah, he would. Sometimes we don’t know when to stop. And we wonder why people think we’re dating,”[/b] As Brendon spoke, he chuckled, shaking his head as if bemused, like everything he did up there when the lights came on wasn’t completely intentional and every move was manufactured for a purpose, to start rumours, cause controversy, fuck with people- Brendon was at the stage in his life where he was fed up of strumming serenely at an acoustic guitar and singing nonsensical love songs (no offence to Ryan)- he now savoured the spotlight, made the most of the attention he got and reinvented himself completely. He’d grown leaner, his hair had gone through a dramatic revamping, his voice had improved and he was more bold, less reined in by the past, much more sensible members of the band (they were virgos and he was an aries, that’s all anyone had to know).

It was a new era, and he’d hoped to wipe a slate clean, start afresh with new people and new music, but here was Ryan, and he was desperately trying to cling onto that past even if on the surface he seemed relatively nonchalant about this whole reunion. Ryan’s company brought Brendon’s head and heart back to the original lineup, to Spencer and Jon, and nostalgia he’d mostly quelled, an emotion like grief he’d almost overcome both resurfaced again for brief, bubbling moments before they evaporated into a vague, wistful, more manageable sensation. He missed them all, but he couldn’t let that hold him back. [i]I'm sure he'll find you first. He's been gushing about both of you and your new music ever since the label told us we'd be on this tour together.[/i] Brendon allowed himself to grin affectionately, pleased by the knowledge that Jon, one of the most talented and multifaceted musicians he knew, had praised (apparently endlessly) his new music. It meant a lot because Jon meant a lot to him, no matter how long it’d been since they last spoke. That distance would be resolved soon, though, so all would be sound. [b]”Tell him the feeling’s mutual,”[/b] He replied, though that was mostly a lie. Brendon hadn’t heard enough to pass his judgement properly. He wasn’t sure what was stopping him listening to their new record- maybe the knowledge that Ryan put all his feelings into song, and Brendon was terrified that he would hear a reference to himself in the music, and also terrified that he wouldn’t. 

[b]”I’ll admit, I had my doubts about this  tour. Seemed like the label wanted to feed off the ‘drama’ or whatever they fuckin’ hoped would happen.”[/b] Brendon murmured, then glanced carefully at Ryan. When he looked back, that’s when it hit him square in the face that Ryan was hitting on him, less than ten minutes since they’d reunited after months of nothing at all, radio silence. At least it solved the mystery of whether Ryan cared about him at all in that way anymore, and the answer was yes, he did. Though this was the outcome that the most carnal parts of his brain wanted, the logical parts didn’t know what to think. Brendon was uneasy, but not uneasy enough to tell Ryan to back off, which everyone knew that he would have no trouble doing if that’s what he felt was necessary. He was intensely curious about what turns this encounter would take. [i]I’m predictable.[/i] Not exactly, but Brendon released a rush of air from past his lips as a sort-of laugh, the corner of his mouth quirking affectionately. [b]”God, I wish you were.”[/b]

Things accelerated from there and suddenly Brendon was actually going along with Ryan’s sudden advances, even inviting him to stay while he [i]got undressed.[/i] Brendon didn’t recall smoking or drinking anything recently, but still he felt like an outsider watching his body make bad, bad decisions. He just couldn’t help himself, and apparently, nor could Ryan, whose eyes he felt trained on him, drinking him in, almost, as he shed layers. Brendon suddenly felt paranoid that he’d misread the situation, as Ryan hadn’t moved since he invited him to stay, so he hastily offered him a way out in case he felt trapped, or something. There was a suffocating moment of hesitation and silence between them and then Ryan was close, so close, and his hands were at Brendon’s waist and he only glanced up at him once before he stared back down and Ryan’s hands were already deftly undoing the clasp on his belt like it was second nature, muscle memory neither of them were in a hurry to forget. He supposed they were past the point of return and sucked in a breath. [i]I’d be pretty stupid to stay.[/i] Brendon’s eyes were wide- don’t go, don’t go, don’t go. Ryan was right, but had it ever stopped them before? [i]But I’d be even more stupid to leave.[/i] Brendon felt breathless, and he draped his arms over Ryan’s shoulders if only to ground himself from swaying. 

[i]Hey, what you did up there, on stage... I'd be pretty interested to see how that'd look with me.[/i] Brendon’s eyes, though dark since his pupils had dilated almost completely, glittered, and he raised his eyebrows, tilting his back and meeting Ryan’s gaze. [b]”Y’gotta be more specific,”[/b] He pointed out, moving his arms so both of his hands now cradled either side of Ryan’s jaw. [b]”I do a [i]lot[/i] on stage. Better tell me straight, or I’ll end up miming blowing you and call it a day.”[/b] Brendon was on the cusp of a laugh, but then he met Ryan’s eyes again, reading his expression, and it faltered. Giving the slightest nod of consent, Brendon’s hands slid down to hang onto the front of his shirt as he met Ryan in a kiss, so unlike the first one they’d shared, he thought with more clarity, couldn’t get out of his head enough to enjoy it- but he saw it through til the end, stirred by memories of Ryan’s taste, before he pulled back, and his eyes were wide. [b]”I- Ryan,”[/b] He said, quietly, start-stopping because he wasn’t sure exactly what it was he wanted to say. [b]”I- I missed you. But, baby, I don’t know what you want. What is it that you want from me this time?”[/b] His words were gentle, not accusatory, just- searching. He wasn’t sure he could provide whatever it was that Ryan was looking for- they’d already proven to themselves a relationship wouldn’t work. There was a beat, and Brendon figured he’d been too serious too soon. 

[b]”If it’s just the late nights,”[/b] He started, hands moving to the collar of Ryan’s shirt to start moving down, pulling it apart button by button, eyes focused on his task, [b]”I think we can work it out.”[/b]